ROAD TRIP! [Extreme Humor]

[Mark Skarr]

What? Am I going to have to start one of these things? The only thing I would do, without a lot of preparation, would be a “road trip!”

1. This is extremely free-form humor at its . . ., um, . . . worst?

2. Feel free to join in.

3. You’re playing yourself (or at least your avatarish-self).

4. The destination isn’t nearly as much fun as the catastrophes we cause on the trip.

5. The driver’s seat is reserved for the owner . . . so at this point, the driver’s seat would be reserved for Evil Stevie. That does mean that for most of the trip we’re drifting around, out of control. The only person who has ever been able to seize control from the owner, in the past has been the mythical entity “Firemind.”

6. No one defaces the bust of “Firemind” on the dashboard. He’s our dashboard diety.

7. Respond to each other in humorous ways.

8. This is a family thread, so keep it clean.

9. Don’t take anything too seriously.

10. It’s like Toon, mixed with IOU and a healthy dose of Paranoia.

11. This will last as long as it does before Beth comes after us with her +5 flaming wiffle-bat of extreme and never-ending pain, or Andrew begins thumping us with his Grammar Codex of Slaying.

(Has anyone got the impression that I’ve been waiting for an excuse to launch a Road Trip?)

[Mark Skarr]

A crash like thunder fills the air and from high above a beat-up Ford Fiesta falls to the earth with a shuddering thud. The hood pops open and one of the doors falls helplessly off. However, a larger, more menacing shadow soon covers the helpless vehicle.
A gigantic, armor-plated RV appears and smashes into the tiny supercompact Ford. The RV’s wings (it has wings? Yes, four of them now!) dip slightly and the gigantic jet engine mounted precariously on top strains its mounting brackets.
Along the side the name CMP Sick Puppy has been colored over (with what looks to be crayon) and in bold, silver letters (still looks like crayon) the name SJG Perverse Puppy has been written in.
With a crash the side boarding ramp extends and the door opens to reveal Mark Skarr, the forum pervert, standing inside.

“All aboard for a Road Trip!”

[Sylver]

I'm bringing the chips and popcorn! :)

Oh - do we have a microwave? It will make the popcorn taste better! :)

[Lonewulf]

Let's get the party on the road.

I'm riding shotgun... with my shotgun. *Chk-chk*

[Mark Skarr]

We do have a microwave! It's part of the Jamming Frammis. I do ask that it not be used when we attempt hyperspace travel. No, we're not equipped with a hyperdrive, but that hasn't stopped us in the past.

You're fine there, in front, Lonewulf, just keep an eye out for other cars, trucks, trains, mis-routed 747s, Ogres, asteroids. Pretty much anything that might get in the way.

Give me a second here to release the parking break.
**EGNUGH!**
And now I'll light up the jet engine.

Hold on to your hats, kiddies, we're in for a bumpy ride!

[Lonewulf]

I roll against my Shouting skill.

Critical Success! I shout "YEEHAWWWWWWW!" with *style*.

[Mark Skarr]

Oooh. Be careful there, Lonewulf, the anti-redneck/ejection-seat/cuisinart might get confused and go off if you exhibit too many NASCAR habits. We had to disconnect that from the Jamming Frammis because it got really confused once it had four jobs.

Screaming is fine, and encouraged.

All right, the jet engine seems to be up to speed. Let's open the throttle and see what this baby can do!

**Whir-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r** Wheeze! Ch-chug! Put-put-put-put-put.

Well, that was less than inspiring!

[Lonewulf]

While you're distracted, I roll my BS Hacking skill (so-called because I got a BS degree in it), rerouting your car's computer system to be more focused on the cuisinart occupation, with the added addition of now being a toaster and an expresso machine.

I then realize that, this being a nerd skill and not a redneck skill, was a lesson in wasted time...

[Mark Skarr]

I suppose you can reconfigure the anti-redneck/ejection seat to make coffee . . . but, since you're sitting on it, that might be a little dangerous. We should probably get some more passengers, and turn one of them into a espresso machine.

[MIB 1473]

I'm huddled in the wheel well, chewing on a seat belt.