Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

You need to check his "How Many Wikis Have I Created" wiki for that.


On topic, I think I used this one much earlier in this thread, but it is still on of my favorites:
"How is being dead a physical limitation?"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I've lost count - probably somewhere between a dozen and twenty. Seven are up at Wikidot.Com alone...

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

From our amnesia game on Sunday:

Darque: "I'm getting a really bad feeling."
Gummi: "What, do you have ESP or something?"
Darque: "No, the GM is clearing the center of the table."

Me: "Oh, that's bad. Roll three-dice . . . and roll low."
Gummi: "Sixteen."
Me: "What part of 'low' was hard to understand?"
Gummi: "Well, that's low for damage."
Me: "Not on three dice it isn't!"

This isn't so much a quote as a memorable moment from the above game:

Gummi asked me if he could play a person who hallucinated other people (basically a form of schizophrenia). After some thinking I agreed. While he was getting his picture ready, I approached the rest of the party and asked if they would be okay with their characters, for the beginning, being figments of Gummi’s imagination. There was a little thinking (and assurances that they would get “real” characters in the future) before they all agreed.

Now, Gummi has no idea what’s going on. He doesn’t understand why I haven’t used his mental illness much, but everyone else does. And they understand that, as the game goes along, they will be called upon to play both characters, perhaps at the same time. But they all like the idea . . . especially when they can mess with Gummi.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Player 1: I will tear the stolen food from the very belly of that blasted thief!
Player 2: Sounds tasty.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Just remembered one;

Bieng adressed by an Angel, who spends several minutes trying different languages before resorts to a magical enchantment;

Angel: Greetings Mort-
Player: IT SPEAKETH IN TOUNGES!

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

During the 20 seconds before a door breach by the enemy forces when they were trying to capture us alive for the death penalty ina time travel RP (The machine could only go forward or back about 2 hours due to low power at this point)
PC1:Right! I have a plan.
PC2,3,4&5: What?
PC1: No time to explain, I need to borrow the time machine and a pickle.
PC2: Alright...wait...why a pickle?
PC1: NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!!!
*PC 3 hands him a pickle*
PC1: Right, I jump into the time machine and go back in time to ten minutes before this encounter then go hide.
GM: ...er...why do you need a pickle for that?
PC1: hey...I was hungry and I need something to eat while I watch them get beaten up.
Rest of PCs:You ****
PC1: OOOC: Eh...I'll save you later. *Eats the pickle*

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Throught a series of Strange and unrelated events two (Male heterosexual) PCs ended up accidentally kissing, PC 1 had kissed someone in character before, technically. He had been giving CPR to a succubus (Now a NPC) and she's turned it into a kiss. PC2 is known for being determind to be the best at EVERYTHING and he will try until he is.

PC 1 & 2: *Pull out the kiss quickly* ...(Realize who they are kissing) ...AARGHHHHH!!! *Both run to the bathroom to wash their mouths*
(1 minute of washing later)
PC1: What the hell were you doing!!!
PC2: What was I doing?! What were you doing...?
*General arguing*
Eventually...
PC2: (Out of no where)...So...was I good.
PC1:*Sprays water everywhere* Er...what
PC2: simple question, am I a good kisser?
PC1:...er...I don't want to discuss this...
PC2: Come on, a simple yes or no, was I, or was I not, the best kiss you have ever had?
PC1:...er.........Not really...
PC2: *Outrages* What!...Who?!
PC1: ...er...Malthi (Sucbbus)...
PC2: What!...She's not better than me!
PC1: Er...yes...yes she is...look can we stop talki...
*PC2 cuts him off with a kiss*
(a minute later)
PC2: That better?
PC1: WHAT THE HELL!
PC2: was that better than Malthi?
PC1: NO!
*PC2 goes to kiss him again and he dodges*
PC1: Look! there's nothing wrong with your kissess it's just she's in a different leauge to you..
*PC2 becomes enraged and chases him around the ship eventually cornering him in the hallway*
*Kisses him again*
PC1:...still no...
PC2: ARRGH! What's she got that I havn't got?!
PC1:...she's not a man..., she's beautiful and physically attractive, you are not...and a four foot tounge...
PC2: ...Oh...good point...
PC1:...Thank you, now...put. me. down.
???: *Click* Aww...you're so sweet for saying that (PC1)
*Both look and see Malthi standing there with a camera and tape recorder*
PC2:...er...how much did you hear?
Malthi: all of it...*Walks over and gives PC1 a peck on the cheek then walks out*
PC2:..........Hey...wait...she had a recorder...and a CAMERA!!!
*Both run out*
Eventually results them catching her just before she puts the picture and sound clip on the internet.
PC1: Right (PC2)...shall we just cover this entire incident in our memories...everything we said, everything that happened...EVERYTHING...with Barry Whites greatest hits?
PC2: Deal *Handshake*
Malthi: (Tied up in the corner)...isn't Barry White considered romanti...
Both: Shut up...Just...just shut up...

(The best thing was that next time we were in town, PC2 bought a item that allowed him to manipulate human flesh, he turned some of his muscle into a Five foot tounge...)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

(this happened due to a player have played portal about 30 mins before everyone else showed up to play; his pc was capture by the BBEG)

PC: "Remember that time I tired to kill you and you were like oh no you don't and we laughed and laughed."

BBEG: "No,I don't remember that at all."

"This bit has taught me no give addiction cake as a disadvantage to the bbeg

pc: If you let me go I promise you cake.
BBEG "Really?"
PC: Yes
BBEG unties the pc

PC: The cake is a lie.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

During a rest between Quests session the group inevitably ended up in a tavern, except this one had kareoke.
After a Heavy drinking contest the only people remaining were Malthi, PC1 (From the kissing incident), PC3 and PC4. After a failed will power roll, PC 1 managed to get up on stage and sings.
PC 4: Should we stop him?
PC3: Nah
Malthi: It'll be funny to see what he sings about...
*Pc 1 walks over to the Bard and talks to him for a moment. the Bard nods and then he walks off stage*
PC4: ...what's he doing?
*About 30 minutes of game play later he comes back in with what appears to be a guitar, a mage and leater armour on (In the form of a leather Jacket)
PC 3: (Looks up as Pc 1 takes out a pair of enchanted reflective glassess)...Oh dear Gods...
PC 1 walks up again, the wizard does something with the bar's bard and PC1 (Skill transferr spell) and he then turns to the group.
PC 1: Well I guess it would be nice...If I could touch your body...
Malthi: Oh dear gods...
(One round of George Micheals Faith later)
PC3: ...Is...Is Malthri Blushing (Whispering to PC 4)
Malthri: He is so dead...
Crowd: *General sounds of approval*
*PC 1 throws the horns, throws his masterwork guitar to the bard, who catches it and starts playing*
PC 1: When you kiss me like this...I think you mean it like that...
PC 4: Wow...he is sooooo dead.
PC 3: I don't know...I mean...he might survive but be horribly maimed.
Malthri: ...
PC 1: Now...Since I do not expect to survive the night...one last song...
...*Sways slightly, goes over to the bard and takes a HUGE gulp of his vodka then walks back* This one, along with all the others, are dedicated to Malthri, she's beautiful, smart and incredible in every way... *Laughs* and she's going to disembowl me for this last one...HAHAHA!!! *HE then gives a beautiful (Rolls a 37) renindition of 'When your in love with a beautiful woman*
PC 1: And thats all...goodbye *Breaks into a run, drops through a trap door and disappears* (Mage used teleport on him)
PC 3, 4 and Malthi: ... *Malthi wanders off*
PC 3 :Wanna go save him?
*PC 2 gets up*
PC 2:...Hey Kareoki...*Wanders up on stage and does a strip tease to bad touch*
PC 4: ...no...I want this for my you tube account...
PC 3: good luck (PC 1)...*Whips out the camera*

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Fantasy Hero game. The party has just been ambushed by zombies.

