Memorable Quotes.

[Bruno]

He was also confused by the seafood-flavoured seaweed (also from the chip aisle) and the coffee soda (from the soda aisle naturally - ingredients: water, coffee beans, cane sugar, carbon dioxide).

It's like he's shopping in a different (and more boring) dimension. He buys chips and soda, so it's not like he's just skipping those aisles out of habit...

[Kunoichi]

PC1: I wanna seduce Ned.
PC2: Again? This is like the 6th time you've tried!
PC1: He's just playing hard to get.
GM: Contested roll, go for it.
(PC1 successfully rolls to seduce Ned)
PC1:YES!
PC3: You've got to be kidding me.
GM: Ok... well... Ana has finally succeeded in seducing Ned. They spend a night of passionate love making giving into their primal urges. As dawn comes you both collapse in exhaustion.
PC3: That didn't happen.
GM: Yeah. It did.
PC3: No it didn't. Take it back.
GM: I can't, you failed your roll man, it happened.
PC3: That's rape, she just raped me, what the hell kind of game are you running!?

[William]

This is why inter-PC social interactions should never be rolled.

[mlangsdorf]

Ystava is a minotaur barbarian; Beltarne is a dwarf cleric with magical boots of speed. They've just been ambushed by gargoyle bombers.

Beltarne: GM, can Beltarne and Ystava buy off a technique where he chucks me at flying things and I try to kill them with my axe?
GM: Beltarne: yes?
Beltarne: Awesome. Ystava, we have training to do.
GM: It's probably at massive penalties and stuff, and without regeneration the falling damage may be a difficulty, but...
Beltarne: We will find a way! Flubber, I'm thinking.
Ystava: He needs a feather fall spell for more hang time.
Beltarne: I already have the awesome shoes. Gonna have more hangtime than Mike.

[roguebfl]

The fastball special 8)

[Phantasm]

Originally Posted by roguebfl

The fastball special 8)

Always a classic. ;)

[The Benj]

Originally Posted by Kunoichi

PC1: I wanna seduce Ned.
PC2: Again? This is like the 6th time you've tried!
PC1: He's just playing hard to get.
GM: Contested roll, go for it.
(PC1 successfully rolls to seduce Ned)
PC1:YES!
PC3: You've got to be kidding me.
GM: Ok... well... Ana has finally succeeded in seducing Ned. They spend a night of passionate love making giving into their primal urges. As dawn comes you both collapse in exhaustion.
PC3: That didn't happen.
GM: Yeah. It did.
PC3: No it didn't. Take it back.
GM: I can't, you failed your roll man, it happened.
PC3: That's rape, she just raped me, what the hell kind of game are you running!?

Yeah, I'm with Ned on this one. That's not cool. Not cool at all.

[ziresta]

Dravenloft, in an IOU game, playing a Forgotten Realms dryad, answering "What do you do now?": "I attempt to seduce the Archdean."

Him again, playing a pixie barbarian in a dungeon crawl: "I'm going to try to tame the displacer beast using the default from Animal Handling (Raccoons)." (The pixie didn't realize it was a displacer beast. She thought it was just a weird, big cat. She wanted it for a mount.)

Both times I told him he could do it on a natural 3 (house rule in silly games, anything succeeds on a natural 3). Both times he rolled a 4.

"Slightly-off-kilter" scientist in the IOU game: "I know the female body inside and out. I'm growing one … two, actually."

Dravenloft, playing a Chaos worshipping priest and mage in a Basic D&D game: "Can we keep the charmed kobold for a pet?"

And, one of the same characters as above: "What happens if we eat the purple moss?"

The problem with the pixie barbarian being the party's scout became clear after she failed to spot a trap: "Oh, I was supposed to look at the floor?"

The player of the scientist, out of character: "It's not necrophilia if they can still move."

Someone in the dungeon party after the bard started singing a sarcastic song about how boring this dungeon was: "Do not taunt the dungeon."

Carnivorous lizardman in an I-SWAT game : "Nazis -- pretty tasty snack. Feed on a lot of meat. Sausages. Bratwurst."

NPC in a space opera game finishing a story as his wife came into the room: "And that is why you should never hire a five credit prostitute. Some of those diseases are REALLY painful. I learned that the hard way." (5 credits = 5 GURPS dollars.)

[The Mage of Macungie]

This dialogue involved my cousin's boasting goblin mage and my dwaven fighter who had the customary dwarven view of goblins and spoke Anglish poorly.

Goblin: "I am unique!"

Dwarf: " That's too bad. You're okay, for a goblin. Did some orcs catch you and do that to you?"

Goblin: "What? I said I was unique."

Dwarf: "Yeah. Unique, You can't have children."

Goblin: "NO!! Not eunuch, unique!! One of a kind!!"

Dwarf: "Yeah. Eunuch, last of your line."

[Mark Skarr]

Hero game on Sunday

Gummi (GM): (Describes an eerie cathedral that the party is going into and begins drawing it on the whiteboard)
Me: "M-I-C, K-E-Y" (as he draws two, enormous semi-circles on the sides)
Darque: *Laughs* "I was thinking that, too!"
Gummi: "It's not Mickey Mouse! I'm trying to build some atmosphere, here. (Continues drawing)
MonkeyFist: "You're right, it's not Mickey Mouse, you're drawing Dilbert!"
Gummi: "It's not Dilbert!"
MF: "Sure it is," grabs laser pointer. "You've got his mouth here (points to a line of mooks), you've got his glasses here (points to the support walls he drew) and you've got his ears here (points to aforementioned bulbous protuberances). Dilbert."
Gummi: GAH!

*

At the end of the session, after we've beaten the badguys and had just talked to our contact as they were gathering up the surviving members of the cult.

Gummi (as NPC): "Good job, Colt. Talk to Mr. Sommers about getting a new suit. That outfit is covered in blood."
Me (as Colt): "It's no big deal, sir. If a ruined outfit is all I have to put up with so that the good-guys can have a victory, it's but a small price to pay."
Darque (as Doug): "Take it, it's part of how we earn our retainer."
Me (OOC): *Laughs very hard* "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I have to do it."
Gummi (OOC): *Covers his mouth as he's already figured out what I'm going to do*
Me (OOC): "You got . . . PAID?!"