Hanky Panky in RPGs

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

If a player had said that they didn't have a problem with sexual situations of any stripe, and they had balked at your suggestion, we'd take them aside and find out where their issue is. They said they were okay, so why are they suddenly having a problem.

In the Call of Cthulhu campaign I currently play in, the GM asked us at the outside to give her a list of themes and motifs that would be too uncomfortable for us, taking it from pleasurable horror to excessive discomfort. (I mentioned "injury to the eye" motifs, for example.) One of my fellow players just wrote, "Bring it."

Now, his character is a loan shark, in 1947, who is cohabiting with his lady friend, to whom he is not married. Both of them are Roman Catholics. So in the first session, we had a woman friend of mine and of the GM's sitting in, in the role of the lady friend; and she made it plain that the lady friend was expecting. So we all got to watch the player sweat, and wonder how to deal with the situation. (So far, he's Doing The Right Thing.) But the GM carefully pointed out that he had written, "Bring it," and he agreed that yes, he had.

Bill Stoddard

[Ze'Manel Cunha]

Originally Posted by whswhs

The whole concept that sex is not interesting strikes me as weirdly alien and baffling.

I gotta agree with that, but over the years I've often had players who just don't like to talk about it.
I tend to consider that somewhat prudish, but I run what the players are comfortable with.

Though I have to add that over the years my female players are way more comfortable with the sex scenes than the male players are.

[Sydney]

I'd say that my sessions as well as the majority of the ones I've played in are PG to R for violence and what not, sex and romance isn't really given much thought at all...I wouldn't have a problem with it if it were introduced, don't know about all of my players though. Some would be cool with it I know for sure.

[RevBob]

As is my typical response in "how do you run your campaign" threads - it depends on the group. Heck, given the right amount of no-sleep and the right players, I'd run Toon as seen through a Xxxenophile lens. For that matter, I remember how bent a Chez Grunt game got one Sunday morning....

That's not to say the only way I'd handle sex in games is for comic effect, by a long shot. Again, depends on the game and the group. Back in ye olde Vampire game, one character decided to use his Presence discipline to increase his chances of seducing an NPC to make her help him recover the MacGuffin. Unfortunately, he didn't count on it backfiring; he got what he wanted in the short term, but when she had a chance to recover, she decided to get back at him. The seduction wasn't played out in graphic detail, but then, that level of detail wasn't really relevant in that case.

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by RevBob

As is my typical response in "how do you run your campaign" threads - it depends on the group.

In the abstract, I believe that this is true. The first principle of literary creation is to define your intended audience; once you know who they are, you find many decisions have a clear right choice. But in practice, I have found it possible to select my own groups, not only, in the short term, by putting together the player mix I want for each new campaign, but, in the long term, by inviting possible players to watch sessions of play and decide whether to sign up—which results in players who like my style joining the player population.

I feel more that it depends on the theme, the setting, the source material (if any), and the style. I ran a "teenage children of world famous scientists" campaign that had no sexual content at all; my Toon campaign and my Tolkienian campaign were both solidly G rated. On the other hand, my horror campaign focused on a colored sporting house in 1930s New Orleans was often X rated.

Bill Stoddard

[Mark Skarr]

Are we gluttons for punishment, Bill? I mean, we keep showing up, time after time, in these threads saying “yep, sex is fine in our games.” I know I’m here to make sure that people who want to include sexual-topics in their game can come in and say “Well, some people are enjoying it.” But, I’ve got that stigma of being the forum pervert (“Of course, HE enjoys it!”). Granted, I enjoy the stigma, people know what they’re going to get from me. ;-)

I understand how some people don’t like sex in their games (my sister is a prude, so I avoid anything beyond innuendo and fade-to-black).

For most new groups, I will start it out a bit slow and light on the sex. The most common form of resistance I’ve found is always “Well, I’ve had a girlfriend, so, I don’t need sex in my games!”

So have I. I choose not to reproduce because I’ve met my relatives. I’ve been shot at. Does that mean that I don’t need combat in my games?

Another form of resistance I’ve come across, which is somewhat valid, is “but, it’s just one person getting the spotlight, at least we’re all involved in combat.”

Why aren’t you involved? I try to give everyone equal time. If you’re not getting time, you might want to see why. If it’s my fault, let me know, please, I’m not perfect. If I’m giving you time, but you’re not taking it, then, that’s something you need to work on, not me.


Both Gummi and I are running high-school-teens supers games. I can’t speak for other people, but MonkeyFist and I both went to the same high school and there was a lot of sex going on. And I don’t mean the bragging kind but the “oh, hey, can I get my binder there? Thanks” kind. I can remember three, separate occasions that I leant my car keys to friends with the “just don’t drive anywhere” caveat. So, to me, any high school game would have a fair amount of sex. Plus, they’re supers.

That’s not to say that you couldn’t have a super-teens game without any sex. But, you’d have to tell me that going in and I’d have to recalibrate my willing suspension of disbelief.

The one thing I’ve never done is have a sexual scene be the . . . oh, I’m so sorry climax terribly, terribly sorry, it’s the only word of a campaign. I’ve had some scenes that were absolutely vital to a campaign, but none that ended it. I’ve had a couple where, at the end, someone would comment “you know, this whole mess could have been avoided if [insert BBEG] could have just got lucky.”

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

Another form of resistance I’ve come across, which is somewhat valid, is “but, it’s just one person getting the spotlight, at least we’re all involved in combat.”

