Memorable Quotes.

[Witchking]

Originally Posted by mib2932

At Gencon Indy last summer, I was running an "Iron GM" session, with three sourcebooks (including Illuminati). So, anyway, the players were in 1950's Egypt, investigating a body that looked just like the US president, Ike. They decided to take the body back to New York with them. Went something like this:

Me: OK, it's easy enough for you to buy tickets for yourselves from Cairo to Berlin, then from there to New York. How do you plan on moving the body?

One player: (mumbles something incoherent) call UCS!

Me: (strange look at player)

Player: United Corpse Service

Have the tee shirt to prove it and everything... ;-)

Front
Back

LOL! ROFL!

Now I know were I want to work when I grow up...

[Mark Skarr]

From a GURPS MechWarrior planning session with MonkeyFist and I.

Me: Well, what happens if you make it move 8/12/8?
MF: *Plfth!* Then it can carry like five small lasers.
Me: That's no problem; that's assault 'Mech firepower.
MF: Mrnh?
Me: It's got the same firepower as a Charger.
MF: *starts laughing* Dude, that is SO not a selling feature!

[vicky_molokh]

Imagine:

A girl with spiderlike jaws is holding a giant bug, in the process of dissolving its insides.
A soldier approaches her and asks her to open up a bullet cartridge, "e.g. with your teeth".
She replies: "Don't ruin my appetite."

[SagaciousD]

I'm playing a multiclassed ranger/cleric of Fharlanghn (patron deity of travellers) in my friend's D&D 3.5 campaign. After our party is recruited by two peasants to protect their village (a la Seven Samurai), we are introduced to the burly barbarian NPC who's supposed to be leading our little posse. Said barbarian is viciously hung over.

When the barbie learns of my character's clerical status, he beseeches divine aid for his hangover. Without missing a beat, the Fharlanghite tells him to "walk it off."

That little quip earned me 50 bonus XP for roleplaying. =)

[mechgogo]

"She wants to destroy the world? But thats where I keep all my STUFF!"

[Blood Legend]

Not exactly a memoriable quote but an interesting story none the less.

My players had finally gotten around to collecting in one spot for the night so we could actually play. They were heading back down into a dungeon to finish off the cultists the local town had highered them to remove from their underground temple.

They get down there and the walls aren't exactly solid all the way through, it looks like a collection of beutrices and columns holding up everything. One of the players is a vampire so he turns into a bat to fly around and snuff out all the torches.

The others collectively roll their dice for stealth and begin hunting down nearby jerks. One of them even skewered 3 passerbys through the neck with the same arrow.

The bat finishes snuffing out all the torches and searches for the big bad boss himself. Something I planned for him to do so I could feed my players the next big McGuffin. "Yadda yadda, the secret treasure vault etcetera and so forth."
P3 (the bat): "I'm going to perch on the ceiling.
Gm: You find a nice root to cling on.
P3: What do I see?
Gm: A bunch of cultists kneeled down and listening to the head priest babble on about -insert McGuffin- Behind him are 4 body guards.
P3: I mind control one of them and order them to stab the closest person nearby.
Gm: ?
P3: I want to start a riot :D
Gm: Oh ok. Roll it
-Clacka clacka-
Gm: ...crit. Ok. One of the followers stands up and stabs the guy next to him in the neck.
P3: No not the followers, I meant the guard.
Gm: ...
P3: who was closest to the guard anyway?
Gm: ...the leader.

So an ST 20 four armed flesh golem juggernaught whips a very fine and recently sharpened halberd into the spine of his unsuspecting very powerful golem conjuring wizard master. With the spike end. There was enough impaling damage to sever him in half and fling his upper body into the crowd.

The following events transpired:
>_> <_< <_< <_<
>_(\ >O> >O>/)(\<O< AHAhahAHahahHAhaHAHa

Player 3 decides he wants more minions so he mind controls the second with another critical success. Now that the master is dead there's no real contest of wills because they're near lifeless husks of muscle and steel. So he basically gets ownership of this second one forever. He makes the first golem jump into the crowd, crushing 3 people when he lands, and whirlwind attacks some 90 other people packed together like sardines. This is when I began looking up the rules to see if there's any penalty at all after the first hit with a whirlwind attack. There is none.

So much blood D:

[pnewman]

So we just started a new 'Buffy' game this Sunday, using Edens Unisystem.

My character is a high school freshman witch with Down's syndrome, Judy. The party has just encountered their first demons. The 14 year old watcher to be, who has heard of demons but never seen one, goes "They're not human!" Judy responds "Want to borrow my binoculars, so you can see them better?" The whole group, including the GM, cracks up and Judy gets an extra Drama Point on the spot.

[ziresta]

Lyndsey, someone who thinks Han Solo flies cautiously: "Cool! We only missed that asteroid by a millimeter!"

After her passenger complained: "Okay, I exaggerated. We missed it by a whole meter."

And Lyndsey again, from a different session: "Yeah, I've got a plan. But I need a functioning ship first. Well, I have a functioning ship. I need functioning shields. I like my shields. They keep me alive."

[Phoenix_Dragon]

Can't believe I forgot to post these.

First one is from me GMing. Early campaign. After the PCs had started exploring some ancient elven ruins, and having already survived one trap (A badly-degraded deadfall-type trap), they started checking for more. So they look down the short, thin corridor leading to the rest of the underground structure, and ask if they see anything.

I roll as I always do, wether there's anything there or not, then look up and say:

"Looks clear."

Probably didn't help that we'd just seen Pitch Black earlier that weekend, but they didn't trust that. And it gets quoted regularly. Particularly any time someone tries to make a perception roll!

The second is from a friend. She had just gone through a gang neighborhood and had, somehow managed to clear an entire cul-de-sac of gang houses, down to the last member. Something like 29 people. In. Complete. Silence. Nobody outside the area heard a thing. Several people in the area heard something (Suppressed gunshots can be surprisingly loud in enclosed spaces!), but they were dead before they could pass that information on.

A second character followed in her wake, almost terrified of this coldly-efficient killer that had just done what normally takes several hundred rounds and multiple explosions in the movies. Someone made an out-of-character comment that she seems like a total sociopath. To which she replied, "She isn't a sociopath! She just doesn't care!" Which got us all laughing pretty good, and her grinning. (I think she had the coolest character of the bunch, myself. Ex-merc type.)

[Naryt]

Originally Posted by Phoenix_Dragon

A second character followed in her wake, almost terrified of this coldly-efficient killer that had just done what normally takes several hundred rounds and multiple explosions in the movies. Someone made an out-of-character comment that she seems like a total sociopath. To which she replied, "She isn't a sociopath! She just doesn't care!" Which got us all laughing pretty good, and her grinning. (I think she had the coolest character of the bunch, myself. Ex-merc type.)

Reminds me of one that crops up occasionally in various forms:

"I am NOT anti-social. I just DO NOT like people!"