[coronatiger]

Thoughts on May 23rd

Today was the day! The festival commenced with religious ceremonies for all the common deities. The god of orcs was not among them, much to Ilzo’s chagrin, and he went off to have a private ceremony.

Archery was the first discipline of the games. During the first three rounds, all we had to do was to hit the target in two tries. At five meters, I didn’t bother aiming. At fifteen and forty meters, I did aim; it wouldn’t do to get cocky and lose because of it. I only needed one arrow for each distance, but I had to borrow from the organizers, since using magic would get me disqualified or even arrested. In the final round, still at forty meters, we scored points according to how close to the center of the target we hit, and had three arrows to get as many points as possible. Only Va’lyndra and I participated from our party. Olivia doesn’t touch weapons, of course, and Ilzo’s ranged weapon of choice is a sling. Leopold doesn’t have any ranged weapons, as far as I know, and he didn’t seem very interested in any sort of competition. He kept Olivia company while I competed, but mostly had his nose in his notebook. Va’lyndra, on the other hand, is a competent archer, and got through to the final round as easily as I did, but she stumbled when it really counted, spreading her arrows all over the target. She still took fifth place. It came as no surprise that I won after putting three arrows in the bullseye. The first price was a silver arrow. It must be solid metal, for it weighs ten times as much as a regular arrow.

After the archery, it was time for dueling. I recognized many of the contestants as fellow guild members, but there may have been some soldiers or guards there as well. I was lucky and didn’t have an opponent in the first round. Ilzo and Va’lyndra had no trouble beating their opponents. Ilzo and I had easy opposition in the second round, but Va’lyndra struggled against an agile gnome and took some time to land a hit. The padded wooden weapons we used still struck heavy blows, so in the interest of not getting too many wounded, the first hit won you the round. The third round didn’t present much difficulty for any of us, but Ilzo was strained against a human in the fourth. I thought we were lucky not to draw each other as opponents, and we didn’t meet in round five either. This time, Ilzo was the one who drew an easy adversary. Va’lyndra barely made it against an ogre, and my opponent was a fungoid with two swords and two shields. I’d watched him earlier, and he seemed like a formidable opponent. I made a simple attack, just to test his defenses, but he seemed to outsmart himself when choosing how to block, allowing the blow to land.

I met Va’lyndra in the semi-final. As Ilzo, she and I were three of the four remaining contestants, even I was able to calculate that two of us had to meet now. With a staff against a long knife, Va’lyndra had a longer reach than me, and this caused me to make one tactical blunder after another. Unwilling to retreat from her attacks, thinking I needed to step forward to get her inside my reach, I just wasn’t agile enough to dodge when she made a deceptive all-out attack. What I should have done, had I had the brains to think of it in the heat of battle, was to retreat from the attack, then dart forward and around her, swiping at her unprotected back as I passed her. I’m fast enough to pull it off. Of course, an attack made while running is difficult to land, but even if I missed, I’d be in a better position after the maneuver.

Ilzo won his semi-final against a very skilled elf, by dropping his weapon and punching the unsuspecting opponent. I winced as the blow landed; Ilzo’s bare fists hurt far more than a padded stick. Va’lyndra beat him in the final. I blame her brains for the victory. Both Ilzo and I are more skilled with our weapons than her, but she thinks faster on her feet, adapting tactics to the situation. There were money prizes for the best four competitors, so I got something even having been beaten in the semi-final.

