[sir_pudding]

Gnomco Prime!

Gnomco is proud to announce our revolutionary new product delivery service: Gnomco Prime. For a mere $150 per year, you can have instant delivery of the Gnomco products you need, when you need them, even in the deepest dungeons. Simply state your desires, and our dijigngn delivery specialists will match your needs to a manifestation of our wonderful products.

Payment for delivered products will be instantaneously removed from your wealth. In the event that funds are insufficient, Gnombanc will automatically loan them at 5% APR. Payments on this debt will conveniently be paid by instantaneous transfer of up to 25% of dungeon loot


If a subscriber or any member of the subscriber's party says anything that might generously be interpreted as a need that could be fulfilled by a Gnomeco product, that product will instantly appear. As advertised funds will be deducted from any money and/or valuables the subscriber owns. Insufficient funds will trigger a loan on the terms above, the 25% tax happens as soon as the loot is found, and comes from the total value.