Memorable Quotes.

[Perssek]

It was more like a string of quotes, only made memorable by the whole situation that made it arise. It was our first Vampire: The Masquerade game, and a GURPS one, at that. The PC team was a very ecletic one: a Gangrel, his ghoul girlfriend, a Tremere and a Brujah (I guess). They were in a car, during mardi gras, and started a discussion among themselves that ended with a flash-bang grenade being blown in the car and with the Gangrel going on full rotschrek frenzy, drinking his girlfriend ghoul to the bone.

As soon as he recovers, he goes crazy over her and tells the others to drive to a hospital (at gunpoint). They left him at the hospital's door, and got the %$# out of there. The Gangrel then goes into the emergency section, screaming that his girlfriend (covered, as him, in blood) was hit by a car and was dying. The put her into a stretcher, and start looking for wounds. They don´t find any, because the gangrel had lick shut them. He goes "oops!" and says "oh, god, it´s in her leg, look the size of that hole!" when the doctors and nurses look at the leg, he extends a claw, punctures her belly, licking the finger very quickly and goes "oh, sorry, my bad - it´s in her belly, after all".

He is told to wait, sits down and asks the desk nurse for "a menu - no, sorry, a magazine, you please. By the way, do you have a blood bank around here? With ATM?"

The game couldn´t return for almost half an hour. Every time we remembered that we had to stop and laugh.

[Prof. Á.]

This quote is from my first campaign ever. :)

The PC's have all received a scroll from their new friend Emerald, which have teleported them to a campsite in an undisclosed location. Upon arrival, she told them to wait here with a boy called Phobos, who is actually a (friendly) Tentacled Horror. "If you ever need me, just call my name"- says Emereld, then she flew off.

The players later tried to summon her by crying out her name aloud. She didn't come back.

Even later, after a small fight with Phobos, he took out a moblie phone, and dialed 555-MRLD. The players were surprised and groaning.

I was excepting this reaction. My campaign note about it was "WTF moment".

[Anders]

"A Tie Fighter? What does he do - strangle you with it?"

[The Colonel]

Not an RPG quote, but from a naval wargame session:
"Twenty-seven inch torpedoes?" <holds hands about two feet apart>
"That's not very long..." <laughter from other players>

[Witchking]

RPG quote:

Sann Arkis Me Invisible mage variously doing Staff and Spell
Lord Tyrius Semi Crazed Post Up Fighter
Enemy (name Rank) Female

Tyrius: "Invisible Demon SUCK OUT HER SOUL!"

Arkis <whine> "But its FATTENING."

Lady Goggles....and runs about 2 rounds later...

[Cyratos]

I had this very interesting situation with players playing final fantasy setting. There were 5 of 'em in the group. They went to temple of Leviathan, which was actually a massive labyrinth, and they split into 3 groups. 2 of 'em, white mage and blue mage, went to the left side of labyrinth, to solve one mystery.

A fighter went to middle and done nothing.

And the dragoon and the black mage went to the right to find a mechanism with a compass and a lever. They didn't know what to do, so the dragoon gave him a "brilliant" idea.

Dragoon: "Hey, what about that Break spell you learnt about 2 days ago? Maybe it will work!"
B.Mage: "Well, you are pretty smart, that REALLY is a good idea!"

And so the black mage cast Break spell on a very delicate mechanism. I really didn't know what to do except to declare that both of 'em just earned 0 points in total for that session.

[Blood Legend]

Fighting a homogenous demon with no facial features:

Me: "I carved it an eye socket when I couldn't find one to stab"


Another game, town elders went bad so Panzerfaust loudly proclaimed: "I wanna stab old people."

Originally Posted by Koshka

That Player: Hey, it's not me, it's the targeting system on this gun.

I haven't laughed geniuinly outloud in the longest time, give this man a cookie.

[Cyratos]

While playing Demon Hunter campaign, we had so much of laugh... amongst others, here's one of the situations.

A character, hereby named A, enters the church in Boston, in which he knows he must tell the secret password to a priest so he can venture to the catacombs, where Demon Hunter organisation is.

The password was "The Revelation has begun.", but A just couldn't remember it, so it went something like this.

A: Um...hello.

Priest: Welcome, child, have you come here to confess?

A. Uh...no. I just wanna pass trough the door thing you have there.

Priest: I have no idea what do you speak of, my child. Are you on drugs?

A (histerically): NO, GOD DAMN IT!

Priest: *achem* (points at the cross)

A: Err... sorry. I forgot the frickin' password... uh... Revolution is starting, Rebellion has begun, Rampage is on, uh... that **** that is mentioned in the Bible... y'know... COME ON, lemme in, I've been there before!

Priest: Fascinating vocabulary.

A: Yea, I know... argh, that's not the point, just lemme in, I can't remember it!

(another player enters the church)
B: The Revelation has begun.

Priest: It has begun indeed.

(B enters the secret passageway, while A stares furiously)
A: Right. Revelation has begun.

Priest: You forgot the definite article "the".

A: (freaks out)

[BLloyd607502]

A PC Seargent with a Insubordinate NPC Soldier:
Sarge: "Right, now you go do Track Circuits until I say to stop."
Corp: "With all due respect sir, you and what army?"
Sarge: "..." *Huge Grin Splits his face, he walks over to the Corp and puts his arm around his shoulders* "I'm Glad you asked that. Come with me for a second."
(Takes him over to one of the close combat fighting rings)
Sarge: *Stands opposite him* "Right, hit me."
Corp: "...What?"
Sarge: *Still grinning* "Go on, hit me as hard as you can, right on the chin."
Corp: "...You're going to do something arn't you?"
S: "No Corporal, hit me as hard as you can, go on, free shot at your commanding officer..."
C: "...You know I'm a sniper and can't hit for S*** and then you're going to smack me back."
S: "Well if you're more comfortable with it go and get one of the Stun Guns" (They're used in ranged combat training and kick like a mule)
Other NPC Soldier: "Er...Sarge, I don't think that's a good Idea..."
S: "It's fine, we're at point Blank, he's armed, it's during training and there's no way he could miss me..."
*C returns*
S: "Well, go on, shoot e if you're going to."
C: *Raises the gun and aims at him for a second then looks at him (Still griining) and lowers it and slings it over his shoulder* "I think I'll save my bullets for the enemy Sarge."
S: *Nods and walks over to him, takes the gun from him and goes and puts it back in it's box very carefully, then walks back over to C, grabs him by his lapes and holds his face about 0.0001 mm from his own* "Right, glad we got that out the way, now remember this, until you have the balls to beat me until I die of concussion, shoot me until I die of massive blood loss, the enemy gets me or I get transferred I am your God Damn Sargent and you do what I say When I say it...Got that...NOW GO DO GOD DAMN TRACK CIRCUITS!!"

[Dwarf99]

that was extremely well handled.