"Don't fire till you see the sockets of their eyes!"

One of the PCs has an enchanted dwarven-made scythe that does over 3d6 Killing damage, but was getting lousy damage rolls -- I think his highest roll was 7 points. At one point during the fight, that player wants to run over to a new zombie on the battlemat. The GM reminds him (again) that we're fighting in heavy fog, so his character will have to make a Perception roll to even know the zombie is over there. As the GM is adding up the fog penalty, one of the other players chimes in with "Just make a damage roll for your scythe and you'll see it".

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

From yesterday's game. My character had just been resurrected after an unfortunate wight attack.

Belkar: "You can sleep when you're -- well, you should be pretty damned rested now!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

A guy with the Penetrating Voice perk, yelling in aggravation at his wives in a busy bar: You're having an orgy at my house and I'm not invited?!

(Yes, they really were going to have an orgy at his house, and he'd been uninvited.)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"Is that an arrow in your codpiece, or are you happy to see me?"

(It was an arrow -- gotta love concealed body armor when the hit location dice keep going for the crotch.)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Friday Night Trivia at work:

Question: Which duo resides at 66 West Wallaby Street?

Best answer of the night: "Donnie and Marie!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Background: The PCs are in a dungeon complex. It's a temple to a dead god of rulership and nationalism in the country they're staying and it was formerly occupied by fantatical hold-outs hoping to resurrect the god and rule again in his name. Being organised and sensible fanatics, they also brought thousands of slaves and had been working the mines under the isolated mountain for more than a decade. Meaning that there was a lot of treasure. As in so much that after the PCs applied a smacking to everyone in the temple, leaving the gold and copper made sense, so they could load up on rough diamonds.

In the temple, there was also a dracosphinx allied with the priests. This dracosphinx apparently fond of illusions and an illusionary dragon guarding a hoard scared the PCs out of their minds. They found a few other illusions in the temple as well.

The Greedy PC had been sorting the loot by value and loading it on his buddies. He threw away everything in their gear that wasn't incredibly valuable and/or they'd need on the 24 hour trip away. He even threw away the food and most of the water, reasoning that a single day of discomfort was better than leaving any of that wonderful treasure behind.

His player was almost in tears over having to leave so much treasure. He was also hopping in joy over having so much, biting his nails over something happening to it and in general prey to a lot of conflicting emotions.

Then this conversation happened.

We'll call the Greedy PC Murlak, since that's his name. The bluff and cheerful Highlander PC will be Sir Michael.

Sir Michael: "What if all this treasure is an illusion?"
Murlak: "Eh... uh..."
(turns to GM and addresses him directly)
"Then I'll kill you. That's right. I'll physically come to your house and stab you. You know I will. You'll become a steam tunnel headline. 'Man killed over RPG'. Try me."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

There's a gremlin character in my game that skins her humanoid enemies and does leatherworking on their skins. one of the players got his armor destroyed and was asking about going to a shop, these are the replies that followed:

gremlin: I can do leatherworking
P2: not the kind of leather you want

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

In a Shadowrun game there were two characters who were constantly squabbling. One was a straight laced female street samurai (Hachi), the other was a foul-mouthed, sexist special-ops type (Diego). They had some memorable exchanges, mostly at Hachi's expense.

After Diego says something particularly stupid:
Hachi: "We just have to ignore whatever comes out of his mouth."
Diego: "I'll make you c-m out of your mouth!"

Hachi: "You slept with an ork? Your standards are slipping."
Diego: "I'll sleep with anything on two legs."
Hachi: "I'll let you know when I find some geese."
Diego: "Oh yeah!"

After a surprise attack:
Hachi: "He shot at us!? I return fire, then. What a dick."
Diego: "Oh, so now you go around hitting on the people who are trying to kill us? Whore."
Hachi: "Why do I even bother opening my mouth around you?"
Diego: "I think you know why."

After a long, pointless argument about Diego stealing Hachi's flashlight:
Hachi: "Fine, I go buy another flashlight."
Diego: "I jerk off on her couch."
GM: "You get a flashlight. Also, your couch is stained."

Our heroes are operating under pseudonyms:
Hachi: "Hi, I'm Nika and this is my associate Ivan."
Diego: "Who the f--- is Ivan?"
(Awkward pause)
Hachi: "Uh, you are."
Diego: "Oh."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

This came up in last night's game. The PCs need to rescue someone from a village of lizardmen, and the party diplomat convinced the lizardmen to accept a single challenge to settle the issue. Hammer is the party's one-man cuisinart: a DF Swashbuckler with Extra Attack 2 and a big sword.

Lenia: "Try and make the fight look good, Hammer, and don't kill him. If you just walk out there and decapitate their leader, it could end badly."
Hammer: "I'll keep it interesting, no promises on the latter...perhaps Mrugnak?"
Berkun: "Go for the stomach and stomp on him..."
Hammer: "Let's do this" drops his pack
Narrator: The lizardmen lead you to the ring. A hulking lizardman in armor leans on a massive club across from the ring.
Lizardmen: "Hes issss yours champions?"
Hammer carefully draws
Lenia: "He is."
Lizardmen: "Whats isss hes doings? Ttthhes fights issss assss Sllezzziksss intendeds: unarmeds."
Hammer: "ummmm.... Club?"
Lizardmen: The lizardman champion shrugs out his armor and begins stretching, leaving the club on the ground.
Hammer: "Mrugnak?"
Hammer: "Mommy?"

The delvers managed to substitute Mrugnak (Bruno's Barbarian minotaur) but it was a close run thing. I'm looking forward to the fight next week.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Superhero game, one of the new characters has finally decided (after at least four sessions) to investigate the possibility of joining the PC team. She phones the contact number.

OOC: "For superhero confessions, please press 1. All other callers, please press 2."

Later in the same game -- we're on the trail of a demon that broke free of its summoners. We strongly suspect it's going to attack a fundraiser full of its favored prey in two (game) days, but would rather find it sooner and cut down on the innocents in the crossfire. As we're trying to come up with possible hiding places for a very large demon, "Call Motel 666!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Words I never thought I'd hear in game sessions:

Session 1:- Player: "I guess the lesson is, never camp where someone just pooed."

Session 2:- Player to GM: "So, how's my diaorrhea going?"
GM: "Well, roll."

Session 3:- "I'll go to the armourer and see if I can trade my ipod for a composite bow."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

An OOC conversation in a Champions game. For those who don't play it, skill rolls are done with 3 six-sided dice.

