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-   -   Into The Labyrinth - a work of fiction (http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=158650)

zot 08-12-2018 03:00 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Terquem (Post 2201824)
Two of the small monsters moved left, away from Brendon, while the third moved toward him. The small creature was bringing back the strange spiked weapon with both hands, but Brendun’s sword was straight out and in one clean thrust he ran the small thing trough.

The sound of small flat feet slapping on the wet floor came from several directions as Tabitha dropped the brand beside the crossbow, examined it quickly and then went to work cocking it with a lever built into the side of the handle. She stood and drew a bolt from a pouch on her side and then felt a sting on her right leg. One of the creatures had struck her with something. The blow was not hard, but she knew it penetrated her leathers.

Alo moved just a short distance backward, as the two monsters that ran around Brendun came toward her from the left, and another two came at her from the right. Her strange slip, slide, and waving movement seemed to confuse the monsters and not a single one of them managed to land a blow on her.

Waiting to find out what these monsters are and more about the three main characters, especially Alo. I want to know more about Brendun and Tabitha, too, and about their past.

zot 08-23-2018 02:52 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Intriguing, I'm enjoying the background...

zot 08-27-2018 11:48 PM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
This getting deeper and more interesting. I like it!

Mike P. 08-29-2018 05:57 PM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Terquem (Post 2205946)
Again, thank you, Zot.

If anyone else has an opinion, or comment I would like to hear it.

Great stuff Terquem! I like the tension between the three characters. Now I want to learn more about the other two characters as well! Keep it up!

zot 08-30-2018 03:47 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Lurkers are like cockroaches -- for every replying member there are 15 more you don't see.

With 702 views for 24 messages, you appear to have about 30 people following your story...

CardDiceian 08-30-2018 03:58 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
I've been lurking....(or cockroaching), although that sounds a bit wrong.

Enjoying the story.

Mike P. 09-13-2018 07:41 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Love the story so far! Can't wait to find out more about the pirates and what is in the chest! Keep up the good work!

RVA_Grandpa 10-09-2018 11:37 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Great fight scene. I am loving this story more with every entry.

RVA_Grandpa 11-06-2018 07:25 AM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Terquem (Post 2220451)
snip

I am wondering if I should open a new thread for people to talk with me about the story, what works and what doesn’t, and how to possibly make it feel even more like a “The Fantasy Trip” – story

I’m sort of curious to get some feedback on this work, as I am not a professional writer.

Should I begin a chapter 3?

snip

Yes. Start a new thread. I have resisted writing comments because I didn't want to interrupt the flow of the story, which I think is great. I love the characters and the setting. Keep it going!

amenditman 11-06-2018 09:25 PM

Re: In The Labyrinth - a work of fiction
 
Great story. Keep writing please.


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