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Originally Posted by Kromm
Yep. Grappling back is always an attack action. Until your foe does it, you're assumed to have him securely gripped whilst remaining unimpeded. This is a bit of a break from real life not because the rules are bad (they're fine) but because most gamers react to "He grapples you" with "I try to break free" and not with "I grapple him right back." But the latter is what happens 90% of the time in reality, and why people have trouble visualizing what grappling means in the game.
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I always assumed it was because "grappling" doesn't mean "I've got a hand on his collar", it means "I've got him controlled, so he can't get away and will have a much harder time fighting me".
Hence why it's good to grab the other guy
first.