Favorite Gnomco Products

[martinl]

Gnomco Adventure Seeds ™

Plant one of these babies in the ground and just wait overnight! They will grow into an exciting adventure!

Roll 1d6:

1. A large tree with a root-lined passage under it leading to a lost dungeon of yore. Or maybe of your id. Gnomco is not responsible for rampant symbolism.
2. A yard-thick herbaceous stem rises into the sky, where an adventure awaits in the clouds. Don't fumble that climbing roll!
3. A hedge maze filled with mystery, minotaurs, and magic. Also mayonnaise for some reason. The mayonnaise is delicious.
4. A small bush with 7 ominous red fruit, 7 perfect yellow fruit, 7 rough skinned green fruit, and 7 spiky black fruit. Eat one to be gifted with power, guided to enlightenment, and geased with a quest.
5. A ground hugging vine grew huge gourds which have burst from the inside. The former contents of the gourds are now ravaging the countryside.
6. A dandelion. Four huge dragons surround it, each facing out at one of the cardinal directions. The dragons will protect this small flower with their very lives. Ask them why, we dare you.

Do not combine Gnomco Adventure Seeds with Gnomco Campaign Promise Grade Fertilizer.

[martinl]

Gnomco Moose Magnet ™

When you bear this 5lb stone moose-shoe on your person, the GM will replace half of your random encounters with moose of similar theme. For example, an encounter with orc raiders might be replaced with aggressive pillaging moose, doomchildren with explosive demon-moose, and iceweasels with micromurdermoose. Hopefully, the GM will not want to stat these up on the fly and you will have fewer random encounters. [1]

[1] Gnomco is not responsible for vengeful GMs or any associated swarms of Dracomoosepiretitans.

[Anders]

Mana Compass

This compass points towards the closest area which has a higher mana level [1].


1 Gnomco denies all rumors that this compass attracts magical monsters.

[Black Leviathan]

Gnomeco Load Stone

These fantastical ore ingots harvested from the floating isles are an old gnomish secret for lightening packs and chests. Sewn into the flap of your pack or the lid of your chest they reduce the weight carried by 10lbs per stone. Note: Gnomeco does not take responsibility for items lost do to unsecured containers in high winds. Wt 9lbs per stone.

[Black Leviathan]

Originally Posted by martinl

Gnomco Light Sabre™

Weighs only 80% as much as a regular sabre! [1]

[1] When parrying, treat Gnomco Light Sabre as weighing 50% as much as a regular sabre.

[2] Makes patented "Vrrrrr" noise when drawn!

[ajardoor]

Gnomco[TM] Out-of-Disorder Sign

Avoid unnecessary random encounters with this [...]priced and [...]balanced accessory-slash-protection-charm-slash-two-handed-melee-weapon!

Simply hold the Out-of-Disorder Sign straight up with a firm and double-handed grasp, and its beautifully designed notice ("Adventurers at work! Do not disturb!") on the top of the pole will dissuade wandering monsters from attacking you and your fellows to the tune of a -1 penalty to the chance of a random encounter!

WARNING: Testing of this device implies the Gnomco[TM] Out-of-Disorder Sign should not be used as a fighting tool due to its distinct and fashionable shape interfering with proper combat technique and arm speed. Please note that user error beyond our control may result from fatigue due to excessive displaying of the Gnomco[TM] Out-of-Disorder Sign.

[martinl]

Gnomco Ear Strumpets ™

These small wax figurines depict attractive nude humanoids, and are the ideal size to put in one's ears. If a PC places a Gnomco Ear Strumpet ™ in each ear they will whisper ... things ... to said PC, giving them deafness, overconfidence, and lecherousness until they are removed.

Removing Gnomco Ear Strumpets is only possible with a successful Will - 3 roll. Gnomco Ltd. not responsible for any addiction to Gnomco Ear Strumpets.

[David Johansen]

No Bull

This fine, polished ebony container is capped with a brass clasp. Upon opening the container should be pointed at a bull, which will then be magically sucked in and vanish. The container comes with a certificate bearing our "no bull guarantee" in writing.

Gnomeco Box of Beef. This humble wooden box is packed with premium minced and smoked beef strips.

Gnomeco Leather Coat. This coat is made of premium leather at a fantastic price.

Gnomeco Leather Club Wear. Get in with the straps and studs crowd in these fantastic leather outfits. Embossed with many classic phrases like "WHERE'S THE BEEF" and "OVER TEN MILLION SERVED" comes with a bone d20.

Gnomeco Skull Cap. All the fashionable druids and shamans wear them. Genuine bull skull with intact horns, includes detachable jaw bone and nose ring.

Gnomeco Meat Pies. A delicious alternative to iron rations, the crust of these individually wrapped beef pies is made with beef tallow for extra beefy goodness. Pies may include, heart, tongue, kidney, and prairie oysters.

Gnomeco Bullhorn. Make yourself heard! Blowing on this hollowed out horn will bring aid in times of need. Made from a real horn. If it only brings more enemies you need to work on your social skills.

[martinl]

Gnomco 10' Pole ™

This huge winged mercenary is a fierce fighter who shows no fear. Gnomco guarantees that all of his tales of historical victories and triumphs are at least partially rooted in history.

Do not expose Gnomco 10' Pole to vacuum.

For unknown reasons, it is highly likely that Gnomco 10' Pole will be flanked by monsters with bonus levels in expert backstabbing very quickly after entering the dungeon.

Wings on Gnomco 10' Pole for decorative use only.

[tbone]

Originally Posted by martinl

Gnomco 10' Pole ™

I hear these are excellent tools for breaking sieges.

Do not expose Gnomco 10' Pole to vacuum.

Why is that? Gnomco Pole cannot into space?

(Also, does Gnomco sell the traditional 6' Pole?)