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Originally Posted by Hide
Hello this is the first draft:
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Ok. looking the sheet over....
You haven't clearly indicated your "flavor" skills. 10 points should be spent on
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things you think your character would have that aren't relevant to his job. Current Affairs, Games, Musical skills, Sport, Connisuer, Area Knowledge and Hobby Skills are especially appropriate
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You were to have spent 20 points on "Job skills" to let you function undercover. You've spent points on the language and culture, and a few points in skills. I don't know what section your character is supposed to be undercover as, but I don't think they have high enough skill levels to qualify.
Engineer (starships) only gives you expertise to design the hulls and interiors of starships (excluding both drives, the power plant, sensors, weapons, shields, and life support). To maintain them, you need Mechanic (starships). Though your title could quite possibly be "Engineer", that's just title creep. They don't actually especially want ship designers on-board... at least not as enlisted men. Its low enough that it isn't really functional.
Which brings up the general lowness of his skills. His stats are pretty low. We've seen three other characters built in this game, and all of them had both DX and IQ at 14 or higher. You don't need to go quite that high, but right now this character can't pass the dreadstormer academy. These characters should be special forces guys who also have psi powers.
In particular, your acting skill is very low. This skill is essential, and all players have rolled against it multiple times. I cannot bring this character into the game with an acting skill of 10. But his skills are generally low. This is probably because your attributes are low.
Please list your advantages with their modifiers. On their own line would be nice, but not neccessary. For example:
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Innate Attack 1d6 (cutting) (melee C -40%, st-based +100%, no signature +20%, reflexive +40%, armor divisor 10 +200% = 310%)[29]
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This also lets me check your math: as seen above, we have some discrepancies. Also, You don't need reflexive on an innate attack. They don't need to be readied. You also probably don't need no signature on most of your abilities. Vibration sense and enhanced time sense get it for free.
Psi Powers should have a skill associated with them. You specified karate for the attack, but the vibration sense especially needs a skill. You can make up the name ("Slowed Observation"?) and make it a hard skill, or try to justify an existing skill (like karate). See skills from psionic powers page 5 or skills for everyone on page 162 of powers.
The cost on your trained by a master is way off, unless you've got some big modifiers on it.
Reliable on danger sense makes me raise my eyebrow... but with your per so low, it makes a bit of sense. We might come back to this, or might not.
Is your resistant to psi, or to drugs and toxins? please indicate with the advantage, along with the level.
You don't get to bring on any gear to the ship. No signature gear, nothing held out. They are very through, and the dreadstormer doctrine is not to contest those attempts. You also don't have the skill level of holdout to justify it.
That said, TK can work as lockpicks, you've got the power set, and as an alternate ability the ability is really cheap. a single point will get you TK 2, which is enough to pick some locks and do some delicate work. 2 points gets you TK 5, and 4 points give TK 10 as an alternate ability to your attack, which adds some pretty solid ability to your character.
Could explain what "The Order" that you have fanaticism to is? Do you mean the Dreadstormers as an organization, or something else?
correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this character is intended to dance through an enemy hail of projectiles while slicing through armor, possibly under the cover darkness. I've seen a similar concept in play before (but a very different build) and yeah, it can be awesome. I see the following problems:
The primary ranged weapon on board the ship is laser weaponry, which you can't block. This was done precisely because PK users can block bullets (though traditionally they use shields)
You don't have a way to block everyone else's vision. If you're not planning to block vision, why do you have vibration sense?
Neither Vibration Sense nor Dangerous Sense will let you leverage ETS to block bullets if you don't have a clear line of sight to them.
The whole build seems a little advantage heavy. You have Fit and High Pain Threshold and Eidetic Memory and Both Gunslinger and Trained by a master. Any one of those by itself adds a little color, but altogether they are eating up a lot points that are needed to beef up the attributes.
I'm a little concerned that you are expecting more combat and less sneaking than the rest of us. This game will have combat, but its also a heist story, with roots closer to Action than DF.