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Old 07-11-2021, 04:54 PM   #1741
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Melissa: “Can my bees do anything to help?”
Raquel: “Have them sting the horses—make them go faster.”

--

GM: “It’s fantasy lava, not real-world lava.”

--

Raquel (OOC): “Technically, he takes damage, but at this point the bees are just desecrating his corpse.”

--

Melissa: “Can I bee-fibrillate her?”

--

GM: “Daska, your eyes flutter open.”
Daska: “I was having the worst dream—oh [excrement]!”
Raquel: “We’re on the clock! Get up!”

--

Melissa: “I also have this unluckiness bee, I can use on them.”
Raquel (OOC): “Daska doesn’t need that.”

--

GM: “That guy . . ..” (rolls a 16)
Raquel (OOC): “Almost needs to roll on another table.”

--

Dranara: “I really want to punch him in the [male bits].”
Raquel (OOC): “That’s at minus three, so, nine minus, and if you roll a ten, it hits his torso.”
Dranara: “Okay.”
Dranara rolls a 4.
Everyone: “OOOOOH!”
GM: “Critical hit to the [male bits].”

--

Raquel: “He doesn’t have [male bits].”
Dranara: “Good to know. But, I don’t want to put my hand in the lava.”

--

GM: “You smash into him.”
Raquel: “Like a vengeful god.”
Dranara: “It was the [male bits] punch—it empowered me.”
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Old 07-25-2021, 03:44 PM   #1742
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Short session today:

Raquel: “I’ll bring up my light spell.”
GM: “It’s light all round you; it’s a bubble of lava.”
Daska: “Yeah, it’s glowing red.”
Raquel: “Yeah, and I don’t have an air spell.”

--

Melissa: “My bees can’t lift me, right?”
GM: “At this point you are completely at the mercy of Daska’s dice.”
Raquel: “We’re doomed.”

--

Daska: “I will gingerly touch my new hood ornament.”

--

GM: “You can just rip it off, like a bandaid.”
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Old 07-26-2021, 02:53 PM   #1743
johndallman
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Location: Cambridge, UK
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: "Kurtz is still cross about breaking his new +3 bow the first time he used it."
Rama: "I gave him a spare mundane one, but it's not the same."
Hamsa: "It's a placebo."
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Old 08-08-2021, 05:04 PM   #1744
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Raquel (OOC): “I’ll just blow all of her points on a one-use-ever Jumper advantage.”
Daska (OOC): “You’ve had the ability to go home all along. Just click your stripper heels together.”

--

Melissa (OOC): “You pretty much had to burn your shoes if you left them outside in Arizona.”
Dranara (OOC): “I can’t think of a reason why you’d leave your shoes outside.”
Raquel (OOC): “I can’t think of a reason why you’d want to go to Arizona.”

--

Melissa: “I’m going to have an intense training montage with my bees. It’s the Rocky theme, but it’s all kazoos.”

--

Cataphract: “You seem capable of taking care of yourselves.”
Raquel: “Yeah, looks can be deceiving.”

--

Raquel: “I do have teamster, at twelve, and I can talk to the horses.”
Daska: “I have it at eleven, and I can also talk to the horses.”
Raquel: “Yes, but the horses can understand me, and talk back.”
Daska: “Well, now you’re just splitting hairs.”

--

GM: “Daska, you know, that a Warlock has been given their power by pact with greater power.”
Daska: “Yeah, we’re both figuring that out.”
Raquel (OOC): “You’ve been chosen by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada . . ..”

--

Daska: “Yeah, I’m good at taking direction.”
Raquel: “Well, one of you is going to have to take over leadership duties when I go home.”
Daska: “We’ll have a talking horse by then.”
Raquel: “Well, dealing with you guys is like herding cats, so maybe when the cat comes back he can lead.”

--

Raquel: “If you want honey, we’ve got an unlimited supply.”
Melissa: “It’s organic!”
Raquel: “By definition . . ..”

--

Daska: “We can take some of the coals from the fire and shove them up our nose!”
Raquel: “Ugh. No.”

--

Melissa: “I fell in lava once, I have an immunity.”
<beat>
Raquel: “That’s not how that works . . ..”
Daska (OOC): “Is that the name of this session?”
Melissa (OOC): “That’s the name of this campaign.”

