Sympathy for the Weasel

[martinl]

"The Human Chief's soldiers had scattered the Hobnail Legion, the Elfins had murdered the Warg Brotherhood, and the Dwarven Scum had broken into the depths of the fortress from underneath and injected multiple hobocidal strike teams into our most secure rear areas. Ssymm had fled, the siege beasts had fallen, and the Dead had all been banished back to Hel.

As blessed night finally fell, the accursed pinkskins settled down to plan the dawn assault. We were too spent to mount any credible counterattack. All seemed lost.

Then the Ice Weasels came."

-from the chronicles of the Red Star Tribe

It seems that there are more ice weasel fans than I expected, and I accidentally hijacked another thread with my own warped enthusiasms. Please use this thread for all of your ice weasel related needs.

[martinl]

Initial offering to our weaselly idols:


Ice Weasel Shield Maiden

Some Ice Weasels are just a little ... different. They seem a little more clever. They seem a little more organized. They seem a little beefier, have long platinum blond braids, trill Ice Weasel Opera ... and tote large spiked shields emblazoned with rampant weasels.

These are the infamous ice weasel shield maiden team, and if they catch you traversing an icy alpine slope they will shield rush your sorry posterior right off the side of the mountain.

Treat as ice weasels with the following differences:

• Lose Quadruped and Wild Animal (you may replace latter with Party Animal if you are so inclined)
• Increase ST to 7 and IQ to 10
• Reduce Move to 3 (medium enc)
• Add shield skill at 16, a spiked large shield, Weapon Master (Shield), and the Shield Wall Training Perk
• This gives them a block of 11, but reduces their dodge to 6. (These become 14 and 9 after DB.)
• Full speed shield rush is at skill 16, 1d-3 base, -2 for a slam, +2 for WM&Skill, +2 for speed, +3 for a large shield and +1 for a spike for a total of 1d+3 (and -3 to opponent's return damage). If they have you on precarious footing, they will all out attack for 1d+5.
• Codify the "Weasel Adrenaline Overdrive" advantage, that allows an ice weasel to add +2 damage and armor divisor 2 to a weapon attack or +4 and armor divisor 3 to a bite attack for 1 FP.
• Add the "Ice Cold Slaver" advantage, which allows an ice weasel to coat a weapon with ice weasel slaver using three ready maneuvers. This makes it an icy weapon for the next attack.

Ilse, Ingeborg, Brunhilde and Olga (etc.) are able to reliably knock less beefy delvers flat, and even the tougher delvers are not safe. Once you are down their lesser, but still vicious Ice Weasel boy toys can swarm you when you are prone, riding you like a toboggan as you slide down the mountainside, viciously chomping on your most sensitive hit locations all the way down.

Don't worry, at your funeral we'll say you were slain by Ogres.

[martinl]

Originally Posted by Kromm

I believe that playable ice weasels are a basic right for gamers.

It seems that ice weasel PCs might be a thing folks want.

It seems generally doable, using the familiar template in GURPS DF 5, but I see some issues with the trademark weasel chomp is hard to port in unless you make it a fixed damage attack. If you do pull it in this way it is pretty weak sauce for a DF delver at 26 pts. Making it a more generalized and simpler ability is warranted IMHO - removing it would of course be wrong.

I'd prefer something along the lines I put in "Weasel Adrenaline Overdrive" for the shield maidens (maybe minus the generalized armor divisor - seems like it's asking for trouble), so +2 damage to most attacks, +4 damage to bite attacks, for 1 FP.

Then make the AD(3) and freezing for chomp apply generally to bites since 1d-4(3) isn't scary and it greatly simplifies things.

However, built this way we are talking even more than that 26 points, just for the striking ST. Any clever thoughts?

[martinl]

Ice Weasel Heeler

Some Ice Weasels are more ... ice weaselly than others. They may a little more clever. They may be a little more graceful. They harbor a hypertrophied adrenal gland and an unholy fondness for the tasty tasty tendons of delvers.

These ice weasel "heelers," as they are known, are experts at ambush and heel chomping. Amateur ice weasels chomp feet. Poseur ice weasels sever achilles tendons. Heelers steal them.

Treat as ice weasels with the following differences:

• Ditch Wild Animal (you may replace it with Kleptomania (tendons) if you are so inclined)
• Increase DX to 17, IQ to 10, and PER to 15. (This gives +4 to listed combat skills, increases move to 7, and dodge to 10.)
• Increase stealth to 22. Add Traps at 14 and lock picking (using clever weasel claws) at 17, just because. Acrobatics at 15 for acrobatic dodges.
• Add expert backstabbing 10. With stealth 22 and the ability to hide in your boot, they will probably ambush you.
• For backstabbing the chomp is 1d+5(3) cut. Heelers will preferentially go for the foot hit location, all out attacking for an extra +2 damage if the situation calls for it. If they manage to dismember the foot, and they have good odds at that damage, assume they have stolen the achilles tendon. This has no game mechanical effect outside of the usual, but they are very very smug about it.
• Once a target falls down due to chronic tendon shortage, a heeler will usually move on to another target. If there are no upright targets left, however, hands and necks are good backup sources of tendony snacks.

Nipper, Toebiter, Shoewrecker, and the other heelers are not as glamorous as Inge and her shield maiden compatriots, but they serve the same purpose in ice weasel society - they bring giant unweaselly predators to the ground, where their less talented compatriots can deal with them more easily.