Player 1: I failed, I got a 19.
Player 2: You can't get 19 on three dice.
Player 1: I can!

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

The Party
Brother Cudfayl: a good-hearted Cleric of Esham, God of Law. (Me)
Tyrvin Garnet: a Gnome Mage. Cheerful, whimsical, suffers from an insatiable curiousity. (Simon)
Jarek Ravenlock: a Fighter/Thief. Seemingly quiet and driven, he carries a great iron sword. (Juliano)
Izhtaza: female High Elf Ranger beautiful, enigmatic and a bit of a closed book. (my wife)
Otto Proudfoot: a stout (!) Halfling Fighter; a doughty cook, warrior and drinker! (Lesley)
Himone: another Elf Ranger, from the far north; a highly skilled tracker and consummate archer. (Tim)
Krull The Barbyturate: a Barbarian Warrior; very proud of his enormous weapon! (Paul)

The Scene
It was an AD&D game being run at our games club. Our party had been asked to escort a cleric of the Forest Goddess to an ancient chapel in the woods.
As we travelled, we came across the eviscerated body of the local herbalist. Said herbalist had been flayed alive, impaled on a branch some 20 feet up, then disembowelled and his entrails wrapped around the trunk of said tree.

The Quote
Izhtaza: "That doesn't look like a yellow ribbon to me."

The game stopped dead for about 5 minutes whilst the GM stopped choking on his beer at this point.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Shall largely go unexplained: "Oh come on! how many times does a prop plane drive into a field of sleeping cows."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Renting the clubhouse - $15.00
12-Pack of beer - $6.00
Making your GM choke on said beer with a well timed line - PRICELESS

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

(During a Fantasy Norse game. We were playing Vikings and had managed to make our way into the temple of Thor through a back enterance, we were there to Steal Mjolnir from his private quarters (Gods had immortal earth bound bodies). We managed to sneak into his quarters and grab Mjolnir, as we were about to leave his quarters someone tried to enter through the front door.

PC1: Oh Sh...everyone in here *Dives through a door*
GM: ...Right you're in what appears to be a steam room *Smile*.
PC2: Right, I yell through the door to whoever is coming in "Don't come in...I'm...er...in the Steam room!"
GM: ...A voice replies "Yes M' Lord, we are here for your orders, what are we to do about the Geats who are infringing upon the southern borders?
PC2: (Whispers to the other PCs) What shall I tell them!
PC3: Er...umm...What would Thor Do?
PC4: I don't know, what would that Drunken, violent, womanizer of a God Do?
PC1: ...Get Hammered?
Everyone: *General laughter*
GM:...*Barely holding back laughter*
PC2: ...*Throught the door* Give me a hour or so, let me have a nice quiet Soak for a bit.
GM: ...er...Sir...you always give out orders in the Steam room.
PC2: ...Well I'm feeling Ill today and I can't think Straight so give me a hour.
GM: ...Er...Right...Yes Sir *Sound of a Door closing* *Huge smile on his face*
PC1: Yes! Score!...I cannot belive that we're getting away with this, I mean, honestly I thought he would at least leave some security on his room when he's out.
PC2: Heh, probably passed out in a gutter somewhere after drinking too much.
*GM breaks down laughing, pointing at a little bit of writing on his notes, PC1 leans over and looks at the little bit of writing (With his permission) and then goes pale*
PC1:...No way...
GM: A voice comes from in the Steam "...Am I" And Thor Steps out into View.
Everyone: ............Oh S***
PC1: RUN!
GM: *Shows everyone his notes he wrote the day before, Right in the steamroom is a little X with 'Thor in bath' written on it.*
Surprisingly we did manage to escape alive. Some of us lost limbs but oh well.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

The party has just entered an ancient genetics lab and encountered guards who are genetically engineered telepaths who are mind-controlling giant raptors and using them for mounts. The PCs manage to incapacitate one of the guards and knock him off of his mount. The dinosaur's instincts started to reassert themselves, frightening everyone.

One of the more flamboyant characters volunteered to keep this new menace under control. He asked the other guard "How do you stop this thing?"

The guard returned "Can you touch its' mind?"

"I can touch its' soul."

At this point, the character proceeded to distract the raging raptor with interpretive dance while the party alien telepath used his own powers to regain control of the beast.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

GM: As you put your foot down the flagstone underneath it slides downwards. You hear a click.

Player: I lift my foot and wait to see what happens.

GM: A 10ton slab of stone falls on you. You found the trap.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

From tonights online session (still ongoing):

Connell: "What gold?"
Mrugnak: "Der guys in der bar say dese guys dat wot was here had gold n stuff."
Mrugnak: "But den dey bad druids an dese wolfs come and make dem go way an den der gold got lost."
Mordreona: "I recall that too Mrugnak."
Lenia: "That's the sanctified regalia, Mrugnak. That stays with the druids."
Mordreona: "Why do they get to keep the gold?"
Connell: "Because it's holy. Holy gold stays with the holy people."
Mordreona: "I'm not sure I buy that."
Mordreona: "That is to say if thats true when we have it it is not holy any more."
Connell: "Chances are if you steal holy gold, you end up cursed. Suppurating boils, hair in uncomfortable places, sudden teeth. Druids can be very creative."
Mrugnak: "Mrugnak gots hair everywhere."
Mordreona: "Now thats a good point."
Berkun: "What if he'd lose all the hair, then?"
Mordreona: "Then when I lick him it would tast better for sure."
Connell: "I... did not know you and Mrugnak had that kind of relationship."
** Mrugnak blinks. **
** Mrugnak looks totally confused. **

I'm not sure he knew they had "that kind" of relationship either.


Backround - Berkun is an archer.

Lenia: "Hey, Berkun."
Lenia: "Just how far can you reach out and touch things at?"
Berkun: "Reach out?"
Lenia: "How far does your bow shoot?"
Berkun: "As long as my ha... oh!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

To a character attempting to read a note his dying father had passed on to him. He's illiterate.

Roland: I take it and look over the strange symbols.
GM: They're strange. And symbolic.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Background: GURPS Cyberpunk game. Due to it being Mardi Gras season IRL, and the shop we were playing at being on the back side of a parade route, we were gaming at a Starbucks. The PCs are in New Jersey, looking for some mircrochip templates stolen from a courier by a hooker. Said hooker has gone missing. They trace her down only to discover that she's the latest victim of a serial killer know as the Harvester of Eyes. I quietly (we're in a Mundane location, after all) describe how she's appears to have been slowly flayed alive and had her eyes plucked out.

Chuck, playing the group's techie, loudly blurts out, "HOLY ****! HE SKINNED THE ****ING HOOKER ALIVE!" In the middle of a Starbucks. In the middle of a crowded Starbucks.

