Alien Race Template Feedback

[awarnock]

Apologies if it seems like I'm spamming the forum, but I figured a different topic requires a new thread, so... ta-da?

Anyway, I've been working on some racial templates for a sci-fi game that I'm planning on running and I've gotten five of them in a state that I'm ready to get some feedback on. There are nine that I plan on having from the get go, which given the other options available should be more than enough. I'm mainly looking for feedback on how to make them more unique or reinforce the things that make them special and if I'm making them too bloated. For those interested, here's a link to the races as a Google Doc that you can comment on. I've also included the finished ones below if you really don't care to open up a new window/tab.

Syren (50 points)
Syrens are space elves from a cold planet that don’t take heat well. They tend to be imaginative, if distractible. They also have a love of and talent for sharing stories.
Attributes
+1 DX [20] B15
+1 Per [5] B16
-1 HT [-10] B15
Advantages
Acute Vision 3 [6] B35
Acute Hearing 1 [2] B35
Extended Lifespan 1 (Early Maturation 1 (Mature at 18 years)) [2] B53
Flexibility [5] B56
Night Vision 5 [5] B71
Perfect Balance [15] B74
Talent: Syren Storyteller [5] B89

Skills:

Dancing B187
Musical Influence B210
Musical Instrument B211
Poetry B214
Public Speaking (Storytelling) B216
Singing B220

Voice [10] B97
Disadvantages
Vulnerability (x2, FP Only, Common (High Temperatures)) [-15] B161
Features
Hardcore fantasy fans often compare them to elves.
Comfort zone is between 20°F - 75°F
Early Maturation 1 (Mature at 18 years)
Appearance
Long, pointed ears that can be at any angle between vertical and horizontal and are between 3 to 5 inches long
Black, blue, silver, or violet hair
Dark grey scarela with blue, gray, green, or white irises
Pale skin with a tinge of blue to pinkish skin
Average five feet to five and a half feet in height

Morsk (50 points)
Morsk are armored, space-raptor warriors. They have a tendency to look down on most other races, with softy being a common word for any non-mosrk.
Attributes
+ 2 ST [20] B14
+ 1 HT [10] B15
+ 5 HP [10] B16
- 1 IQ [-20] B15
Advantages
Claws (Sharp Claws) [5] B42
Damage Resistance 3 (Hardened, Armor Plates, outside) [18] B46
Damage Resistance 2 (Flexible, inside) [8] B46
Hard to Kill 1 [2] B58
High Pain Threshold [10] B59
Striker (Long (+2 SM), Cannot Parry, Clumsy (-1 to hit)) [11] B88
Teeth (Sharp) [1] B91
Universal Digestion [5] B95
Disadvantages
Code of Honor (Warrior’s) [-10] B127
Hidebound [-5] B138
Bad Temper (9) [-15]
Features
Comfort Zone is between 35°F - 90°F
Find normal humanoid chairs uncomfortable
Often mistaken for dinosaurs by the ignorant
Appearance
Thick plates over a thick, tough hide
Plates are brown, black, and gray
Skin is red, brown, black, tan, or gray
Eyes are black, brown, or gold with slitted pupils
Hands and feet have sharp claws
Average about five feet tall with four-foot long tails
Code of Honor
Never back away from a challenge.
Treat honorable opponents with honor and dishonorable ones with contempt.
Never show fear.
Respect strength and dismiss weakness.
Never let an insult stand unchallenged.

Orm (50 Points)
The Orm are a race of friendly, eight-legged, otter-esque beings with a knack for engineering and mechanics. Most of them claim to have sarcasm as a defense against stupidity.
Attributes
SM -1
+1 DX [20]
-2 ST [-20]
-3 Basic Move [-15] B17
+2 Basic Move (Temporary Disadvantage: No Extra Arms, -20%) [+8] B17
+1 Basic Move (Temporary Disadvantage: No Fine Manipulators, -30%) [+3] B17
Advantages
Amphibious [10] B40
Breath-Holding 1 [2] B41
Catfall [10] B41
Double-Jointed [15] B56
Extra Arms 4 (Short) [20] B53
High Manual Dexterity 1 [5] B59
Perk: Compact Frame [1] PU2:13
Perk: Fur [1] B101
Prehensile Toes [4] B53
Disadvantages
Chummy [-5] B126
Short Arms [-10] B53
Skinny [-5] B18
Features
Comfort Zone is between 25°F - 80°F
Two foot long tail
Whiskers
Appearance
Black, brown, gray, or white fur
Large, dark eyes
Otter-like head and limbs
Raccoon-like paws with thicker fingers and webbing between them

