Memorable Quotes.

[RogerBW]

Originally Posted by johndallman

Player: "It's a bad sign when your party has less sense of self-preservation than a pack of lobsters."

Oh, be fair. They were IQ6 genius lobsters.

[Fred Brackin]

"What kind of weapons do these guys have?"

"They are equipped with M-W-K Cutlasses."

"You mean they were made by the famous swordsmith Martin Wuther King?"

"I thought he was a pacifist?"

"That only keeps him from _using_ swords."

Later.....

"These are Highland Dwarves."

"Does that mean they have katanas hidden under their kilts?"

[Disliker of the mary sue]

So I'm playing dnd and we figure we should go ask for quest, the dwarf tries to smooze some rumors out of the barkeep and rolls a 4..My Halfling wanting to sort of try to do this more smoothly also tried to roll for info gathering, I roll a 19 and shout "I got a 19 what does that give me: or something along those lines. The Dm rules I said that in character and says the barkeep looks at me funny. I think I justified these things as I was a little rough in my speaking common.

[Rocket Man]

Originally Posted by Fred Brackin

Later.....

"These are Highland Dwarves."

"Does that mean they have katanas hidden under their kilts?"

"There can only be one ... and he's really, really short."

[johndallman]

Not a quote, but an amusing moment. The party has recently added a Frenchman, who is very fond of good wine and food. It also includes an eighteenth-century naval officer, who is used to living on "salt horse and ship's biscuit."

The party were planning supplies for a lengthy hike. The officer kept coming back to ship's biscuit, which none of the rest of the party really consider to be food. The player of the officer was getting confused by this, until I served some out, and he discovered just how hard it is.

[Fred Brackin]

Another one from yesterday's pirate game.

"My name is Cardad."

"Ah, I've heard of your father, Carfax. He was a famous Oracle."

"Oh Mighty Carfax, reveal unto me the secrets of my Father's Cutlass!"

"This is not your Father's Oldsmobile."

[Disliker of the mary sue]

Hm a couple more moments from my campaign

When the dwarven bard ask for request for songs my Halfing said this.

"Back in the village we hobbits had a nice little folk song we called Free Bird"

Dm:The gods smite you.

Another moment was when one of our party members were scouting ahead to look at the condition of a village with dark smoke and found a giant tree burning he tried to do a inspiration speech to save the tree after everyone just gave up. The mayor more or less just said, uh we got like fruit, tree cuttings, and seeds to replace the tree.

Then when we got to an Inn, I had my halfling stab all the walls in fear they could be monsters disguised as walls, and then when I realized I'd be too short to stab the ceiling, I just shot an arrow at it. The next morning I got out my ladder and took out the arrow, realizing later I could have just used that ladder.

[(E)]

During one game as the PC's had just finished sabotaging the enemies siege engines the GM got a phone call and was distracted for 10-15 minutes. when he got back the Players had the whole escape pre-planned. While the GM silently listens they rapidly go through their carefully worked out ex-filtration ........ "and then I jump off the bridge" is how each player finishes their part of the plan.

The GM rolls a few dice and just says "thud, thud, splat"

[johndallman]

"I need you to fetch me an Albert Einstein. Young enough to still be creative, but old enough for you to be sure of his brilliance."

[Anders]

"It's like a victimless crime... except there's a victim."