Food and drink

[Kromm]

I game first to be social, and therefore tolerate a huge amount of digression, joking, and in-game deconstruction, and even the occasional pillow toss. I game second for escapism and silly kicks, and therefore don't especially try to build an environment that's good for complex planning or running numbers. I put all the other stuff in third place or below.

On food. Bonnie (my wife) and I used to prepare meals for games: everything from simple pasta or do-it-yourself pizzas to Peking duck or seven sorts of sushi, depending on our mood. We eventually stopped not because we're mean-spirited hosts but because we're always the hosts. The effort and expense were taking their toll, and in any event our personal schedules started to cut into prep time (Bonnie gets in just before gaming, and I'm still working when people show up). I still miss it, and we'll probably go back to it eventually. Until then, gaming happens after – not during – dinner, but people are welcome to bring snacks. We often still provide those; typically, this means baking something.

On alcohol. In our experience, 30- and 40-something adults of sensible body weight who've been through the decade or two of social adjustment and tolerance-building that's customary in the West should be able to have a drink or two with no more impact than a coffee or two, candy, or anything else. If this causes problems, then somebody has issues that no gaming-table code can fix; specifically, if "social event with a couple of drinks" consistently turns into "social event for drinking," then somebody suffers from a serious dysfunction and needs therapy. That's our view, in light of which we used to serve wine with/after meals, we're entirely happy to see people have a beer or two during gaming, and I've even been known to make cocktails.

On cleanliness. My only complaint is that people leave what airlines like to call "service items" – dishes, wrappers, empty bottles, etc. – in my living room instead of dumping the recyclables in the recycling, the compostables in the compost, the waste in the rubbish bin, and the dishes next to the sink. Coasters take care of cup rings, and are a host's responsibility. I've solved the problem of food and drink on character sheets by putting character sheets into transparent plastic report sleeves. Crumbs happen, but the cat seems to remove them before I sweep (and I sweep anyway).

Again, caveat ludor. If you came to my game and expected orderly rows of rulebooks, neat notes, funky props, and a bunch of people sitting around a big table, clutching character sheets and dice, you'd be badly disappointed. You'd find people sprawled over couches and comfy chairs in a tableless room in a college-kid-style apartment, with me seated on a cushion on the floor, surrounded by a sea of papers and dice. My games resemble something akin to coffee klatches with games and the occasional beer. I'm more late-night talk-show host – with asides, dumb jokes, and then "Seriously . . . No, no, but seriously . . ." – than some gripping storyteller.

[Jame]

We have a couple people who bring snacks for everyone, such as cookies and such. Generally we bring our own drinks (when I'm done with mine I often fill it up with water from the tap), except we never bring alcohol, since we meet at a game store and have to travel home by car and subway.

We used to go to a bar nearby and have supper but after a disagreement we stopped (though I think it was going out anyways).

[Mylon]

I normally make pizza for the group. I get the dough started, then we game. When the game is finished the dough is all ready and it's time to socialize and eat. My visitors have taken towards bringing their own soda, finally. Maybe next I can train them to bring pizza toppings.

[Turhan's Bey Company]

Originally Posted by Kromm

Crumbs happen, but the cat seems to remove them before I sweep

An important point. Our pack of dogs ensures that food spills aren't a problem. Of course, they also shed enough that anyone who comes over to our house can leave with sufficient hair to knit themselves a new puppy.

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by Kromm

On food. Bonnie (my wife) and I used to prepare meals for games: everything from simple pasta or do-it-yourself pizzas to Peking duck or seven sorts of sushi, depending on our mood. We eventually stopped not because we're mean-spirited hosts but because we're always the hosts. The effort and expense were taking their toll, and in any event our personal schedules started to cut into prep time (Bonnie gets in just before gaming, and I'm still working when people show up). I still miss it, and we'll probably go back to it eventually. Until then, gaming happens after – not during – dinner, but people are welcome to bring snacks. We often still provide those; typically, this means baking something.

As I don't cook (trust me, this is for the best), I have no problem bringing the food to be cooked. You may have to tell me where to find the stranger ingredients, but I have no problem buying the food. And it does get expensive, but at least I get a "home-cooked" meal regularly.

Originally Posted by Kromm

On alcohol. In our experience, 30- and 40-something adults of sensible body weight who've been through the decade or two of social adjustment and tolerance-building that's customary in the West should be able to have a drink or two with no more impact than a coffee or two, candy, or anything else. If this causes problems, then somebody has issues that no gaming-table code can fix; specifically, if "social event with a couple of drinks" consistently turns into "social event for drinking," then somebody suffers from a serious dysfunction and needs therapy. That's our view, in light of which we used to serve wine with/after meals, we're entirely happy to see people have a beer or two during gaming, and I've even been known to make cocktails.

I agree. If it doesn't affect the game, then it shouldn't be an issue. Just yesterday I tried a sip of vodka-sake . . . not something I'm likely to try again. My throat burned for a good ten minutes. But, most everyone else seemed to like it.