Me: (Giving the "migraine salute") Chuck, did you really need to shout that?
Chuck: Well, it was in character.
Me: Yes. Yes it was. However, you could have simply said, "My character shouts, 'Holy ****! He skinned the ****ing hooker alive!'" instead of actually shouting it in a room full of mundanes.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

This exchange occoured between two PCs. The roleplay was a zombie roleplay based about 20 years ater the outbreak and we were part of a squad who went outside the safty of the city into the wastes and scaveneged. They had a long history of serious (IC) fights because the Doctor was a very moral person who always throught of the consequences of his actions, was very anally retentive and tended to speak his mind (loudly) and the other was a Violent Amoral Melee fighting Mavrik nutter who never thought of the consequences.
The two had been sperated from the group (by falling off a building). They were walking back around the building to get to the enterance again, having argued about who's fault it was.
Melee: Peh...God damn Doc...pulling me off the God damn roof. s***head.
Doc: ...
Melee: Hey...a Dead Cat...*Picks it up, inspects it and throws it away*...Hey Doc...*Really disgusting 'Dead Cat Joke'*
Doc: .........You're sick in the head.
M: Hey, anything to keep up spirits. Otherwise we go crazy around here.
D: ...
M: ...Fine, F*** you.
D: ...Hey, *Name of melee*...I think I've gone crazy...
M: ...Why?
D: *Snicker*
M: Why? What!?
D: *Bursts out laughing* Because I see dead people HAHAHAHAHA!!! *Points, a group of about 450 zombies walking towards the building*
M: ...You've got a Sick sense of Humour Doc...
*Both leg it into the building. Doc laughing all the way*

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Something that came up in our online game a couple of weeks ago:
Brynjar is on the staff of the Icelandic Embassy, and he's talking to the British Ambassador, who our party had saved the week before from a super-villain. Brynjar was trying to hide the fact that he has superpowers, and the following exchange occurred:

Brynjar: "I performed as best I could, sir."
Ambassador: "I should hope so. You were one man working alone, and you outperformed the resources of Great Britain and the United States combined. Yes, I should very much hope that you had performed as best you could. Because if that was an example of anything less than your best, I might wonder why Iceland allows us to retain the illusion of global dominance at all."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

It's easier that way.

Didn't someone once said that the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing everyone he didn't exist?

;)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Same Zombie roleplay. They're locked in an underground bunker with 2 NPCs, zomibes packed outside the door slowly breaking through the 4 foot thick steel door by sheer weight of numbers and strength.

Doc: "*Watching them slowly break throught the screen on the door*...oh well, at least I shall die as I have lived, surrounded by Jerkwards and A**Holes...*Looks at everyone else in turn, turns to the NPCs* No offence *Turns to every other player except the melee fighter in turn* No offence..."
GM: OOOC *Points at melee fighters player* "Much offence."
(During scavenging in a abandon factory)
PC1: Hey [PC2]...Guess what?
PC2: ...What?
PC1: *Throws a shoe at him* BOOT TO THE HEAD
PC2: HOLY S*** CLEATS!
(Quite often, during any arkward break in the conversation for more than 10 seconds during a mission, playing a maverik who doesn't like Anyone.)
PC3: "...I just thought I would take this oppotunity, given by this arkward break in the conversation to mention that I hate you all...not a little bit, a LOT...Just thought you'd want to know for future reference...Seriously, I hate you all..."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Same campaign from earlier, my illiterate players happened to learn reading by now...they have so much to learn though. TL3, characters came from a backwater muddy dying incredibly poor farming village. They are currently infiltrating a warehouse at the docks for thieves. Hudson has just entered the first floor of the building after Fargo (npc) killed the lone threat. Wulf is their patron NPC, a powerful wizard who looked after them after their town was destroyed.

GM: There are two doors in this room, one under the stairs, most likely a closet. The other is to your left, it's a tiny room.
Hudson: Ok
GM: Tiny room is tiny though.
Hudson: >_>
Hudson: "Fargo, watch the stairs. I'll get this door." (Not the closet)
GM: Fargo runs to the stairs, You find inside the strangest contraption you've ever laid eyes on, and that's saying something considered Wulf took you into his home. It has chains and pullies and a seat. And smells terrible. It's also made of porcelian.
Roland: xD
Hudson: ...
Hudson: great
Hudson: the thieves are into kinky sex
GM/Roland: it's a toilet you doof/boob!
Roland: xD
Hudson: Oh
GM: xD
Hudson: well
GM: AHAHAHAHAHA
Hudson: you know where my mind is then

Game had to stop for a few minutes.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Superhero game -- in every fight we've had since a new character joined, said character has been smashed back into something. The other night, we're in battle with the Big Bad of the current story arc. You guessed it, new character (who is a HTH combatant, so he has to go in close) gets backhanded across the room.

In character, the player says "That always happens, I'm fine."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

This came up at work today. Keep in mind that these people aren't gamers. Only I am.

MO: I want to be like MG!

MG: Everyone wants to me like me. Even TG.

TG: Huh?

MG: I’m like a Jedi Master . . . TG is like a . . . what is the lowest level of Jedi? Mark, Mark would know.

Mark: Padawan Learner.

MG: Yeah, TG is a Padawan Learner.

MO: So, I’ve got some practice to go.

MG: No, you’re like a Jedi Knight, like Ben. I’m like Yoda!

Mark: Does that make me a Sith Lord? I’m pretty much the opposite of you guys.

MG: Yeah, you’d be Sith. KF is Jar Jar!

Much laughing!

KF: Ah, man, why you gotta be hatin’!

MG2: If they’re Jedi, I’m going to the dark side.

Mark: Yes, come to the Dark Side . . . we have cookies!

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Another conversation between the Melee and the Doctor. The group had entered a hospital only to find out that it was inhabited by a nest of zombies of a type they had never seen before. To be exact. Flying. Zombie. Babies. A swarm of nearly 350 of them with the same power and abilities as being hit by a swarm of flying razor blades. Everyone panics when our leader is taken down.

Doc(OOOC): Go on [Name of Melee] go fight them, beating small helpless creatures that can't defend themselves is your department down to the T.
Melee (OOOC):(Sarcasticly) Oh Sure, I mean, in my spare time I just wander into the materinity ward back home. I spend all my spare Time Smacking Babies about. You should see the look on their mothers faces.
Doc(OOOC):(Sacrastically grinning and waving at everyone else) Exactly. Get to it then.

Everyone else saw it as this:
Doc(IC): Go on [Name of Melee] go fight them, beating small helpless creatures that can't defend themselves is your department down to the T.
Melee (IC):(Seriously) Oh Sure, I mean, in my spare time I just wander into the materinity ward back home. I spend all my spare Time Smacking Babies about. You should see the look on their mothers faces.
Doc(IC):(Waving at baby swarm) Exactly. Get to it then!
The look on everyone elses faces until we explained it was OOOC was brilliant.
---
On the helicopter back from the mission (Discussing what we should call a new type of Zombie we had discovered which was a giant organism made of lots of Zombies that had melded together and Grown tentacles. Think of the Gravemind off Halo)
Doc: How about Gravemind?
PC2: Nah...Not a good description. It doesn't lead them or anything.
PC3: How about Peepers, 'cause of those huge Eye stalks it had?
Melee: No...Peepers? Why don't you just call them Eyeballs or something if you're going to be stupid.
PC2(Naive): What about Zombie Squids?
Everyone else:...No...
PC2: Why not?
Doc: No...
Melee: Hmm...What about Floaters...you know after that old game...umm...command and Conquer: Tiberium Sun The creatures from that?
Doc: Nah...
*5 minutes of Discussion later with the Doc Totally silent throughout*
Doc: *Huge Grin onhis face*...What about Overfiends?
Everyone else: ...What?
PC2 (OOOC): *Snicker*...(IC) Well it's your choice...
Doc: Overfiends it is.
Everyone else (OOOC): Why? What's that got to do with these things?
Doc (OOOC): Well when you get home. Look up and watch Legend of the Overfiend. You'll get it *Big Grin* Never watched it myself but [PC2] told me about it...Apparently, it's Hilarious.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Star Hero game. We're in a situation where we couldn't carry any tech gear with us, but one of our PCs got an exemption for his cybernetic radio implant because, well, he couldn't exactly unplug it.