The other fighting discipline was team dueling, with three people on each team. Ilzo, Va’lyndra and I were favorites to win, considering how well each of us had fought earlier, only losing to others on the team. Ilzo almost messed things up in the first round, but as Va’lyndra and I scored hits almost immediately, we were able to team up against Ilzo’s opponent and take him out. The second round went smoothly, but Ilzo really messed up in the third round, taking a hit from the fungoid I met in the individual duels. Against Va’lyndra and me, who just as quickly dispatched our opponents, the fungoid crumbled, even with two swords and two shields. The skilled elf from Ilzo’s individual semi-final had teamed up with a gnome swordsman and a human halberdier and we met in the final. I made the same mistakes against the halberdier as I had done against Va’lyndra earlier today, but Va’lyndra poked him in the back just after he felled me. The elven opponent took out Va’lyndra just as easily, but failed to take into account Ilzo’s speed and reach and got a blow from behind. Ilzo had taken out the gnome when I didn’t look, so he was the only one still standing, taking us to victory! Ilzo, Va’lyndra and I split the prize money between us, but it didn’t divide easily by three, so Olivia and Leopold got a small share as well.

The next event was mud wrestling, but adventurers were banned from competing, giving the local amateurs a chance to shine. I took Olivia back to the inn for a quick wrestling match of our own, then we hurried back to the field for the wife-carrying competition. Competitors weren’t actually required to be married, but too large size discrepancies weren’t allowed. Like last year, I would carry Olivia. Ilzo was going to carry Va’lyndra. My jaw dropped when I saw that both of them wore armor. Even so, Ilzo won the whole race. I’m not complaining about Olivia’s weight – she’s just perfect the way she is – but she slowed me down. Unlike most opponents, I didn’t fall once on the muddy ground, but Ilzo beat me hands down; I didn’t even get close. His prize was a small bag with pills that increase the chance of pregnancy. I offered to buy them off him, and he sold me half, at one gold piece for each of the five pills that I promptly handed to Olivia.

Olivia and I have talked a few times about what life will be like after my adventuring career. I don’t intend to go treasure hunting for the rest of my life, I just need to save the world. Then we can settle down somewhere, and we’d both like to start a family. Obviously, we can’t have children together. The only way one of us would get with child, is to be with a man, something that Olivia won’t do, and of course, there’s the magic curse that has rendered me unable to conceive, so even with all my male liaisons, there’s no chance I’ll get pregnant. Therefore, we’ve thought about adoption. These pills, however… Maybe they can overcome the curse? I need to talk this through with Olivia, but there’s no rush; I’m not anywhere near saving the world, yet.

In the timber tossing contest, Ilzo was classified as an ogre, and had to toss a bigger tree trunk. I had no delusion that I might win, but I delighted in competing. At least I beat Va’lyndra. Ilzo took fourth place, behind two actual ogres and a human.

The penultimate event was the one I was looking forward to the most, the obstacle course! There would be four rounds, with progressively more difficult obstacles. I ran through the first round with ease, and Va’lyndra also made the cutoff, unlike Ilzo. The elf and I got through the second and third round as well. I was a little disappointed when they didn’t increase the difficulty for the finals. That would have cemented it in my favor, but I still managed to win. A box of half-baked wheat buns was the prize. They would be a nice supplement to the travel rations.

The last event of the day was a talent show. Va’lyndra decided to do an elvish dance while singing. I was obviously doing an acrobatic routine. We lined up for an audition in front of a panel of judges. I hadn’t prepared anything in particular for this event, but Olivia made some suggestions. Va’lyndra’s singing was dismissed by the judges, so she wasn’t allowed to perform for the crowd that was gathering, even as we stood there waiting. When it was my turn in front of the judges, they just waved me through. I wouldn’t have minded doing the audition, but being famous has its advantages.

Ilzo made a spectacle, and scared the judges into fetching armed guards. He claimed that his talent was to frighten people, but that didn’t make him any more popular. Va’lyndra and I had to defuse the situation, and Ilzo had to go back to the inn, so he missed my performance. I won the talent competition, unsurprisingly, and received a set of winter clothes, made by someone called Aunt Olga.

Having won four events, I was declared overall victor this year, too. Guild master Gnomus painted a portrait of me again, and last year’s picture was taken down and given to me. Olivia and I borrowed a bathtub back at our inn and washed the sweat off. We celebrated my victory long into the night.