Memorable Quotes.

[johndallman]

Originally Posted by roguebfl

Given Athena (and Hera) where the Goddess the competed with Aphrodite over the "for the fairest" Golden Apple the GM just insulted 2 goddess

The GM was comparing influence in a particular society, not appearance. Aphrodite, with her distinctive style of thinking, views them as identical.

[Phantasm]

<Chelsea> "And now we match. The important thing is, if anyone asks us what the stripes mean, like if they're for some sort of cause or something? Never ever give the same answer twice."
<Mag> "That's a good idea." Mag stretches, and digs into the cheesecake. "Like... intergalactic penis day."
* Chelsea snorts cheesecake.
* Chelsea very carefully clears her airway before adopting the tone of voice of a concerned woman on a hearstring-tugging infomercial. "Millions of Tamaranians lost their penises in The Great Gelding, and live in misery because of it. But you can help. For the cost of a cup of coffee, you can help them get their ***** back."
* Mag snerks this time. "Oh my god."
<Chelsea> "Please," she continues in the same pleading tone of voice. "Won't you think of the *****? ...'cuz I know I am."


My players can get twisted.

[Fred Brackin]

Session 2 of Storm King's Thunder today and sometimes you find a new character's voice in odd ways. For example, I would not have guessed that my LN Monk would have any sort of aptitude for trash-talking but it showed up today.

Some examples:

(while shooting arrows at the boss Orc)

"Go away! You are disrupting our harmony and our property values!"

"Why are you stil here! Did you not understand my first arrow!"

(while boss Orc is pulling arrows out of his body and snarling at us)

"Boromir says Hi!"

(to orcs floating in the moat)

"Pro tip:As you meditate upon the duality of illusion and reality, that drawbridge you were trying to cross was the illusion part."

[Dalillama]

Session today, the PCs have been surprised by an armed group that isn't attacking yet.

Half-elf medic: "We don't want to hurt anyone! But we will!"
Bugbear: "I do want to hurt people; but I won't!"

[Mark Skarr]

“Lawyer”: “This is Heaven Sinclair, another of my clients.
Luna (OOC): “Client? She’s like his best recruiter.”
“Lawyer” (OOC): “It’s not like he wants to divulge his real position and relationship to Heaven.”
Luna (OOC): “Maybe ‘salesman of the year.’”
(Luna’s player also plays Heaven)

--

GM (OOC): “Would Luna get it if she knew the blonde’s name was ‘Lilly’ and she was named after her mother?”
Luna (OOC): “Nope.”

--

Troy (OOC): “Sometimes, something will fall and get stuck on the 2nd layer of the table, and I have to break out my VR gear to fix it.”
Billy (OOC): “That’s such a cyberpunk issue: having to go into VR to fix it.”

--

Manny: “Someone keep a tight rein on Leroy.”
Troy: “Someone get good with the pistol and we’ll strap a propane tank on Leroy’s back.”
Billy: “Who we blowin’ up and why?”
Troy: “You weren’t in the Panda Express.”

--

GM: “Yeah, the zombie sort of slumps into you.”
Troy: “I’ve got the shield so, I push him off. I mean, it’s Lexan, so it’s non-stick.”

--

Troy: “We need a phalanx. Some more of these shields and some pikes. Do a shield-wall here (indicated on map). Then have some people with . . .”
Manny (OOC): “Bazookas?”
Troy (OOC): “. . .. No. Not inside, thank you.”

--

Troy (OOC): “Yes. Science the **** out of these zombies.”

--

Troy: “Eleven points of cutting damage to the zombies neck and it’s not dead yet?”
Billy (OOC): “Is he now Nearly-Headless Nick?”

--

Billy (OOC): “I’d never heard the term ‘Strategic Reserve of Lego’ before today.”

--

Troy (OOC): “A machete isn’t an ideal weapon for a zombie.”
Manny (OOC): “Then why is it in all the survival kits?”
GM (OOC): “It’s false advertising!”
Jerrica (OOC): “Use the sharp end!”
Manny (OOC): “Fine, I’ll turn it around next turn.”

[Mark Skarr]

Eric: “I’ll listen closely to the police, he has no forensics training.”
GM: “You don’t need forensics for this corpse.”
Eric: “Oh? It’s been mauled?”
GM: “It’s bisected at the waist.”
Eric (OOC): “So, mauled . . . Darth Maul’ed.”

--

Chaos Coyote (OOC): “Poodles! I didn’t know I was dying. I mean, I knew I was on fire, but I didn’t realize I was dying!”
Mark Skarr (OOC): “Uh. . .”
Hand of Bobb (OOC): “Uh.”
Mark Skarr (OOC): “That’s normal. Two great tastes that go great together.”

--

Our regularly scheduled game got bumped, so I picked up, Superfight for TTS. It was hilarious. I will need to get the expansions.

Mark Skarr: “Okay, so, you’re Robin Hood, whose bottom half is a turtle. You’re fighting Bobb’s Nine-Foot tall Street Fighter. Your contest is . . . ARCHERY!”
Chaos: “I’m giving it to Robin Hood.”
Mark: “Yeah, me too.”
Bobb: “Yeah.”

--

Mark: “I have a catapult with unlimited livestock, you’re telling me I can’t find a chicken that can out-dance a turtle?”

--

Chaos: “Your Mr. Rogers with an infinite sausage lasso is now fighting . . . Darth Vader! With all the Dragon Balls!”
Mark: “Your contest is . . . Musical Chairs!”

--

Mark: “I can beat that Darth Vader! I have the ability to see three seconds into the future! And . . . I’m Chuck Norris.”

--

Bobb: “I’m pretty sure Stephen Hawking using a prehensile tongue to kick flip would be pretty rad.”
Chaos: “Better than a magical girl with no depth perception.”

--

Mark: “So, I’m Sakura, swinging a shark on a chain and . . . I’m a maid.”
Bobb: “Yeah, doesn’t really matter the contest . . . being a maid automatically powers up any Anime girl.”

--

Mark: “Rocket Launcher tag? Goku, man—he’s basically Anime Superman.”
Chaos: “And the fighters must have lengthy monologues before fighting.”
Bobb: “Yeah, got to give that to Goku.”

--

Perkidann: “We’re doing rhythmic gymnastics in LA traffic while skiing in front of an avalanche. What else can happen?”

--

Perkidann: “Our superhero name is ‘Bear Spray.’”
(for a Neurotoxin spraying Rambo as a side kick to a Tween Bear.)

--

Perkidann: “I gave up the being Terminator with a bag that has everything in the world to be a Vegan, in a meat bikini who can’t stop sobbing!”

--

Mark: “Hannibal is finally defeated by . . . Quidditch. Ironic really.”

[johndallman]

Clare: "Do we want to land the airship on the opera house? I'm not asking that. Of course we want to land the airship on the opera house!"

[L.J.Steele]

GM: The Energy Vampire grabs Gateway's grandfather and throws the old man at Diamond Jack.

DJ: That's a ranged attack? I could reflect it back at the Vampire.

GW: That's my grandfather!

DJ: OK, I'll catch him instead.

[johndallman]

"Where can we have the most fun while doing the least damage to reality?"

[ak_aramis]

Last Saturday's Pendragon game
OOC: "So, we really caught the Roman Emperor? How badly did we break the timeline?"