--

GM: “There’s a non-magical glow from up at the top of these stairs.”
Raquel: “What color is the glow?”
GM: “Orange.”
Raquel: “Guys! I think that guy just burst into lava.”

--

GM: “You can shoot your bee-bee gun at that magma elemental.”
Melissa: “I feel bad for my bees . . ..” (rolls) “Nope. 15.”
Raquel (OOC): “So, the bees are fine.”

--

Melissa: “I’m really getting fed up with all this ‘the floor is lava’ shenanigans.”

--

(After rolling a 4 for a critical, then a 17 on the critical table)
Raquel: “I’m really glad those rolls weren’t reversed.”
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Old 08-09-2021, 04:25 PM   #1745
William
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
Daska: “We can take some of the coals from the fire and shove them up our nose!”
Raquel: “Ugh. No.”
Had a thought once for an anti-smoking commercial that basically had this as a punch line. A caveman invents fire. He calls his buddies over and they excitedly talk about all the things they can do with it, like cook food and frighten off animals. Finally one says, "Ooh! Ooh! We can light things on fire and put 'em in our mouths!" Other cavemen look at him like he's an idiot, cut to footage of someone lighting up a cig. "They know it's stupid..."
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Old 08-10-2021, 07:37 AM   #1746
Fred Brackin
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

I'm afraid all of these are out of character.

"So you're telling us this is a Death Metal group called Romek Mazur and the Ghost Knights?"

"To expand your window grab the bottom right corner and pull. No, not that bottom right corner. The fringe beyond the bottom right corner."

"That doesn't expand the text size!"

"Um, get a bigger monitor?"

"I'm going to get my 83" TV and plug it in."

"What do you mean? Double left click and right click aren't the same things!"

"Um sorry. I accidentally closed out the combat map when I was trying to click on something else. Can you re-share it?" <twice with 2 different players>

"I hate this program!"
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Old 08-10-2021, 09:28 AM   #1747
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
Daska: “We can take some of the coals from the fire and shove them up our nose!”
Raquel: “Ugh. No.”
Now, to be honest, there was a lot of near-hysterical laughter before I said that (I’m Daska). We were talking about making charcoal filter masks. And after a beat, I added “or is that not how that works?” still laughing.

Out of context and everything, but sometimes ya just gotta explain stuff. Sorry. Please continue.
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Raquel: “That’s not how that works . . ..”
Daska (OOC): “Is that the name of this session?”
Melissa (OOC): “That’s the name of this campaign.”
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Old 08-11-2021, 01:56 PM   #1748
johndallman
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cambridge, UK
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Phil: "Browl comes with Animal Handling, Knot-Tying, Esoteric Medicine, and so on."
John: "He's your swiss-army henchman."
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Old 08-12-2021, 10:54 AM   #1749
ericthered
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Location: far from the ocean
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Empress-To-Be:"oh, you meant actual monkeys!"

GM: "You don't get to see any monkeys until <Chief-Guard*> fails some rolls"

Blind-Warrior-Princess: "How fast do rumors travel in the palace?"
GM: "What kind of rumors?"
Blind-Warrior-Princess: rumors like, say, 'A monkey bit someone's face off'"

*Chief-Guard is a PC
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Old 08-28-2021, 08:26 PM   #1750
Fred Brackin
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Where's Eric?

He couldn't make it. He had to work. He's promised to shout "Dwarves!" at random intervals.

You know if he has the office to himself?

Where's his character?

His Druid turned hmself into a cat and failed a Will save.

How are we going to get past those guard and their undead dogs?

How do undead dogs smell?

I cast Hold Person on those 2 guards.

The first one saves but te second one rolls an 11. He does get a new Save every round though.

I cast Grease on those squares where the first guard is.

The first guard fails his Dex Save and the second guard rolls another 11 v. Hold Person.

The first guard finally makes his Dex Save and runs over to the second guard trying to wake him. The second guard rolls another 11.

I cast Grease again now that the two guards are together.

The first guard fails his Dex save. The second guard does not need to roll v. Grease but the first guard rolled so badly he dragged the second guard down with him. The second guard rolls another 11 v. Hold Person.

The first guard makes his Dex save and gets up.

I cast Gust.

<later>

I cast Grease on the top of the stairs.
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