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Old 10-17-2023, 02:38 PM   #4861
Christopher R. Rice
 
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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My choices seem to be "Work as usual, go crazier" or "Let work take second place, recover." Psychologically or neurologically (the test can't tell), I'm what's often called a highly sensitive person, so even if my list strikes others as lots of minor stuff adults are supposed to take in stride, it's overwhelming for me. I find one big problem I can attack far easier than 10 nuisances that most people wouldn't even notice.
I know how that can feel. :-(

I hope you get a chance for some rest over the holidays at least.
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Old 10-17-2023, 03:10 PM   #4862
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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The trouble with a bunch of little problems is its harder to focus on solving the issue since there are multiple issues.
It also increases the odds that you'll have at least one can't be solved. For instance, my long COVID, my partner's current health problem, and my mother's current health problem are all in the realm of "treat the symptoms, not the cause."

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Also you just feel like it shouldn't be a big deal and hence may not give it the attention it deserves.
I suffer badly from that.

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It gets even worse if your support structure sees just the one issue and blows it off or doesn't offer you the support as they only see that one rather than the long string that is wearing you down.
My "support structure" are all people currently experiencing issues of their own.
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Old 10-18-2023, 02:30 AM   #4863
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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My choices seem to be "Work as usual, go crazier" or "Let work take second place, recover." Psychologically or neurologically (the test can't tell), I'm what's often called a highly sensitive person, so even if my list strikes others as lots of minor stuff adults are supposed to take in stride, it's overwhelming for me. I find one big problem I can attack far easier than 10 nuisances that most people wouldn't even notice.
I don't think there's any value in judging someone else's list. Mine would probably bore everyone, for example. It's all completely valid for the person involved and the only take away needed is to understand that it's real and the impact is real and if you can help, offer and be ready to help and hope they realise that it's OK to ask for that help if they need it or want it.
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Old 10-18-2023, 07:58 AM   #4864
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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I don't think there's any value in judging someone else's list. Mine would probably bore everyone, for example. It's all completely valid for the person involved and the only take away needed is to understand that it's real and the impact is real and if you can help, offer and be ready to help and hope they realise that it's OK to ask for that help if they need it or want it.
Exactly. There's no prize for convincing others that you have a worse life than somebody else – it isn't a contest. The "Kids these days! In my time, we had to walk uphill both ways in the snow!" attitude is an attempt to make a contest out of stress and difficulty. I cannot abide such a "your life must be at least terrible to merit empathy" stance, nor can I see anything but spite in treating the hardships of some people as less valid than those of others.

Understanding that stress is an individual thing – relative to each person's experiences and current place in life, not absolute on the scale of all of human experience – is essential to solving one's own problems and having empathy for others. Of course, part of that empathy is not demanding from others more than you actually need.

By the numbers, I'm not poor, starving, cold, or in danger. I am, however, enormously stressed. This is why I'm not sticking out my hand for material support, only hoping for the emotional kind. In my personal context, that's what's worth the most, even if it would seem trivial to those who think in absolute terms and mock, "Poor baby! Imagine if you were in [insert pet bad situation here]."
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Old 10-18-2023, 08:22 PM   #4865
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

Eloquent and accurate as always.

I'm not much of a "thoughts and prayers" kinda guy, but "understanding, acknowledgement, and empathy" I offer all I have.
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Old 10-18-2023, 08:59 PM   #4866
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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he "Kids these days! In my time, we had to walk uphill both ways in the snow!" attitude is an attempt to make a contest out of stress and difficulty.
Not always. For instance when I say it, it's as a joke.

Frex: The internets aren't good enough? Kids these days have it easy, why when I was their age I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to troll people on BBSes...
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Old 10-19-2023, 12:23 AM   #4867
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

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By the numbers, I'm not poor, starving, cold, or in danger. I am, however, enormously stressed. This is why I'm not sticking out my hand for material support, only hoping for the emotional kind. In my personal context, that's what's worth the most, even if it would seem trivial to those who think in absolute terms and mock, "Poor baby! Imagine if you were in [insert pet bad situation here]."
Yeah, a few things we say at the VA hospital. Meaning patients, not staff.
"Any day you wake up is a good day"
"Someone always has it worse than you"
We offer each other support and respect in the waiting rooms and halls, sometimes specific actions like "Do you need help or wheelchair, etc." and other times its just generic support.
But we all feel like we belong to each other.

The gaming community is kinda like that too, or most hobbies. You share something and though we are different and have different issues we have one thing at least in common. Its a looser brotherhood than some but still a shared joy and part of life.

So I will chime in with this.
A lot of people have enjoyed your work as an author and the effects you had as an editor on making other authors better. Also the authors have benefited from your advice, patience, and extra efforts.
Leading to another thing I feel is important. If the world is a better place, even a little bit and even for just one person, much less many, than you had a good life and legacy.

We all have it hard, some more often than others, some less so, and some handle it better. But the journey makes us who we are and in the end its how you deal with it that makes the difference.


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Not always. For instance when I say it, it's as a joke.

Frex: The internets aren't good enough? Kids these days have it easy, why when I was their age I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to troll people on BBSes...
I mostly do it for fun. Kind of sarcasm among friends, or teasing to be more accurate about it.
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Old 10-19-2023, 12:09 PM   #4868
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

Best wishes, Kromm. Hope you've been able to destress a little this past week.
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Old 10-19-2023, 12:33 PM   #4869
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Default Re: So, how great is Kromm anyway?

All the best for you, your partner and your support system from here over the pond, too.
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Old 10-20-2023, 08:41 AM   #4870
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New entry posted in the GURPS thread of my DW.
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