Memorable Quotes.

[Rocket Man]

Back to the In Nomine campaign:

Jesher, an angel in canine form, starts laughing at a comment made by another PC ... which, because of his body, comes out as a series of sharp barks.

Susan: "What's wrong, Lassie? Did Timmy fall down a well?"

[MattStriker]

From DSA (german RPG system):

We're taking part in a cross-country chariot race honoring Rondra, the goddess of valor. There's pretty strict rules about what is or isn't honorable in her view, and most classic PC tricks definitely aren't. So, for the most part, we were pretty handicapped by trying to stay pious.

One of the NPC participants obviously didn't feel the same way and cheated. A lot.

So the next time we encounter him, the mage has finally had enough and conjures up an illusion...Rondra herself, riding down from a storm cloud on her divine chariot.

The divine apparition proceeds to yell at the cheater in classic drill sergeant fashion for about ten minutes, after which he's thoroughly repentant, abandons the race and vows to do penance for a few years.

The mage smirks.

Then the 'illusion' turns to the mage and says 'and now to you, smartass...'.

[Mark Skarr]

One of the other leads has a Burger King Twilight cup sitting on the desk next to him.

Me: Chris, are you a Twilight person?
Chris: No, not really. Why?
Me: I saw you fondling Nick's cup. *Beat* And by cup I meant drinking vessel.
Chris: Mark! You're never this spicy this early in the day!

[mlangsdorf]

This is a two-parter from my dungeon fantasy game. The play sessions in question are separated by half a year or more...

Narrator: The delvers march back up, retracing their path and following the road through the woods. Around 5 pm, as they notice something strange on dirt path: a strange trail cuts across it. The trail consists of a long, thick line as though a log had been dragged, surrounded by a random pattern of heavy impacts, roughly 1' circular. The circles are roughly 4-6" deep. There are no footprints.
Wolfgang: "What is THAT?"
Beltarne: "some kinda.... spider-worm....thingee?
Ghazeb: "Ghazeb thinks this could be dangerous, stay back."
Thasos: starts waving his hands around, gesturing wildly. makes scary faces and claws with his hands.
Beltarne: "Hm. So bad."
Minnizig: "I'm guessing Thasos also thinks it's bad."
Thasos: finally draws a bunch of lines on each side of the main one, crossing it.
Minnizig: "Legs? Are those dots, what, eyes? Things it spits at us?"
Thasos: points at his head.
Minnizig: "Heads."
Thasos: nods emphatically.
Minnizig: "Its what, a hydra? A big ass hydra? With legs."
Beltarne: "Like a hydra? A spider hydra. Great."
Thasos: points at Beltarne and nods his head, over and over.
Marik: "We're leaving now."
Minnizig: is totally getting out of there before the giant slug spider hydra with a club comes for them.


GM: well, basically a tree walks out of the faerie woods, moves past your camp at a range of a few hundred yards, and heads down toward the lake shore. It tears up the ground behind it in a wide trail, and its many arms dig deep divots into the earth on either side of its path. The tree has a huge, vaguely manlike head, which turns from side to side as it walks.
Wolfgang: ...
Marik: "...I'm not messing with a walking tree."
Beltarne: It's the goddamned spider-hydra!!!
Shelley Zombie: BUSY SO VERY BUSY

[Koshka]

Superhero game, they're investigating the disappearance of three children in a small town. One PC has just deduced that there's at least one more disappearance "due". She called the local priest and asked him to get all the kids of the right age into the church for safety.

Player 2, OOC: So you called for rectory assistance?

Meanwhile, two other characters had run off on their own to investigate, forgotten to check for traps on the door they broke through, and got themselves slamdunked into a mindscape. They've met the missing children (also trapped in that mindscape), and are trying to see if there's something they can do to break everyone out. The party brick goes into a temple-like building, and decides to smash the stone altar inside.

Player 2 (same guy as above), OOC: What type of stone is the altar? If it's volcanic, she could be committing basalt and battery.

[William]

On IRC, so the following quote is strictly a matter of timing and a fortunate description of a lost connection:

GM_: He nods to the eagle's banner, which the spellcaster holds out. The device is a pair of scales. "Travelers, you stand in the realm of the Titan Themis, embodiment of the Natural Order, Mother of Dike, Lady of Justice."

GM_: "And if you did not know this... how, and why, did you get here?"

Rina: "Is that the goddess with the short hair?"

*** Signoff: Rina (Disintegrated: Rina)

[mlangsdorf]

The out of character chat as my players confront an Elder Thing, specifically described as non-symmetrical on all axis and otherwise unnatural:

Ted: how can they eat with no mouths?
Kevin: It's best not to speculate.
Jeff: the tusk is like a straw
Emily: Absorb things. Teleport them into their tummies. Disintegrate them and inhale the dust. Squirt negative energy on it and absorb the radiation... Has a mouth but it's just not in the dimension right now...
Mark: ... non euclidean horror from beyond space and time.
Kevin: o/` the foot bone's connected to the rib bone, the hip bone's connected to the ear bone, the ia, ia, Cthulhu f'thagn... o/`

[ziresta]

From my Risus Bunnies & Burrows one shot:

The bunnies are fleeing from a farmer.

R: I have a plan. Let's run screaming.
Flossy: No, let's just run.
Fluffy: I never flee. I march triumphantly away . . . with speed.

From my space opera game:

Alan, delivered perfectly deadpan, after drinking very potent alcohol: I'm not . .. oh dear, I seem to have lost some of my higher brain function. Do you have somewhere I can lie down because I cannot feel my feet?

Morath, the cat person from a very odd culture, explaining why he's a pirate: Well, I had to do something to make my mother proud after my brother became a doctor.

Alan again, showing his less than perfect command of English: The apple does not fall too far from the forest.
The person he was talking to: Tree.
Alan: The tree does not fall too far from the forest.

A conversation between a three-year-old (whose father is a literature professor) and one of the "freelance freedom fighters" who is proudly uncultured:
It was a mephator?
Uh, yes.
Oh, I know what that is.
That makes you a little smarter than me right now.

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by ziresta

Alan again, showing his less than perfect command of English: The apple does not fall too far from the forest.
The person he was talking to: Tree.
Alan: The tree does not fall too far from the forest.

Not terribly inaccurate.

GM: You notice the monkey is wearing a shirt that has a telephone number on it.
Michelle: I'll call the number.
Guy: I'll check the back of the shirt.
Tsunami: It says "this monkey will self-destruct in 10 seconds."

[Koshka]

I think I almost sprained the GM's brain last session.

Background, or this won't make any sense: Steampunk game, but with magic in the world as well. We're trying to get a cursed diamond (radiating a three dice Unluck field) to someplace safe. My spirit medium character is the only one with Luck, so she got stuck with the task of spending the trip sitting next to the cursed diamond trying to suppress the Unluck field. One time she failed to suppress it, we got captured by the baddies.

The main villain has just finished his monologue. He orders my character chained to the etheric death ray he's just installed the cursed diamond in, as a living safety switch. I tell the GM that I'm trying to pull my spiritual influence away from the gem and let the Unluck field have its way with the bad guys. He let me roll the Unluck field, but it didn't kick in.

"Can I roll my Luck to see if the unluck triggers anyway?"