Memorable Quotes.

[Tommi_Kovala]

"Well, it's very hard to choose between Hitler and Stalin"

-Urho Sulonen (Joel's PC), when questioned about his background before immigration

[Mark Caliber]

Needs some setup (and hasn't actually happened yet . . .)

Setup:
PC is a Cidi, a small arboreal furry rodent like alien standing about 6-8 inches in height.

On a discussion involving long term relationships (with a bit of a language barrier.)

Cidi: "We don't actually 'get together' until we have a . . . 'Clutch Union' I think would be the translation. I think you humans call it 'Getting Mortgage.'"

[Mark Skarr]

This was actually just said here at work:

Ellen (To Cammy): "I've come to the conclusion that you and Ham are twins."
Cammy: "What? We looking nothing alike."
Ellen: "Camster and Hamster."
Me (ducking under desk)
Cammy: "Whatever, 'ET.'" (Ellen's last name begins with 'T' and she hates being called "ET")
Me: "You brought that on yourself."
Ellen: "Yeah, I'll go back to my desk and sit down."
Me: "I almost warned you, but if Cammy hadn't thought of it by then, she would have."
Ellen: "Oh, so you were doing that telepathy thing with her, then."
Me: "No, I have no telepathic powers. I'm telepathetic: I can be pathetic at a distance."
Cammy: "Yeah! And I don't have ESP, I have ESPN!"
Me: "It's like ESP, but a whole letter better!"

[Rocket Man]

Ran a horror game the other night in which the PCs got into a desperate battle in a dark basement. As the battle came to a close, the child prodigy of the group came to the top of the stairs, regarded the situation and said the immortal words:

"Um, guys, did anybody think to look for a light switch?"

Watching three hyper-capable players suddenly blink in stunned disbelief was worth the entire evening.

[Sumner Kai]

Player: "What do you mean I can't warp backwards?"

Same Player: "To Be, or Not to Be." when he is playing a Klingon. He has lost a Klingon Hero, a really cool K'Vort Bird of Prey, and a war with the Romulans on each respective night that he quoted Shakespeare....

GM: "You wake up..."

GM: "That is a touch spell. Who are you touching?"
Player: "I touch myself."
Rolling on the floor ensued...

Player: "I hide the diamonds!" (from his roommate)
GM: "Where? Roll vs. Perception"
Player roles...Six...Six...Six...
GM: "Hmph. Under your roomate's pillow it will be..."

Me: "Pick a bad number on a D6 and ROLL IT."

[Bruno]

Quotable, from the game last night (all said out of character...)

Player1, reviewing his character sheet: "... since when has my character had 'a full beard and sweater-like chest hair'?"

Player2: "I don't know, when did you write your description?"

Player1, handing character sheet to Player2: "I didn't write this! Look, it isn't even my handwriting."

Player2 reads the character sheet.

Player2: "It's the same handwriting that wrote your size-modifier is 'Hairy'."

Player1: "It's WHAT?"

GM: "Sweater-like... are we talking a sweater-vest here, or right down to the wrists?"

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by Bruno

Quotable, from the game last night (all said out of character...)

Conversely, this was in character:

Blake, an Ishtar in a Transhuman Space setting, is feeling restless and unable to focus on her current case on a Friday evening. Her AI suggests that she might consider actually going out physically instead of just logging on; when she's receptive, the AI reminds her of The Lighthouse, a women's bar she visited a few sessions ago. Blake walks over there, sits down, and orders a drink.

One of the other women there comes over, sits down next to Blake, and makes social overtures. Blake gives a weird mixed reaction, partly flirtatious and partly hostile (the player made both the Sex Appeal and Intimidation rolls). The other woman says, "You look like you want to hurt somebody." When Blake nods, she asks, "Would you like to come home with me?"

Blake says, "Why?" (pause for several seconds) "Oh!"

All the other players spontaneously applauded the perfectly timed delivery. And after having her AI check the local S&M reputation networks, Blake accepted the invitation and found her first venture into that sort of recreation a success: she gave a convincing performance of ferocity but inflicted no serious damage.

[Þorkell]

The setup is that we were playing a sword and sorcery game. The PCs were a Grey Mouser inspired Rogue (played by me) but who's not important in this since he had been turned into stone. A blind staff wielding guy and a Nordic fire elementalist. We had invaded an abandoned villa behind which we found a statue which had an appropriate aura of Evil and/or interesting. Anyway we faced a cyclops and a medusa. I short order the medusa turned me and the elementalist into stone and all that was left was the blind guy, who somehow whacked the medusa.

He then walks over to the elementalist and the blind PCs player asks:"Is he still rock hard and hot?"

The game resumed a few minutes later.

[al_kenobi]

Originally Posted by CaptainSkip

So many, this one was fun though...

Brawny warrior PC to freshly captured trollkin apprehended skulking around the party camp...

Heroic Warrior: All right own up. The Mad Sultan sent you here to kill us right?

Quaking trollkin: Oh no, kind sir we are but scouts!

Heroic Warrior: Butt Scouts? Hey guys we've captured the Mad Sultan's Butt Scouts!

And the puns, oh god don't get me started on the puns...

That's priceless!! I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything.

[al_kenobi]

One of my friends was making a saving throw in a D&D game a while back and the die rolled across the table and rested against a book at an angle.

Glen: Made it!

Me: But the die is cocked.

Glen: Yeah, but it's a good cock!

Play resumed several minutes later.