[Fantasy] Statting medieval humour-meme creatures

[Prince Charon]

The illuminated pages of medieval manuscripts have a lot of very strange creatures, mostly in the marginalia, and it occurred to me that there might be games (especially silly ones, but not only those) where having stats for them would be useful.

Examples include murderous rabbits (probably where Monty Python got the idea), dangerous snails, whatever this is, and some things that I can't link to due to being too sexual for this forum (or that aren't, but which I can only find images of on pages that also include human or near-human nudity; there are a few YouTube videos that cover this, but again, the ones that I can find keep having shots that make me reluctant to post them here).

The question of why they exist comes up on occasion; personally, my belief is as noted in the title - the same urge that now has people sharing humorous memes lead to medieval monks, scribes, and so on adding these drawings to the decorative illuminations.


Thoughts?

[Varyon]

Originally Posted by Prince Charon

Thoughts?

Wholehearted endorsement.

Taking a quick stab, the murder-bunnies look to be rather large. SM-1 appears the most common, although there are a few depictions that are SM+0 and one that is SM+1 (the one with the rabbit carrying a man over its shoulder). Most of them look to have reduced the default Horizontal Disadvantage to Semi-Upright, while a few have removed it entirely (and are basically just anthropomorphic rabbits, see GURPS Furries). Add the murder-bunny template to basically any human bandit character to make a ready-to-go friend or foe (probably the latter).

As for the giant snails, as we consistently see knights losing against them but no wounds on either, I'd say the snails' most notable attribute is sufficient DR and IT:DR the knights basically can't harm them, but the snails don't have much in terms of offensive capabilities, so the knights wear themselves out futilely banging on the shells. As for why the knights bother trying, perhaps the snails are really good at insults ("... Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"), or knights have Intolerance (Giant Snails).

As for the bird... Unfazeable, and either Daredevil or On the Edge (possibly both). It looks rather ballsy.

[The Colonel]

Originally Posted by Varyon

As for the giant snails, as we consistently see knights losing against them but no wounds on either, I'd say the snails' most notable attribute is sufficient DR and IT:DR the knights basically can't harm them, but the snails don't have much in terms of offensive capabilities, so the knights wear themselves out futilely banging on the shells. As for why the knights bother trying, perhaps the snails are really good at insults ("... Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"), or knights have Intolerance (Giant Snails).

Knights are French and hungry ;-)

[Varyon]

Originally Posted by The Colonel

Knights are French and hungry ;-)

I actually made a fairly roundabout stealth-reference to that in the post. But, yeah, those giant snails would make for one heck of an escargot dish, for those of us who enjoy that. Would probably clog your arteries with all the necessary butter, however - but then, maybe that's why the knights wear out so fast? Unfit from excessive consumption of saturated fats?

[Donny Brook]

I think the bird-thing is meant to be a stirge (a long-standing D&D monster based on a Greek mythical creature called a 'stryx'). Basically a vampiric crow.

[Stormcrow]

I also thought of the strix. Stirges is the plural form of strix. AD&D named its version stirge (plural stirges).

[Prince Charon]

Originally Posted by Varyon

As for the giant snails, as we consistently see knights losing against them but no wounds on either, I'd say the snails' most notable attribute is sufficient DR and IT:DR the knights basically can't harm them, but the snails don't have much in terms of offensive capabilities, so the knights wear themselves out futilely banging on the shells. As for why the knights bother trying, perhaps the snails are really good at insults ("... Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"), or knights have Intolerance (Giant Snails).

I vaguely recall seeing some images of snails 'holding' swords, with no visible means of doing so, so the snails being psychokinetic could account for both that, and for knights and apes and such loosing to them without having visible or obvious wounds.

Was thinking about the apes (often referred to as 'monkeys,' despite lacking tails) that occasionally show up in the margins (e.g. here), but I suspect that all that's really needed is to increase their IQ, add skills, and remove Bad Grip and Ham-Fisted. They mostly seem to be depicted as small, hairy humans.

EDIT:

Originally Posted by Stormcrow

I also thought of the strix. Stirges is the plural form of strix. AD&D named its version stirge (plural stirges).

OK, yeah, I can see that.

[ericthered]

Originally Posted by Varyon

As for the giant snails, as we consistently see knights losing against them but no wounds on either, I'd say the snails' most notable attribute is sufficient DR and IT:DR the knights basically can't harm them, but the snails don't have much in terms of offensive capabilities, so the knights wear themselves out futilely banging on the shells. As for why the knights bother trying, perhaps the snails are really good at insults ("... Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"), or knights have Intolerance (Giant Snails).

Cone snails (which are marine) shoot a poisonous harpoon out of their... mouths... I suppose you would call it. The venom is paralytic.

[Curmudgeon]

Given the presence of wattles and the apparent lack of wings, I'd be inclined to suggest that the bird-like creature is meant to represent a cockatrice. Granted, it doesn't look like the heraldic cockatrice from Fox-Davies but IIRC the creature's background from Fox-Davies correctly, this does look like something that would hatch from "if a basilisk lays an egg and can find a toad willing to nest over it, in seven years the egg will hatch, giving birth to a cockatrice."

[Prince Charon]

Originally Posted by ericthered

Cone snails (which are marine) shoot a poisonous harpoon out of their... mouths... I suppose you would call it. The venom is paralytic.

I'd forgotten about that (I think I saw it in a documentary, but it's been a while). Do we have stats for them?