Why aren’t you involved? I try to give everyone equal time. If you’re not getting time, you might want to see why. If it’s my fault, let me know, please, I’m not perfect. If I’m giving you time, but you’re not taking it, then, that’s something you need to work on, not me.

In my campaigns, sex is hardly the only thing that puts one person in the spotlight. Many of my campaigns have a series of scenes with one or two people on stage, doing a variety of different things, some task-related, some purely for characterization. In fact, I'm a big proponent of the "day in the life" scenario, where all the characters are sent out to do what they do when they're not adventuring, to help the audience get to know them. (The "audience" being the other players.)

A big part of the enjoyment of gaming, for me, is seeing the players do interesting character portrayals and good dialogue. I expect my players to enjoy that as well. I think that a player who gives good characterization is contributing to everyone's enjoyment. And sexual and romantic scenes are a good opportunity for characterization.

I think, for example, of my Zimiamvia campaign, where Van and Cassandra, who had become established as a couple, got into a situation where his actions offended her. Eventually she came back to their tent, shouted at him, and wrestled him to the ground . . . and, well, with the bodily contact implied by the wrestling, the mood changed, and eventually the tent collapsed around them from the thrashing around. . . . Now that was entertaining to all the other players. It didn't matter that they were off stage; they were the audience, and Van's and Cassandra's players were getting their turn to entertain them.

Bill Stoddard

[Mark Skarr]

As I said, it was somewhat valid. If I'm actually neglecting someone, I need to know that. And, if someone feels neglected, I want to know that so I can help them.

I don't consider a sex scene any less valid than any other day-in-the-life scenario. If you want to go work on your car on your day off of adventuring, have fun (Ryland). If you're just going to go into your adopted father's library and read all day, fine (Anastasia). But, honestly, don't expect much spotlight as you're really not doing anything interesting. Sure, it does tell us a lot about your character, but it really isn't anything that would make for an entertaining show.

Now, if you're (Brandi) going to go out and pick up a guy for some hot, kinky sex . . . that could be interesting, and would tell us a great deal about the character. There would be interaction, things to do, people to talk to, rolls to make. That will get the spotlight for a while.

If you and your SO (Anastasia and Damien) are going to crawl under the covers and spend all day with each other, that could be interesting, or it might not be. That's up to the players. Do they have something to show the audience, or is it just that they love each other and would rather spend as much time as possible together? I would let the players decide on this (it's been relevant a couple of times, like when Mikhail barged into Ana's room because he had never heard her making those noises before . . . he knew what they were, he'd just never heard Ana making them before and was worried about her); I wouldn't mandate a played-out sex scene.

[Ramidel]

I'm hardly ever "uncomfortable" with anything sexual; may be a brain miswire. That said, normally I keep things R-rated in public forums out of a personal distaste for exhibitionism. (Note: I very, very rarely play a face-to-face game anymore, and most of those are with pickup groups.)

If the actual sex drives a point, then play it as hard as you need to. For instance, stunting the Performance roll in Exalted may be one thing. If what you're doing, specifically, is plot relevant, play it out in full detail. (I've known a few characters who get very specific in their "interrogation" of their enemies; using Sex Appeal to supplement Torture Interrogation is -vile- but I'm sure everyone knows it's also -done-.)

If it's just sex, no need to clutter up public threads with the activities of the three people and two dogs involved, nor whatever equipment they're using. That said, I'm not going to worry about it too much if it does break loose for no apparent reason (if only due to the possibility of awesome ensuing). I'm just usually the sort to personally prefer moving my sex to private threads.

The romance aspects, of course, are always playable. And I doubt anyone's going to be squicked out by the fact that Tentacle Monster A and Neko Schoolgirl B are kissing and cuddling. ...um... you know what I mean. If said two individuals are falling in love, that's very much relevant to any and all possible plots. And I find that the process of seduction is as important as the dice rolled for it, even in Dogs In The Vineyard or Exalted.

[whswhs]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

I don't consider a sex scene any less valid than any other day-in-the-life scenario. If you want to go work on your car on your day off of adventuring, have fun (Ryland). If you're just going to go into your adopted father's library and read all day, fine (Anastasia). But, honestly, don't expect much spotlight as you're really not doing anything interesting. Sure, it does tell us a lot about your character, but it really isn't anything that would make for an entertaining show.

My Transhuman Space campaign had huge amounts of "day in the life," even outside of the session dedicated to it, which stretched out to something like four consecutive sessions. We had the team's forensic scientist painting and cooking incredible meals; the auditor playing saxophone in a jazz club, under a false ID, because his parents didn't approve; the hacker playing VR games and going to memetic therapy sessions to teach her to interact with people who weren't sociopaths; the face and the street op boxing, playing poker, and going to Rick's Café Américain to drink together, and the street op arranging horseback riding lessons for his daughter, while the face took the forensic scientist to Vienna for a night at the opera. . . . and then at the climax, I had a guest NPC come in to do team building exercises for the firm, which really, really needed them.

Then there was the entertaining hour or two in one of the final sessions when the Montréal child welfare agency sent the street op streetcam footage of his 11-year-old daughter smoking a cigarette with a fellow dance student, and obviously not her first one, and he enlisted the hacker to figure out why her implant hadn't notified him before the government did.

There are no dull activities, only dull players. "How well do you do X, how do you go about it, how do you cope with success/failure, please suggest what actually happened when you made that critical success/critical failure" works for just about anything.

Bill Stoddard