And don't worry about those tendons - you probably didn't need them anyway.

[martinl]

Ice Weasel Iceweasel

"Look, it's very simple - imagine you're an orc, and you think the local humans really pale, so you call them 'Milk Men.' Then you discover they have folks dedicated to bringing milk to their houses, and in their language they are called 'Milkmen'. Would call them 'Milk Men Milkmen?'

So the slick weasels deliver milk? I thought they delivered ice?

...

Yes Rigby, they deliver milk. That's why we call them Iceweasels. Now please go guard the supplies."

Ice weasel iceweasels are a response to perhaps the greatest challenge to Ice Weasel World Domination - the fact that there are parts of the world not covered in ice. Initially a much more ambitious project hoping to initiate a premature fimbulvinter, the ice weasel grand pooh bah had to scale back the project when she realized that basically all ice weasels have ADD at levels that would preclude in depth study of of magic in any other civilization. Still, with diligent effort, repeated whippings, and regular sacrifices to the Great Ice Goddess, some progress was made. This progress is embodied in the ice weasel iceweasels.

There is currently lots of debate about the best way to refer to these bloodthirsty little ... druids (ish) in the delver community. Scholarly folks prefer 'iceweasel' as it is true to their name for themselves. Blunter warrior types prefer 'slick weasel' since it works as a jibe against their more naturally weaselly companions, and for some reason said weaselly community prefers 'frosty bois'. Bards are currently pushing 'double weasel' as a sort of meta joke, but admit that this depends on the bookish name to be funny, so is unlikely to stick. This just makes the name even more appropriate in their eyes.

Treat as ice weasels with the following differences:

• Lose Wild Animal, replace it with Compulsive Sacrificing
• Increase IQ to 12, add druidic power investiture 5, and add 6 points of energy reserve
• Most have a ice blue jewel on a silver chain around their neck. This is an ice jewel worth $500, and a 5 pt power item - it is generally 25 degrees colder than ambient, but will melt to water if ever stored at a temp higher than 55 F of subjected to 5 or more points of fire damage. Total available FP is 25.
• Add naturalist, religious ritual, hidden lore (ice spirits), esoteric medicine and lichen lore, all at 13
• As ice druids, all 'ice' spells are kosher. They always have frostbite at 15, plus...
• 'Ice Slick,' a variant of Grease based on ice, at skill 20. (Main differences are that 1. Hobnails etc. work just fine, but 2. It can be used to cancel ongoing burny spells in the same area)

Slick Billy, Stone Cold Steve, and Refrigerator Jerry are most valuable when ice weasels wander from their ideal terrain, go on a deep penetration mission, or when some smarmy pinky neutralizes their terrain adaptation advantage. They work with with their buddies Svenga and Caltrop to ensure properly horizontal foes for their fellow weasels to swarm over and chomp to death.

If you're not starting to worry about the weasels' plans you're not paying attention.

[martinl]

Ice Weasel Popper

Round and round the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel
The weasel gave the signal to the snipers
Pop! goes the monkey's eyballs

If ice weasels respect any delver type in any way, it is scouts. Their cheerful way of scampering around while sociopathically pumping arrows into the eyeholes of anything with eyeholes just appeals to the ice weasel soul ... and well, weasel see, weasel do.

Ice weasel poppers are perhaps the first ice weasel weapon of war that isn't focused on knocking opponents to the ground so they can be easily swarmed. Somehow the weasels came up with something worse. You go weasels!

Treat as ice weasels with the following differences:

• Lose Wild Animal and Quadruped, replace it with Compulsive Popping
• Increase IQ to 10, Per to 15, DX to 17. Increase speed and move to 7, dodge to 10, and existing DX skills by +4
• Add Heroic Slinger, Weapon Master Sling, Whipcord Elbows (as Strongbow, but for sling), Weapon Bond, and Striking ST 2
• Add acrobatics 16 (acrobatic dodges), sling 22, and fast draw (ammo) 16
• Have a "weaselly" sling, which is like elven for bows, allowing an extra +2 effective ST
• 25 balanced silver coated[1] lead bullets (+1 skill +1 dam x2 range), 5 balanced meteoric bullets
• When rapid firing with heroic slinger at the eyes, they attack every round at skill 23 and do 1d+4 damage (1d+3 for meteoric). Range is 66/110 yds. If the odds with range are 12 or better, they will target the eyes (or chinks over the eyes) of the most obvious threat. Will fall back to targeting least armored part of their foe.

Boo (for some reason they are all called Boo) wants to pop your eyeballs. She has goods odds. Hope you didn't need those later.

[1] Silver coated is not likely to be useful against delvers, but the weasels like it.
The weasels will see ya later.

[johndallman]

"North of the Fjord is the Ice Weasels' territory. We must never go there."

[martinl]

Originally Posted by johndallman

"North of the Fjord is the Ice Weasel's territory. We must never go there."

I may have delved a little too enthusiastically into the dungeon of permanent weasel-inflicted crippling. However, given the cricket noises I am hearing on this thread, I think I am going to end it here. Not much interest, and I'm sure if Kromm really wants ice weasel delvers he can handle it.

[Apollonian]

FYI, I've been pretty entertained by the Ice Weasels. They make an appearance in my DF campaign... assuming I ever get a fourth season in...

[johndallman]

Indeed, this is good, funny material. I don't run DF, but Ice Weasels will show up in my D&D campaign this summer.