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#1791 |
Night Watchman
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cambridge, UK
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The party were using Walk on Air to cross a river to an island that's almost entirely occupied by a stockade. An alarm was sounded, and the resident lizard-folk started getting organised for a battle.
PC: "There's no need for this! We want to have peaceful relations with you!" Guard: "You're delicious!"
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The Path of Cunning. Indexes: DFRPG Characters, Advantage of the Week, Disadvantage of the Week, Skill of the Week, Techniques. |
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#1792 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Aya: “Never underestimate the power of stupid.”
-- Nica: “I’m aware. Something is not right.” Aya and GM (OOC): “What was your first clue?” -- Sister: “We do not have the bandwidth, the overhead, to track all of the homeless. What are we supposed to do? Tag and release them?” -- Nica: “It’s getting late. We can come back tomorrow.” <beat> Nica (OOC): “When it’s not so creepy.” -- (Back in her truck) Nica: “Oh, that was creepy as Hell.” Angie: “I’m glad that it wasn’t just me.” Aya: “I thought she was nice.” -- (After her truck crashes) Nica (OOC): “That was the loudest bowel movement I’ve ever had!” -- Nica: “Are there any parts that look important.” GM: “Make a robotics roll.” (Nica doesn’t have any robotics skill.) Nica: “Sure!” (Nica rolls a 3.) Nica: “NATURAL TWENTY!” -- GM: “You get there shortly before the sheriff and fire truck. And by fire truck I mean a truck with some drunk guys who have to pee really bad.” -- Angie: “Robo rednecks?” -- Max: “For my gun shop, does it have a name?” GM: “Not yet.” Max: “Can I name it?” GM: “Sure.” Max: “I’m calling it ‘Half-Cocked!’” |
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#1793 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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James: "We'll have to keep [Goodboy] away from me for at least a day, 'cause we're not sure how long my influence lasts."
GM (OOC): "ELEVEN DAYS!" (Hysterical Laughter) -- James: "[Goodboy's] name is Char." Mary (OOC): "Yeah, it's short for Charlemagne." <beat> GM begins laughing hysterically. (James' super identity is Charlemagne.) -- Mark: "Now we have generic standies and fallies." Perkidanman: "Standies and laymen?" Mark: "Um, yeah. Chaos: "We should always ask you for names." (Perkidanman comes up with the best names.) -- Nika: "We told the cops that the Rednecks did it." Angie: "Aren't rednecks the reason [stuff] gets broken in small towns like this?" Maxine: "Yeah, generally." -- GM: "What part of the robot do you bring?" Maxine (OOC): "The ro-butt." Aya (OOC): "The shiny metal [butt]." -- Nika: "I think I need to make a potato gun." Angie: "I think you need something stronger than a potato gun." <beat> Angie (OOC): "A vodka gun, now. . .." Maxine (OOC): "To me, a vodka gun is just code for a flamethrower." -- Maxine: "The creeples!" -- Nika: "I mean, if the police arrest us . . .." Angie: "We still have the right to remain silent. If we have the capacity remains to be seen." Maxine: "Know your roll--shut your hole." -- Nika: "Remember: if it's pointy, don't sit on it." Maxine (OOC): "I like to think that's our town motto. 'Welcome to Cactus Falls. If it's pointy, don't sit on it.'" |
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#1794 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Jasmine: "Okay, I'll try drawing 'how dangerous is the 'NWO' to Simon?'"
GM (Rolls): "You draw the intro to Men in Black." Jasmine: "I assume Simon is the MIBs?" GM: "No, he's the van." <Moment of remembering the movie.> Jasmine: "Aha." |
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#1795 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Toni: "Left. Left! Your other left. Look, you have two lefts and you've picked the wrong one . . . twice!"
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#1796 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Ork: "3.6 billion infamy liquid. What am I doing anymore?"
Mark: "Well, [ChaosCoyote] is poor again . . .." <Beat> Ork: "3.3 billion infamy liquid. What am I doing anymore?" |
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#1797 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Aneth: "Do I know anything about the Dragon Queen?"
GM: "Roll History." (Aneth crit fails) GM: "You are aware that the words 'dragon' and 'queen' fit together gramatically and logically; beyond that . . .." -- Ezme: "Carp? You named your son after a fish?" Qelline: "Aye, it's not unusual for a halfling to name their children after their favorite foods." Ezme: "Fair enough." |
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#1798 |
Join Date: Feb 2020
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Aneth: “At least your name isn’t ‘Creampuff,’ kid.”
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Raquel: “That’s not how that works . . ..” Daska (OOC): “Is that the name of this session?” Melissa (OOC): “That’s the name of this campaign.” |
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#1799 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
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"Is robot a gender?"
"Yes, but there are no non-binary robots." "Now we'll pick up where we left off last session with all the PCs completely dispersed through the enemy command ship." "So, what is your character doing?" "I ran out of plot seeds a while ago so I'm just quietly creating random chaos as a distraction to help the others." "You have discovered the Epsilon Dispersion Unit. What do you do now?" I make a temporary copy with the matter printer and then switch them." "Now that your character has acquired the Unlimited Vortex Exciter what do you do?" "I draw my energy sword and exit through the server room slashing at important looking things as I pass." "Ah, you have apparently accidentally activated the Evil Empire's anti-mutiny system that opens all the air locks at once." "So my enemy, are you ready to surrender and join the Ruby Energy side?" "No. Your mastery of destructive energies is impressive but your crystal energy awareness is lacking. For example, did you know that air lock behind you is about to open?<SHOVE!>"
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Fred Brackin |
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#1800 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Mark: "I mean, do you want a silver-plated crowbar?"
Chaos (slow laughing) Mark: "Okay, so, yeah, now that I mention it, you do." Chaos: "I got a thing against wererats." |
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Tags |
actual play, funny |
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