Originally Posted by Kromm

Again, caveat ludor. If you came to my game and expected orderly rows of rulebooks, neat notes, funky props, and a bunch of people sitting around a big table, clutching character sheets and dice, you'd be badly disappointed. You'd find people sprawled over couches and comfy chairs in a tableless room in a college-kid-style apartment, with me seated on a cushion on the floor, surrounded by a sea of papers and dice. My games resemble something akin to coffee klatches with games and the occasional beer. I'm more late-night talk-show host – with asides, dumb jokes, and then "Seriously . . . No, no, but seriously . . ." – than some gripping storyteller.

For years, I gamed similaraly to this. I had countless issues with focus. For my groups, I've discovered that a table (even a coffee table) seems to help with the focus. I'd love to know how you can maintain focus in this environment.

And I'm not saying "you must be focused on the game at all times!" That just doesn't happen. But, when people are sprawled out on couches they seem to relax much more and are more easily distracted. And much harder to get back into the game.

[Ragitsu]

Sounds like a horror story.

[Kromm]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

I'd love to know how you can maintain focus in this environment.

I don't especially value focus during social activities in my downtime, to be honest. Maybe I hung out with too many arty bookworms, bookish art kids, weird guys who ignored me to strum on guitars, acid heads, pot heads, and other kinds of stoners, but during my formative young-adult years, I came to associate focus with precisely three things: school, work, and formal events (e.g., graduations and funerals). For me, "gaming as work" is what I'm playing games as a break from, so that leaves school and formal events . . . and gaming isn't either of those for me. I quite dislike being kept to a plan or a schedule during my downtime; to relax, when I take time off, be it an evening or a week, I do "whatever" the whole time unless I've made formal social plans (and there's "formal" again).

Of course, there's personality to consider. I'm cyclothymic and see gaming as a productive way to channel my hypomania, so "focus" for me means burning energy on creative endeavors instead of on unproductive things. I consider it a win if I can use my crazy to make the game fun. By contrast, I have almost no traces of ASD behavior, which I realize is more common among gamers, and my brain simply doesn't run to obsessive focus. I should add that I'm open about this with people. It isn't as if gamers get invited to play with me and learn about this the hard way. It's why I mostly game with friends . . . the "I'm only here for the game" outlook is doomed to failure around me, so total strangers with only gaming in common with me would hate my games.

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

But, when people are sprawled out on couches they seem to relax much more and are more easily distracted. And much harder to get back into the game.

I don't expect from others anything I can't manage myself, so this isn't an issue for me. I consider gaming night a win if everybody gets to hang out, socialize, etc., and if a story moves at least a micron toward completion. I don't especially care if it takes me seven years of weekly play to tell the story, which describes my last campaign.

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by Kromm

Of course, there's personality to consider. I'm cyclothymic and see gaming as a productive way to channel my hypomania, so "focus" for me means burning energy on creative endeavors instead of on unproductive things. I consider it a win if I can use my crazy to make the game fun. By contrast, I have almost no traces of ASD behavior, which I realize is more common among gamers, and my brain simply doesn't run to obsessive focus. I should add that I'm open about this with people. It isn't as if gamers get invited to play with me and learn about this the hard way. It's why I mostly game with friends . . . the "I'm only here for the game" outlook is doomed to failure around me, so total strangers with only gaming in common with me would hate my games.

I have the streak of OCD that's usual in professional copy editors, and I have traits that could be taken as a shadow syndrome of ASD, though I haven't been diagnosed. I have several players who are on the cyclothymic spectrum, but I don't seem to have any of that; my cohabitant used to complain (humorously) about people like me who have adequate serotonin.

Bill Stoddard

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by Kromm

I don't especially value focus during social activities in my downtime, to be honest.

I agree that I game to avoid work . . . heck, I work to be able to afford to game!

Your description seems to mesh with my experiences. If we’re all kinda sprawling out people are more prone to drift and lack focus. When we’re at a table . . . well, let’s be honest, we’re gamers so we’re never terribly focused, but it does help. I don’t assume that I’ll have everyone’s attention 100% of the time, but when I need it, I like to ensure that I get it.

Heck, on Sunday, I was trying to fix my laptop while gaming. I do admit, and apologize to everyone else involved, that I wasn’t terribly focused until I got my laptop fixed. But, I wasn’t terribly focused knowing that I was going to have to fix it anyway, so I started working on it. The moment I got it working properly again (and managed to stabilize Gummi’s wireless network long enough to get to the net for updates), it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I was able to relax and game effectively.

Also . . . the more comfy I get, the more prone I am to fall asleep. Not because I lack sleep (some days, but not often) but because sleep is another one of my hobbies.

[Kromm]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

Also . . . the more comfy I get, the more prone I am to fall asleep. Not because I lack sleep (some days, but not often) but because sleep is another one of my hobbies.

Whereas in my case, sleep is just an annoyance that I don't need when I'm hypomanic (common) and can't get while dysthymic (rarer). In 30 years, I'm not sure I've ever fallen asleep during a game, whether as a player or as the GM. I'm that annoying fidget who just has to stand rather than sit still, who talks all the time, and who gesticulates wildly, sending his eyeglasses into your forehead. I sometimes suspect that I focus my players because they're afraid of the maniac and/or can't sleep around his nonstop chatter.

Oh, and to bring it back on topic: My habit of drinking things like quadruple-espresso iced coffees whilst gaming doubtless makes all of the above more pronounced. I approve heartily of coffee during gaming.