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Old 10-22-2007, 10:10 AM   #101
BLloyd607502
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

this one explains itself.
GM: You're such a noob. I bet you don't even know what RPG stands for.
Player (Steve):I do!
GM: What does it stand for then?
*Player 2 (Richard) walks in*
*Player 1 pauses for a second then smiles and says*
Player 1: Richard's Playboy Grotto!

Yeah...

Last edited by BLloyd607502; 10-23-2007 at 01:37 AM.
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:58 AM   #102
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

from a Star Wars game that ended a couple weeks ago

Jedi Master: "A Jedi feels the force flow through them."

PC1 (out of game): like Montezuma's revenage?

Everyone: EWWWWW
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:58 PM   #103
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Second DnD session ever.....



I was CG human cleric.

Ohh a dark tunnel! *charges down it*
Brick falls on my head.


Doesnt take me out, I heal myself.

Get to a pit with water at the bottom.

Ranger gets across no problems.
I get him to tie a rope to something and try to jump off and swing across the pit in my full plate.

Fail check..... swing headfirst into wall of pit, knocking myself out and falling into the water. Start to drown.

Need to be rescued by the ranger.


DM: I should change your alignment to stupid.
Me: Heh... CHAOTIC STUPID!!
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Old 11-25-2007, 09:29 AM   #104
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

5 minutes ago. Player describing her PC to another player, in an introductory situation (both have guns pointed at each other): 'A girl with a female stature, leathery wings, dark-grey skin, and neutral Appearance.'
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Old 11-25-2007, 09:32 AM   #105
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Other PC's thoughts spoken out loud by the player: 'I wake up all alone, I can't reach command, and now my submarine can't float because some grey-winged **** stole the ocean!'

Note: Originally, the word 'stole' was replaced by another expletive with the same meaning.

Note 2: Since one person already PMed me to ask for an explanation . . . The word in question is a Russian verb meaning 'to (successfully) steal' created by adding the suffix -it' and the prefix s- to the expletive word used to denote female genitalia. Not to be confused to a similar word with the suffix -et' and no prefix, which means 'to lie'.
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Last edited by vicky_molokh; 11-25-2007 at 02:18 PM.
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Old 11-25-2007, 10:30 AM   #106
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

DnD 3.5 game. New club. Most of the chars are being unresponsive zombies, but one char (a munchkiny, rules lawyer Catfolk Ranger w/ ungodly DX @ lvl 1) always does some retarded stuff that really makes me question his CG alignment.

After being transported through a natural sewer spring to Rokugan (OA) and leaving a heavily enchanted cave to prevent demonic comings/goings...

They arrive outside to a very large plains. Dead bodies scattered around. Behind you is a massive 300 foot wall @ the foot of a mtn. There are people you can barely see above you muttering in a weird language.

Language problems ensue, apparently Orcish isn't favored=hail of arrows=everyone hid in bamboo thicket=found by 30 ppl regiment of soldiers=Elven is understood and jail escort ensues to top of wall. Catfolk randomly jumps out of thicket and attempts to kill a random NPC.

A small battle ensues and he is eventually dropped in prison with the rest of em. He then repeatedly attempts to kill and loot the original guard 3 times in his cell. Eventually he is hung over the wall. 1 rope per limb. It gets dark, guards place burning torches over his head dripping sparks.

GM: It's getting dark. Out in the distance you see a large mass of glowing green spheres. The archers above start shouting and shooting.

Catfolk: "Oh crap...I try to get out of the ropes."
GM: Ok. (wait for details)
Catfolk: I cut the hand ropes.
GM: You fall straight down and manage to nearly break your nose on the wall below. (By now his fights with the guards have managed to get him shanked in the gut, punched, etc so he is pretty close to being dead...)
Catfolk: DANGIT! Can't I just jump?
GM: It's 300 ft.
Catfolk: Soooooooo?
GM: Go ahead. Try it.

Needless to say he didn't try it, but he did question it many times. Not to mention ask for tons of XP for killing a non-essential cannon fodder NPC.

Then later on in game we got to a port city (they returned to their original world and stole a boat. The paladin is not pleased. Oh yeah the catfolk as managed to get into an incredible bar fight and stole about 10 bottles of rum.

Paladin: You guys aren't being evil are you?
CatfolkPC1/PC2rogue: No...
Paladin: Detect lies.
PC1/PC2: Rolls (6)
Paladin: Rolls....1.

Then the boat had to be named...
Catfolk: The Mauve Avenger (pronounced MAA-UVE)
Rogue: The Mauve Avenger: The Reckoning (pronounced MOO-UVE)
This vicious fight went on for about 3 mins. Then the paint color was decided: Purple and Black.
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Old 11-27-2007, 03:40 PM   #107
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

This one just came up.