Maki-liki (50 points)
Very attractive, green-skinned humanoids with uncanny situational awareness and very sensitive skin. They are among the best pilots in the galaxy, though most are only aware of those that make big names for themselves, such as Salacious V.
Attributes
+1 DX [20] B15
+2 Will [10] B16
Advantages
3D Spatial Sense [10] B34
Acute Touch 3 [6] B35
Appearance (Handsome/Beautiful) [12] B21
Improved G-Tolerance [5] B60
Talent:Maki-Liki Talent [5] B89

Skills:

Acrobatics B174
Boating/TL B180
Driving/TL B188
Free Fall B197
Navigation/TL B211
Piloting/TL B214

Disadvantages
Low Pain Threshold [-10] B142
Reputation (Risque behavior and being flirts, -1 from most people, -3 from “moral guardians”, +1 from people with Lecherous or Flirt) [-8]
Features
Two antennae used for their spatial awareness that act as erogenous zones
Comfort Zone is between 35°F - 90°F
Appearance
Large eyes that can be blue, violet, gold, brown, or green
Skin can be varying shades of green, blue-green, pine-green
Black, blue, red, or violet hair
Two antennae that come from their forehead, just below the hairline
Otherwise, look like humans.

Crish (50 points)
Big, hulking brutes with long, powerful arms; a nose to make bloodhounds envious; and sunny dispositions. Many of them have a passion for food and cooking.
Attributes
SM +2 B19
+3 ST [24] B15
+2 HT [20] B16
-1 DX [-20] B16
Advantages
Acute Taste and Smell 2 [4] B35
Damage Resistance 3 (Flexible) [12] B46
Discriminatory Smell [15] B49
Discriminatory Taste [10] B49
Disadvantages
Ham-Fisted 1 [-5] B138
Klutz [-5] B141
Very Heavy [-5] Custom Disadvantage
Features
Comfort Zone is between 35°F - 90°F
Voice is deep and booming
Low sexual dimorphism
Appearance
Tall (up to 9 feet) and broad (3 feet at the shoulder) with big bellies and barrel chests
Blue, gray, green, orange, red, or yellow skin
No hair
Small eyes
Long thick arms
Short stumpy legs

Yddluc (50 Points)
Maniacal megalomaniac furballs that want nothing more than to rule the galaxy, or be the ones serving the the ones that rule the galaxy. Fortunately for everyone else, they are utterly inept at it.
Attributes
SM -2 B19
- 4 ST [-40]
+1 DX [+20]
+2 HT [+20]
+5 HP [+10]
Advantages
Fur [1] B101
Pitiable [5] B22
Unfazeable [15] B95
Regeneration (1 HP/12 Hours, Heals Radiation - 10 Rads/12 Hours) [14] B80
Regrowth [40] B80
Disadvantages
Megalomania [-10] B136
Reputation (Maniacal, Megalomaniac Furballs, -4 to Reactions, Recognized on a roll of 10 or less) [-10] B155
Stubbornness [-5] B157
Unluckiness (Once per session, something slapstick will happen to you) [-10] B160
Features
Comfort Zone is between 35°F - 90°F
Voice is high and squeaky
Low sexual dimorphism
Tail
Appearance
Three feet tall on average
Black, brown, orange, red, or white fur with different patterns
Large black eyes
Looks like a giant pom-pom with eyes, a mouth, arms, legs, and a tail.

Minion Lens (-25 points)
Replace Megalomania with Fanaticism [-15] B144
Remove Unfazeable
Delusion “My master will one day rule the galaxy!” [-5] B130

Hmmn (50 points)
Tall, gray skinned aliens with no sense of humor and an unsettling gaze.
Attributes
SM+1 B19
-2 ST [-20] B15
+2 IQ [40] B16
Advantages
Doesn’t Sleep [20] B50
Hyperspectral Vision [25] B60
Intuitive Mathematician [5] B66
Long Arms [10] B53
Long Legs [10] B54
Photographic Memory [10] B51
Unaging [15] B95
Disadvantages
Clueless [-10] B126
Killjoy [-15] B140
Low Empathy[-20] B142
No Sense of Humor [-10] B146
Unnerving Gaze [-10] Custom Disadvantages
Features
Comfort Zone is between 35°F - 90°F
Monotone voice
Hairless
Conspiracy theorists are attracted to them, like moths to cold, logical flame.
Appearance
Seven-feet tall
Long spindly limbs and digits
Gray skin
Black eyes


I'd like to thank Mailanka and Jose for their help on the GURPS Discord Server and if you haven't already, check it out.

Custom Disadvantages
Custom Disadvantages to fill in some holes that the Disadvantages didn't quite cover.

Heavy -3 points
You have approximately 2x the average weight for your ST. You get -3 to Disguise – or to Shadowing, if you are trying to follow someone in a crowd. However, the extra mass gives +3 to ST when you resist knockback.