We've been getting Mr Radio Implant to relay messages to and from our spaceship and the rest of the crew, but something comes up where the captain (an NPC) needs to give an override code to the ship's AI ... and it has to be in his voice.

GM (IC as the captain): Can you loan me that radio?
Player 1 (IC): Sorry, it's an implanted throat mike.
Me (OOC): Why do I have a mental image of the captain holding his (pointing at Player 1) mouth open and yelling into it?
GM (OOC): ::laughing:: I was thinking the same thing!
Player 2 (OOC, pretending to be the AI): Captain, we're having communications problems, can you get closer to the mike?
GM: NO!

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

P1: I've killed people for less!
NPC: Well then why dont you go ahead and shoot m-*BLAM*

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I wouldn't say "hilarious." But, it's in my library. And you'll note my title.

Mwaha, ha ha ha.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

From a Supers Roleplay recently. All the characters had creted their powers seperatly so no one knew what anyone elses powers were.
Two PC's had just met for the First time, the first was working for the 'good guys' and hunting down the other to try and convince him to join, unfortunatly he wasn't very polite to the second and the second really wanted to be left alone and enevitably they ended up fighting. The First was a super with Super Intellect and Super Strength and very arrogent. The Second was a Weedy, thin 18 year old who had been sleeping rough on the streets for as long as he could remember, was suffering from Malnutrition and was wrapped up in nothing but Trousers, a Hoody and bandages for warmth. Throught the entire Fight the second showed no signs of powers (Not that the First gave him a chance to). The First had just hammered the second using his Super Strength and insanly powerful home-built armour.
First: Well *Lifts up the second by his throat* you're very weak arn't you, I wonder why the Captain wants you...your pathetic...What are your powers anyway? *Throws him across the room.*
Second: *Cough and mutters something*
First: *Steps closer* What?
Second: I said 'one word...'
First: And what word would that be?
Second: *Stands up slowly and raises his arms* ...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! *Bees fly out of his arms and swarm the First PC, ignoring all armour. The Second then leaps over, unfurls his hand based stingers and stabs the first in the face (Fortunatly using a non-lethal dose of his poison) sending the First flying into a wall. He then walks over and Wraps the First up in spiderweb then hung him upside down from a Lamp post and Snuck off*...Heh...Bees.

Eventually it turned out, to everyones suprise, that the Second was a Insectoid Mutant (With a mixture of Ant, Bee, Hornet and Spider DNA) and had developed an ability to control any creatures with a 'Hive mind' mentality (Including but not limited to, Bees, ants, termites, hornets, naked molerats and Rats (Not really Hive mind animals but the GM let him have it. But he had difficulty doing mammels), basically anything that lived in swarms.) He also had enhanced Strength, Stamina (including a just under the skin Endoskeleton, so he had taken very little damage from the attacks), Hive mind abilities, spinerettes, extendable Stingers and a series of hollow tubes in his body (Known in insects as Spiracles) that he let insects live in, mostly bees. He was rather cynical to start with and slightly unhinged due to years of roughing it.
His (Unofficial) battle-cry eventually became "BEEZ!", another one of his unofficial battlecries (After he gained the ability to open a hole between worlds to another plane that consisted entirly of bees (Well, two planes, one of normal bees, the other of Giant Bees that he only opened when desperate as it took more energy)) was "Beez, lotsa beez, lotsa-bees-lotsa-bees! Hey!" (Repeated over and over again as a chant), his motto was "So...what's the buzz then?", his favourite weapon was his bees...needless to say he really liked Bees...a lot. His two signature moves in nasty fights were a) to call ever swarm creature within a 5 mile radius to him and wear them, usually resulting in a giant humanoid made of Bees, rats, Ants and Termites fighting the enemy or b) to make a huge ball of Bees (Or ants, sometimes he used ants) between his hands by having them swarm out his wrist holes and latch onto each other then throw it at the enemy in either a 'Beam' (Of flying insects) or 'ball' (In which case he threw the insects himself) to a yell of "Kame...Kame ...BEEZ/ANTZ!!!!".
His Supername was something like 'Hivemind', most of the group (Especially one of the girls who happened to have a rather serious crush on him as he had pheremone Ducts, was very sensitive when he wanted to be and was rather handsome, along with being rather nice and charming) called him 'Honey' for most of the RP to his mild irritation.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I am vastly amused that this memorable quote comes to us just as Bill Gates gave a TED talk at which he released a swarm of mosquitoes onto the unsuspecting audience made up of generally rich, smart, and/or important people.

(To make a point about malaria, btw.)

((If 10 years ago you had told me I would today be calling Bill Gates a great humanitarian and generally rockin' guy, I and my Apple computer would have laughed...))

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"Drop the weapon. Live to see tomorrow."

<got the surrender I was looking for>
<Helped that my mage was holding/casting visible Large Violet Corona of Force>

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

*after foiling an assassination attempt one of the two assassins leaps out a window, the second takes off down a hall bleeding quickly and losing speed*
P1: Me

P1: I chase down the one in the hallway
GM: He's starting to slow down.
P1: *grabs NPC around the neck and throws him backward onto the floor*
GM: "I'll tell you nothing!"
P1: >:O "I DONT NEED YOU TO TALK!" *commence NPC pummeling*
P2: xD Poor guy.
GM: He just doesn't want to fail an HT roll today...
P1: "You can talk if it feels it'll help your situation!"

NPC didn't talk and eventually died. Think I showed a number of peeps how Bloodlust should be roleplayed that evening.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Speaking of memorable quotes, Jay Leno said:

"That was the most bugs released by Bill Gates since Windows Vista!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

The party is trapped in an old mansion they're investigating. The owner of the mansion, Danielle, before they became trapped, brought some additional support in the form of three werewolves. At this point, the police officer they brought with them, Cecilia, has started acting strange and is making a "sculpture" out of all the knives in the kitchen. Danielle has snapped her out of the trance she seemed to be in.

Danielle: Why did you start working on Devil's Tower over there?
Cecilia: I figured I should have a knife, for protection. I became fascinated by the light reflecting off of it.
Danielle (patting Cecilia's gun): That's what you have this for, silly.
Cecilia: I've only got seven shots left for it. I wanted the knife for when I ran out of bullets.
Danielle: We have werewolves, for when you've run out of bullets.
Cecilia: What happens when we run out of werewolves?
Chase (one of the werewolves): Then were screwed!

