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Old 08-01-2013, 08:48 AM   #801
vicky_molokh
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Funniest THS moments:

Kitsos: "Hey, there's a cockroach in my apartment, and I can't find it."
Caine: "Wait 10 minutes. I'll get to your space station and deploy a Devourer Swarm to hunt it down."
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Old 08-10-2013, 05:03 AM   #802
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

. . . and some of the most un-funny:

Cultist: "Haha! They're too late! I already have four Health Mines in my body!"

To put things in context, he is referring to surgical modifications that give/increase the chance that the body will suffer a random, seemingly-natural fatal failure, either due to being put under stress, or just with a small probability over the passage of time.

GM thinks he failed to convey the crazy fanaticism of the NPC. I'd say that phrase alone made it.
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Old 08-13-2013, 05:29 PM   #803
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Players defeated a magical alien monster, captured its soul jar, then placed said soul jar in an industrial diamond-making machine and turned it on.

GM:You kind of put her soul in a diamond making machine.
GM: And then broke it.
Player1: Look again.
Player1: YOUR SOUL IS NOW DIAMONDS


****
Different game. Players are dealing with a chained up-spider demon lady, who wants to be let out. One PC has reason to believe her family has a pact with this monster, so everyone's planning on letting her out. Even after said spider lady mentions that she's eaten humans before.

Well, almost everyone.

Leonard: "Oh Scotty come on! It's a creepy girl that eats people. In a cave!"
Leonard: "WITH SPIDERS."
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:47 AM   #804
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Last game session one of the players had her character go on a drunken bender, black out, and wake up the next morning in a tree wearing someone else's clothes with the "Owl of Shame" staring at him. Then the rest of the group found him:

Drunk: "Get me down."
Everyone else: A lot of laughing
Drunk: "Please?"
Surly Ork: "Fine. Somebody get a grappling hook and some rope. We'll snag his leg and yank him down."
Drunk: "What?! No!"
Surly Ork: "Crybaby."
Surlier Dwarf: *starts spell* "I'll just blast him out then."
Drunk: "Ahh! No! What the hell is wrong with you people? You're supposed to be my friends. Help me!"
Lizard Guy and Human: "We found a ladder. We can jab him with it until he falls out."
Drunk: "I hate my life."
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Old 08-18-2013, 03:18 PM   #805
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

I was DMing a game of 1E AD&D many years ago.

A player made a Wish, without the ability or scroll to do so. In my game, that meant god call.

I had him roll percentil dice for the page of the Deities and Demigods book.

His character, a neutral good elf, got Asmodeus. Big evil dude.

His character politlely asked for help.

Asmodeus: "Ah, I always wanted a wind up toy. And you're it !"
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Old 08-19-2013, 10:17 AM   #806
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Fantasy game, one player just realized the characters include two halflings, one dwarf, and one gnome.

"We need booster chairs for this adventure!"

---
Later, our camp was attacked by a pride of catweres (cats that can take a sorta-human form). One character, using a warhammer, rolled a Head location.

Player (singing): Cat splat fever ...
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Old 08-20-2013, 03:22 AM   #807
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

An intelligent, educated, responsible AI in charge of a space station (and its security!) asks: "What is an 'insect'? And what is a 'Cyberswarm'?"
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Old 08-27-2013, 05:59 PM   #808
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From last night's 1920's era setting. The GM intimates that we may soon need to travel to the Indian jungles.

Player 1: Oh, I'm not sure about that. Lions sleep in jungles.

Me: No, that's Tigers. Lions are on the African plains.

Player 3: Don't be an idiot! Everyone knows that it's snakes that are on planes!
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:17 PM   #809
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Said simultaneously by a vampire with discriminatory hearing, and a wolf with discriminatory smell:

Vampire: Do you smell that?
Werewolf: Do you hear that?
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:22 AM   #810
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Same fantasy game as my last post. We've just caught up with a group of kidnappers, and the GM is collecting party actions. One PC (the mage's bodyguard) wants to borrow the mage's belt of flying and go ahead to attack. Incidentally, those two players are in a relationship.

GM: Player 1, what are you doing?
Player 1 (the bodyguard): I strip Player 2 (the mage).
GM: Do we really have time for that?
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