Very Heavy -5 points
You have approximately 3x the average weight for your ST. You get -5 to Disguise – or to Shadowing, if you are trying to follow someone in a crowd. However, the extra mass gives +5 to ST when you resist knockback.

Unnerving Gaze -10 points
You unsettle people just by looking at them. It could be that you’re eyes look dead and glassy, like a doll’s, or that they are a soul drinking black deeper than any void. Perhaps you have a red glow in your cybernetic eyes that is ominous. In any case, people are unnerved by your gaze. In any situation where you can see someone and they can see you, they react at -2 to you.

[robkelk]

Hmmmmm... I see you have Space Elves (Syren), Proud Warrior Race Guys (Morsk), Intelligent Gerbils (Orm - the term applies to any alien that acts like any terrestrial animal, not just gerbils), and Green-Skinned Space Babes (Maki-liki)... I see why you want to make them less cookie-cutter.

You've already played with the trope for the Orm - they aren't bipedal. Take a look at the trope descriptions that I linked to and make a few changes that will fit your campaign setting. Do the Maki-liki live up to the reputation you've given them, or is that just wishful thinking on the part of humanity? Is there a noticeable minority of focused or single-minded Syren? Do the Morsk conform to the stereotype and look down on their scientists, or do they treat science careers as just as valid choices as combat careers? And so on...

[awarnock]

Don't forget the Crish who are basically a race of Big Guys crossed with Big Eaters, but that may not have been as clear.

I can answer the question about the Maki-Liki and it's no, they do not live up to the reputation, or at least most of them don't. The idea I had in my head, but had trouble conveying in a quick elevator pitch, was that most of the really famous Maki-Liki to the Galaxy at large ruthlessly used their sex appeal, grace, and voices to climb the celebrity ladder and then stay there. This was typically done with risque behavior and dress, suggestive dances, like the tango, and "scandals" that were designed to titillate and keep them in the spotlight. Most Maki-Liki resent that reputation almost as much as they resent their occupation by the Ascended. It doesn't help that the Ascended encourage the spread of that reputation to undermine the efforts of the Maki-Liki to free their homeworld. I guess you could say it's a little of A and a whole heaping lot of B.

The Morsk, well, I think the short answer is no, they don't treat their scientists that way. They have a clannish structure and as long as you are able to protect yourself and help the clan, they respect you. If you can't however...

I'd have to think more on the Syrens. Part of my problem is that their a darling. I've had them bouncing around in my head in one form or another since I was in junior high (2002-2004) and I've never had to really nail down how they differ from humanity beyond the cosmetic things. The Morsk have been around just as long, but their current incarnation came about junior or senior year of high school (2006-2008), and part of this incarnation's culture has always had a strong clannish vibe, which may have been why they are so much better defined in my head than the Syrens.

I hope this isn't sounding defensive. I just thought that laying out my thoughts would help in getting things nailed down.

[awarnock]

Sorry for the double post, but I've made some changes to the Syren template.

I've removed Ambidextrous and added Charisma, Voice, and a Racial Talent. This has bumped the cost of the template from 16 points to 41 points.

[robkelk]

Originally Posted by awarnock

...
I hope this isn't sounding defensive. I just thought that laying out my thoughts would help in getting things nailed down.

You aren't sounding defensive at all. Talking out the ideas and reasoning behind them is part of the feedback process.

Hmmmmm... For the Morsk Code of Honor, you might want to change "Never back away from a fight" to "Never back away from a challenge". That would let their craftsmen and scientists attack particularly difficult problems the way their soldiers attack particularly difficult enemies.

[awarnock]

Updates to the Crish and Morsk templates. I've also added the Yddluc template with a lens.

Thanks robkelk for the suggestion about changing fight to challenge.

Six down, three to go, then refinements. :)

[awarnock]

Decided to make racial templates 50 points even since things were kinda congregating there anyway. Edits are in the first post. I also got the Hmmn done and started on the Hnnm. I've also added some custom disadvantages because I need them to fill in some gaps. The Crish, for example, aren't fat so much as solidly built and heavy. I've come up with some disadvantages based on Fat and Very Fat that remove the HT limit and bonus to swim for being Fat/Very Fat, but kept the bonus versus knockback.

You can view and comment on the work in progress templates here. Any feedback is not only appreciated but welcomed with a huge hug because I really need someone else to sanity check these.

[PlumedSerpent88]

It seems that the Crish, judging from the listed height, should only be SM +1. Either way, its ST doesn't seem high enough- the guidelines under Growth say that an SM +1 humanoid should have 15+ ST, and 25+ ST at SM +2.