[edit]
-----
Superhero game; the supers are in the Bahamas, on vacation. Two of them (Heaven and Stephanie) have just come across a murdered (disemboweled) girl and followed some indistinct tracts to the ocean. They have followed the tracks into the ocean and found what appears to be an ancient road (ala Bimini) that has been recently disturbed.

Heaven: Crap, this leads into open ocean.
Stephanie: Yeah. We can keep going, I won't start getting tired for a few more hours.
Heaven: As much as I'd like that, we have no idea what we're looking for.
Stephanie: Yeah. We need Spongebob.
Heaven (and the rest of the group, ooc): Spongebob?
Stephanie: Yeah. He and Aquaman have the same powers, and Spongebob's cooler.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Samanoske Toga.
The Greatest, most epic, most heroic Ninja ever.
Died aged 500 and something, saving the next great hero by transferring his entire Life force into the lethally wounded Hero. Started as a PC in one RP and during the RP he died in was a NPC, both RPs have been very long running and Samanoske was by his death the Elminster or Dirizzit of the World (Unfortunately without the Patron Deity willing to bring him back though...and with more Ninja.)
---
One of the earlier Quotes when he was convincing the PC to let him give his life force to him was 'The world truly needs you more then it needs an old folk legend...'The Demon Ninja...'
---
Transcript of Death Conversation(This occurred in the time it took him to transfer his energy over to the PC):
Samanoske: 'Now...my parting give to the world... 'This is for you... (he hands you the Sword)...For my daughters... (he hands you a hilt) For...Ayame....'
Hotaka: "...D...Do you want me to...Tell Ayame anything for you...?"
Samanoske: (he takes off his wedding ring and hands it to you).... Her cooking was terrible... (he smiles) I can't believe I stood it for 500 years.'
Hotaka: "...*Little smile*...Can't say that...She'd kill me......I...I'm sorry...that this all happened...And...That you're having to die...*Sob* So Sorry..."
Samanoske: ‘...This is for Dujiro. 'Don't let her forget, okay? (he hands you half a locket)’
Hotaka: "...I..I won't Sir *Raise one hand painfully to my head and salute*"
Samanoske: 'Hey...hey...hey...slow down.. Sir? (he lowers your salute) Sir is for knights and noblemen... I was just a ninja... Born in the shadows.. And...now..finally, die in the shadows...'
Hotaka: "Yeah...But you were a Hero...And Heroes are always Sirs..."
Samanoske: 'Fitting that I should die quietly... is for my old blind friend. Well, I'm returning it actually... Hehheh... (he hands you a cane, with a massive sword on the end)....And well....'
Hotaka: "Yes...Mr Sam...Samanoske..."
Samanoske: I guess... I have one more gift... (he hands you a lump of damaged armour) 'Apologise to Garuo that I couldn't get him anything...better.....Well then...With that......Good luck...Sir Hotaka...' (he transfers the rest of his energy to you, then collapses)
Hotaka: "I...I'll try not to let you down...Sir...*Sob*"
(the prison world slowly starts to disappear...)
Samanoske :'Well....would you look at that......I get to meet the Goddess today...I'm sorry I'm late...'

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

It was during a game of "Ninjas & Super Spies" where one PC was a cyborg assassin whose 'baby' was a 38 revolver.

The GM asked each player what they were going to do now. When he asked this player (NOT me, by the way) what he was going to do, the player came up with this jewel and I quote:

"I'm just going to stay in the van and finger my pistol."

The game came to a screeching halt for about 10 minutes after that.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I'm having an effect on my co-workers . . . it's just taken 8 years.

G: "I'm sending it to the printer next to the manager printer."
J: "Oh, so it'll be in color."
Me: "Yeah, if it doesn't have bright, shiny colors, G loses interest in it."
G: Nodds in agreement "Pretty much."
J: "So, you have HD ADD?"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

SF game, Hero System.

A little background -- one of the players has a bad habit of announcing his character has a skill that isn't actually on his character sheet. A couple sessions ago, half the party was planetside and the other half was in orbit. The on-planet half needed to get back to the ship without anyone knowing, and since this wasn't a Star Trek game that meant the shuttle needed to be sent down.

Mr Bigmouth announced that he could pilot the shuttle, so he was given that assignment. This was going to call for some tricky flying, the "away team" was in what amounted to a redwood forest with very small clearings. We all discovered on the first piloting check that he didn't have Combat Piloting, only Transport Familiarity (which gives an 8- roll for anything difficult). He failed the first three piloting checks spectacularly, not quite managing to put a full grown redwood through one engine pod. He finally made the last roll, which meant the shuttle landed without further damage and was still mostly flyable.

One of the other characters, who is a pilot, pulled the shuttle door open and glared at Mr Bigmouth. "Get. Out. Of. My. {Bleep}. Chair!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

LOL. Must remember that as a disadvantage for an NPC.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"You crit-missed him?!"


My first D&D game I ran, I was taking the group through a forest.
Me: "As you come into the clearing, you hear a growl."
Dan (elf rogue): I scout ahead in the far end of the clearing.
Me: You take a few steps and then see a large tiger step out of the shadows.
Dan: (ooc) I'm gonna shank it! (rolls)
Me: Okay, you run up and attempt to stab it in the leg.
Group: What? In the leg??
Dan: Steph.... how big IS the tiger?
Me: Oh hey... it says 'Dire' next to it... does that mean anything?

I still haven't lived it down. Even now, when we're facing an enemy, it's always "How big IS the (insert creature here)?"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

That reminds me...

DM: You open the door to reveal a large room full of Duergar.
Me: I throw a Fireball in there.
Party: How big is Large?
DM <smiles>: Everyone make Saving Throws, if you fail, roll for your items too.
Me: Opps.


In the avoid a module a large room was a 10' by 10' room. Several party members failed their saves, and one of them ended up being gutted of all their items.
I took no damage all from the encounter, other than various party members trying to kill me from that point on.
Its amazing the loot you acquire from Self-Defense...

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

The first time my friends and I played D&D (the beloved "Keep on the Borderlands" module) our group encountered some Giant Ants. I asked Frodo, our DM how big they were, because you know, for an ant, "giant" could mean six inches long, or six feet long or big enough to cause small children to scream "THEM!!!"

Frodo refused to say how big the Giant Ants were. This is because, I later found out, that the module didn't say.

We were only First Level Characters. We decided to err on the side of caution. We hid and let the Giant Ants pass, hoping that they were really as big as we thought they were.

To this day, I have no idea how big a Giant Ant is supposed to be.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

According to the online SRD - a couple of versions later than the Keep, but still useful for this sort of thing - a soldier Giant Ant could reach 6 feet long, and a queen can hit 9 feet. That's what I'd call "THEM!" territory....

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm458398720/tt0047573

6 foot mandibles is THEM! (and It Came from the Desert) territory.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

THEM! was, for some inexplicable reason, billed as "Attack of the Giant Spiders" in Sweden. Just a curious fact.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

...
I'll bet there's an interesting story behind that.

Lost in translation? :)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"Bring me... Legos!"

Spoken in that overdone dialect only Mad Emperors and Criminal Masterminds sitting on their respective thrones can manage.