The players had been hired to acquire certain documents that the owner would have preferred to keep hidden. On the way out a confrontation with the guards ensued which left the players pinned down in an office above the thirty story mark.

NPC: Throw down you weapons and surrender! We have you outnumbered at eleven to four.

PC: Can we have a minute to discuss this?

NPC: One minute!

(Much pointless debate amongst PCs)

NPC: Your minute is up! What have you decided?

PC: Well, eleven doesn't divide evenly by four. Could you call some reinforcements?
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Old 11-30-2007, 02:04 AM   #108
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

In a RP in which they were all police in the future. The Pc in question had a gas mask implanted into his throat and filters custom built into his clothes and skin.
NPC being held hostage: Help!
NPC Robber: Try to stop me and I kill her.
PC: Take me instead I'm worth more.
*The trade is made*
NPC Commander through head peice: What are you doing.
PC: Dont worry. Its okay I'm a PC.
NPC: ...What?
PC:(Knows the GM will dock him CP for the OOCI)...Patrol Cop. I have a plan.
*Robber goes into elevator. A few seconds later tear gas starts seeping under the door. Door opens PC walks out dragging the robber*
NPC commander: What was that? (Tear gas is illeage when not issued, the PC bought it himself black market)
PC:...I...um......
NPC Commander: ...Yes go on.
PC: I had onions for tea!
---
And another my Brother wants to add.
In a evil genius RP one Mad scientist player (Me) created a giant group of evil shep who in turn created evil Nazi sheep robots. After a large battle in which the origionals killed the nazi sheep which one character hadn't noticed since he had locked himself in his room while buying and selling stocks to make money.
PC 1 (Money maker): ...what happened?
PC 2 (Mad scientist): Evil sheep war. *Starts loading bodies into a freezer.
PC 1: So while I was making a multimillion pound empire you made evil sheep wars.
PC 2: Yeah but look on the bright side
PC 1: What?
PC 2: We have enough mutton for years.

Last edited by BLloyd607502; 11-30-2007 at 02:15 AM.
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Old 11-30-2007, 10:53 AM   #109
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Original Rules Traveler game...5 PC's in Battle Dress, one (mine) a former IBIS agent with no armor. We're inside a pirate stronghold, and realize that the next room has several guards in battle dress with plasma guns--on the other side of a fairly narrow door.

My character turns to the others, and she says, "Plasma...very dangerous...I'll go first."

She then pops the door open, and gets in among them before they can react. 5 dead pirates later (and with no tell-tale plasma discharges) the party realizes what "former IBIS agent" really implies. (This variant enlists at 18 for a 20 year term, minimum....and musters out physically still 18. Survival rolls make life as a marine commando look dull.)

Since then, whenever I say, "Very Dangerous...I'll go first..." they usually let me...

(Some of us had just watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark)
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Old 12-01-2007, 03:41 AM   #110
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

This happened about three years ago and we still reference to it today.
One of the characters was a exceccivly violent coffee obsessed vampire who had been known to evicerate people with her bare hands for not saying thank you.
The other was playing a naive amnesiatic shapeshifter who knew hardly anything and was a really nice guy.
This scene happened in a Inn while on the groups travels. The vampire had just ordered a lamb shank. The shapeshifter hadn't decided what to have

PC1 (Shapeshifter): Any Idea what I should have Lira?
PC 2 (Vampire): Try the lamb Shank its very good.
PC 1: Can I try some of yours see if I like it.
PC 2: *Finishes it off* If I had any left I would share it with you But I don't sorry.
*PC 1 player thinks for a second. writes something down passes it to GM. GM reads it. Looks at him with a look of 'are you serious' PC 1 Nods. GM passes note to everyone but the Player of PC 2. It says 'I kiss her. Lick her lips to taste the lamb shank' Everyone looks at him*
GM: Okay. Its your funeral. (To Player of PC 2) Before you can react Doran leans across the table and kisses you on the lips. It lasts a few seconds then you part.
PC 1: *Licks his lips, nods* Yeah, that is good. (To waiter) I'll have the lamb Shank please.
PC 2: (Fails a will roll against Dorans apperance) *Blushes* I...I..I.I...I have to go somewhere *Runs off*.
PC 3 (Human sitting at a nearby table): Doran you sly dog.
PC 1: I know. She hasn't eaten her dessert!

PC 2 didn't evicerate him to everyones suprise.

Last edited by BLloyd607502; 12-01-2007 at 12:32 PM.
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