An out of game discussion about DC Heroes about fifteen years back centered around how ludicrous high levels of Charisma could get. The consensus was that a hypothetical abuser of this Uber-Power could order their minions to bring them Lego toys and they would do so ceaselessly until they literally fell over out cold or even dead. For months on end if they survived.

A few months later a GM from that group was running a Supers game where the ultimate villain was a small but very spoiled child running much of the Mid East by the time the players figured it all out...

By tracing a worldwide shortage of... Legos back to it's source.

***

"You Missed."

A *really* overpowered Monty-Haul player wanted to bring his character into a friend's AD&D game. The Friend looked over the situation, judged the likely competence of the player (not the character) and challenged him to face his own former character in a duel. This character had gone from 1st level to 20 the hard way and knew the system like the back of her hand.

One month to prepare. Meet in that clearing over there at midnight. If the Monty wins they get to be in the campaign. Ten followers, one henchman, two monsters each and the entire thing is run by three neutral GMs who are enforcing *every* rule in the book.

Midnight arrived and Monty (and crew) 'ports in to find the opposing Wizard apparently alone (her crew was hiding in the bushes and Monty never checked) in the clearing doing her nails with an emery board. There is some initial banter and she graciously gives the first attack to Monty. Monty and his entire crew start casting Meteor Swarm in unison and turn that entire side of the clearing into near-molten rock.

Except for a circle five feet wide around her feet that was inside the Wall of Force surrounding her. She looks up from doing her nails and says "You Missed."...

It got worse from there. Much, much worse. It might be the only time in my gaming life I felt sorry for a Monty-Haul PC. *shudders*

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

In some fantasy campign, we were (incompetently) investigating the assassination atempts on gthe king by somne unidentified ninjas. While rummaging through the Court Advisor's closet:

GM (in a sinister voice): "You find some clothing you had *not* expected to find!"
Player E (with a voice in disbelief, almost panick): "Women's clothes?????"

After a long time laughing the despairing GM had to point out in no uncertain terms that it was in fact a black ninja garb!

The same campaign saw a situation teaching us to pay attention and not interrupt the GM. It was during a fight occuring as we were raiding a fort, simultaneoursly with some other crooks:

GM: "Well, first off you see an armed man running towards..."
Player J (Had his bow ready and aimed at that place): "I shoot him!"
(rolls made)
GM: "You hit him in the neck, he goes down dead or dying..."
Player J: "Oh yeah!"
GM: "His 3 friends charge into melee with you!"
Player J: "Crap!"

Same campaign again, where we almost uttered out famous last words, just before we snuck into an orc encampment, intot he Shaman's tent to kill or capture him:

Player H: "Pfff, Shaman! That's just the orc with the best default on first aid!"
(Aaaaand, who can guess? This was actually the arch villain!)

In Cliffhangers, in an adventure bordering on an old west knock-off:

GM (Me): "The sheriff and his men ride up beside you, no guns drawn. Also a wagon stops, drops the tarp and you see 2 men with machineguns and 2 other men serving as loaders."
Player H (who is a gunslinger with guns 24): "I fast draw my peacemaker and cap the two guys on the left once in the head each.
GM (Me): "What? Shooter and loader?"
Player H: "Yes" (rolls dice) "I hit both"
GM (Me): "Sure, they go down. The other machinegun opens fire" (rolls lots of times "First burst hit with 3, second with 3, third burst...need I go on? All bullets easily do maximum blowthrough damage"
Player H: "What?"
Other Players: "MachineGUN, not MachinePISTOL!"
Player H (sighs): "Oh!"

So that's what we shout when someone obviously hasn't been paying attention, and they statements of actions reflect this. Player H especially.

In the same Cliffhangers campaign. We're in a major adventure involving the earth being hollow, and there are several highly evolved humanoid races down here. This particular one is sited at a great lake. We're in a bar, best described as a western saloon, having just made firends with the leader of the fishermen, a great local leader.
GM: "Some goons barge in, kicking the saloon doors open. By the look of it, theyre archenemies of the Fishermen. The lead goon says: I thought I told you to leave town before sunset!"

At first it seemed fine, what with the western setup, but being underground???

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

This one's got some backstory to it. Basically, in a D&D campaign, our rogue had to kill a town's leatherworker in order to join the assassin's guild. My character (a swashbuckler) had recently hired the leatherworker to make some wrist sheathes for him, and had then purchased some reagents to make poison and spent the night cooking up some nasty little concoctions. As the primary suspect in the murder (which the rogue botched up pretty well - turns out people scream if you forget to cover their mouths), my character was arrested. After a long time of framing some other guy for the killing, my character was set free and we all went about our business.

A good deal of time later, we found ourselves the proud new owners of a dragon's hoard. Using it, we basically made a small naval fleet and went about attacking an enemy port. Ever since the leatherworker incident, we had continously dogged the rogue's player about the whole affair, and as we were invading the port this somehow came to us calling out "Kill the leatherworker!"

Thinking about how the actual town's leatherworker would undoubtedly feel upon seeing a large fleet of ships raining down bolts and arrows on the city, whilst screaming such a battlecry, I felt compelled to act out what his most rational course of action would be. So I described (while pantomiming the whole thing) him running over to the blacksmith's shop, killing the blacksmith, picking up his tools, and running out screaming in a frantic voice (while holding up said tools) "I'm the blacksmith! I'm the <gosh-darned> blacksmith!" I think it took about 30 minutes before we could actually start playing again.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

The party is in Germany. One of the characters is a time traveller from the future (my character works for a different time traveller, so I have little patience for his ineptitude). The party (except for myself and Jamie) is involved in this HUGE debate on how time works.

Jamie: I'm a big fan of whatever will bring us more schnitzel.
Cheshire: That's "Lunchtime."
Jamie: I like "Lunchtime!"
Danielle (me): Time is an illusion. "Lunchtime" doubly so.
GM, Jamie, Dana (all OOC and in unison): Very deep. You should submit that Reader's Digest, they have a page for people like you.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Hmmm... Just remembered another one. It was my first game of Vampire: The Masquerade. I had a habit of explaining my actions with a decent amount of depth, such that the GM decided to generally not make me roll because "That's too cool to miss" (I tend to have really bad dice luck).

We were in a bar, where a Slayer (a la Buffy) had shown up and started trying to kill one of the characters. As the fight went on (and my Assamite continued to disarm - and later disrobe - the Slayer), the Slayer finally ripped up a barstool and started swinging with it as an improvised stabbing/bludgeoning device. Not missing a beat, my character dashed forward, grabbed the pointy end, assessed where the weakest point of the stool was, and struck full force. The stool broke, with a good deal of momentum carrying forward. My character converted this forward momentum into angular momentum to quickly spin himself around... and hit the Slayer in the side of the head.

GM: She goes flying out the window.
PC2 (upset): You never told me we were near a window!
GM: ... You weren't.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Cyberpunk aka splatterpunk

Party disarms My character. Mike the slighty crazed Hungarian mercenary.

Apartently, everything my character did unnerved the group of 5. They were totally convinced that they would die if Mike was near them.

The party had made off with some loot, part of the payment was for Mike.

Struggling free of his bonds, sees a Guard, nothing else to do but charge, Guard quakes and shoots rounds all over the place. Mike disarms Guard with a flurish (role of a 3!)

Group now making a get away can see what is happening and begin to panic. The Guard is dead and Mike wants his share!

Finds a motorbike and rides off in pursuit of the party!

Major panic set in and one of the party decides to throw a Grenade at Mike. However, being a grizzled war vet, swerves, bounces of his bike and back on again by another amazing dodge roll (another 3!)

Member in party... "HE'S INVINCIBLE!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"He's a loony!"

"Bike knights always triumph! Have at you!"

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Vampire the Masquerade game. Player one was a Malkavian, Player Two was a Gangranel, Player three was a Nosferatu. The Malkavian wasn't really Too Crazy (Hypagraphia, obsessive Writing) But everyone looked down on him anyway.
They were all sitting around Discussing a Plan to break into another Vampires Pent house.

P2: "Yeah, we can do it but he's got damn Guards, with training and Stake Guns...Stake Guns!
P3: Well...You're a Fighter type you sort them out, I'm mean you're tough!
P2: Yeah, I'm tough, but I'm not invicible am I?
P1:....I'm Invincible...
P2&3 Ignore him
*Keep arguing for about 3 minutes*
P1: I Said, I'm Invisible
P3: We heard you, we just didn't care.
P1: I'm not Kidding, I'm fine with being Staked, it doesn't hurt...well, it hurts but it doesn't kill me.
P2: Bull****. Now Shut up Or I'll Bl**dy Stake you myself.
P3: Yeah, Sure...Damn Crazy Malkavian...
P1:...I may be Crazy But I'm not a Liar...*Sigh*...I'm not going to convince you of this am I?
P2: No. You're not...So Shut Up.
P1: Right...*Thinks for a few seconds, stands up, picks up his Chair and smashes it over P2's head*
P3: What the F***!
P1: Only thing I could see nearby hard enough to break Wood. Now. Observe *Picks up a Chair leg with a Sharpened end and Drives it thought his own Chest. Drops to the Floor*
P3: Holy C*** on a Stick. Mike, Anderson Just killed himself! *Turns away to go get P4 Who's in the Kitchen
P1: *Leans over to the GM and whispers something*
GM: [P3] You feel a Pair of Arms Wrap around you in a hug, it's [P1]. You know because you can feel the Stake Sticking out of him...
P3: WHAT THE F***!!!
P1: Told you so...People always have considered me...heartless...
P3: What the Hell! Why arn't you dead!
P1:...*Thinks for a Moment then Says in a Bad Dracula Accent* You cannot Keel Me Victor...I am Already Dead...Heh...
P4: *Walks in just as P1 Pulls the stake out and put's P3's hand in the hole. Both PC's Faint IC*
P1:...*Calmly Heals himself with Blood Pool, Goes to sit down, Thinks for a moment, places the stake in P2's hand, Sits back down and Starts to write Gently* heh...Best Prank I've pulled in ages.

(When P3 Woke up)
P1: *Taps the hole in his chest, now encrusted in Blood* Well...Your turn to do it...Bet you can't.

(The Merit: Misplaced Heart and a Large Blood Pool are wonderful things if no one else knows about them. From that point on no one threatened the Malkavian.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

They obviously aren't Douglas Adams fans if they didn't recognize that quote.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I'm sorry to ask, but this is a joke, right?

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Joke? It's a quote by author Douglas Adams. I am pretty sure it's from "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I think Ford says it to Arthur, just before the alien construction crews arrive, "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." It wasn't intended as a joke.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

she turned me into a NEWT!...........but i got better.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

In fact, it's just after Ford has dragged Arthur away from the bulldozer threatening Arthur's house (by arguing the supervisor, Mr. Prosser, into lying in front of the bulldozer in Arthur's place), and taken him to the local pub. Ford buys six pints of bitters (to help cushion the shock of the imminent teleportation beam):

"Here, drink up. We've got three pints to get through."

"What, three pints? At lunchtime?"

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."

"Very deep. You should send that in to Reader's Digest, they've got a page for people like you."

"Drink up, Arthur. The world's about to end."

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

I see. I misread the situation entirely. Pardon me.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Exactly. Jamie made a reference that made it easy for me to quip off of. And, being as my character A, worked in a library, B, loved to read, and C, was annoyed at the inept time traveler, it was a perfect, in-character, statement.

Some of the players (including Cheshire, who refused to comment) recognized it. And responded accordingly.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Well any opportunity to quote Adams in context is golden.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Best... Quote... Ever!

At least to anyone who had the joy of being there.

A little bit of set up. Trust me, this one is worth it. Swallow your drink before you get to the punchline.

There is a local SF convention called 'Convergence' here in Minneapolis. Each year there is something of a theme, and for the year in question (this was four or five years back) the theme was 'Superheroes'.

A recurring panel (or running gag if you prefer) is known as 'SMACKDOWN!'. Various characters from the genre are placed in hypothetical combat and the panelists are invited (and encouraged) to be completely over the top (think WWF here) in their reasoning as to why A would or would not defeat B. Majority of the votes from the panel determine which one advances to the next round.

On the night in question we had the creators of Swamp Thing and Teen Titans actually there and in the panel.

A late arrival to the panel was Mercedes Lackey and her husband. Everybody likes her, so they let her sit up front and be a tie breaker. It should be noted that she is normally about the quietest and sweetest person in the room.


Getting down to the final rounds, we ended up with WONDER WOMAN facing off against SWAMP THING. It was a tie.

The emcee looks over to the tie breaker. The husband asks to have a moment to confer with his associate. There is some whispering, and he announces to the room that his partner would like to say something. She stands up and says TWO WORDS...


"Yeast Infection"


Bedlam ensues.

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

What do singing like a muse, being able to skate down a flight of stairs on a microphone stand, being able to turn onstage into a giant Spirit Fox with multiple tails, being able to burn down an entire City, creating illusions that can trick even the greatest man and being able to get away with telling a rich and influential Vampire club owner hes a 'concited toss pot' without any reprocssions all have in common?

They can all be excused away with the Excuse "Because I'm a Rawkstar..."

(Powerful Kitsune rockstar. Used that excuse whenever anyone saw him using his powers that wasn't meant to see them. He also claimed frequently to use 'The power of Rock', whenever anyone saw him using his powers)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

Not how I would have handled it. I'd have gone something like this:

Player H (who is a gunslinger with guns 24): "I fast draw my peacemaker and cap the two guys on the left once in the head each."
GM: "What's your character's intelligence?"
Player: "<whatever it was>".
GM: "Anything wrong with his eyesight?"
Player: "No."
GM: "Not being a complete moron and actually being able to see the scene, your character, unlike you, does not mistake machinePISTOLS for machineGUNS. Since it's obvious I want your characters to surrender for plot purposes, that's exactly what your character does."


Hans

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

"I shot a nuke/Into the air/And where it went/I do not care."

(And no, we weren't playing terrorists.)

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 

At which point I would have started making train sounds, gathered my stuff and left.

I have no problem with clairifying your point and verifying that the player does understand what was said, but dictating what they do when mind-control isn't involved is railroading.

Unlike the game from Sunday:
GM: I had expected Tetsu to be here, and the badguy was designed around having him here to soak up some damage . . . you may all die. Let's find out.