Memorable Quotes.

[Humorme]

The game was a throw together for three of us nerdy types one evening while we were exceptionally bored. Given their intelligence (real life), they should have known better...

On a small space craft in... err... space...

P1: I attempt to body slam him.

GM: Okay, roll... Good job!

P1: I did it? Nice! But I don't "slam" him. I want to hold him over my head where he'll be pretty helpless.

GM: Ummm, okay. Well, I suppose you're strong enough for that...

P1 (to P2): Open the airloack.

P2: Okay!

GM: Errrmmm... okay, guys... are you sure you wanna do that?

P1 and P2: Yeah!

GM: ...

P2 looks at P1, they exchange questioning glances, shrug...

P2: I open the airlock.

GM: Okay...

Then a wall of realization struck both players at the same moment. The look on their faces was priceless and given my far-more-than-fair warning, they knew there was no take-backs.

[Agemegos]

Originally Posted by Humorme

P2: I open the airlock.

GM: Okay...

Then a wall of realization struck both players at the same moment.

What? I don't get it.

[Flyndaran]

Originally Posted by Agemegos

What? I don't get it.

Maybe they forgot to put on their space suits?
Or forgot to tether themselves to something?

[Mgellis]

My gaming group is mostly d20 players (our "house rule" is that whoever GMs gets to choose the system and the setting, and we rotate between GMs every few months). Like many d20 players, much of their time is spent complaining about d20 and its many sins.

(The weird thing about all this is that the more I play d20, the less these things bother me. It's my friends who have been devoted to D&D for twenty years who are always frothing at the mouth. I think it's just that I've come to accept d20 for what it is--quite good for certain kinds of gaming but not really suited to other kinds, so it is silly to expect it to do well--and so its failings just don't bother me much anymore. It is what it is.)

Usually, about five or ten minutes into the lamentations, and not so much because I'm trying to argue with them but because I know it will get a rise out of them and I just can't help myself, I will say one of two things...

Mark: Would this be a bad time to mention that none of these problems exist in GURPS?

or...

Mark: You know, in GURPS you can do it this way [holds up a solution to a problem that has been argued about for 30 minutes, sketched on a piece of notebook paper in about 30 seconds]

Am I bad person because I enjoy tormenting my friends like this? Of course I am. It's part of my charm. :)

Mark

[Blood Legend]

Originally Posted by Mgellis

Am I bad person because I enjoy tormenting my friends like this? Of course I am. It's part of my charm. :)

Mark

Nah, not at all. It's called being a GM, we get to be sadistic. For the rest of it, we call that being a 'Gurps Player.' We're used to our particular game system solving 99% of any problems.

[Mark Skarr]

I had to make this picture before posting this long quote:

Mahou (MonkeyFist): “You can’t go in there! Everyone who has, died; their souls were devoured.”
Brandi (Me): Leans in and kisses Mahou. “It’s okay, love. I’ll be fine.” Brandi pushes the doors open and turns her back to the door and gives a telling smile to Mahou.
Mahou: (Player figures it out and smiles)
Gummi (GM): A pair of arms reach out and pull you into the house. You’re at a DCV of 0, I’m not going to roll.
Brandi: Plfth! She’s not going to resist. Does it hurt?
Gummi: Not until you slam into the ground; take 15 stun.
Brandi: “Ow!” I am not, however, stunned.
Gummi: The ghost moves over you and smiles triumphantly down at you.
Brandi: What a coincidence . . . so is Brandi. Her eye fires are flickering.
Gummi: Huh? Does Brandi affect Desol?
Brandi: Yes, but that’s not why she’s smiling. “You think you’ve won, don’t you?”
Gummi: “By coming in here your life and soul are forfeit.”
Brandi: (to MonkeyFist) don’t think he’s figured it out yet. “Putting the cart before the horse, a little, aren’t we?”
Gummi: (Slightly confused look on his face) “When I consume your . . .” (Gummi’s face drops and his voice trails off)
Ray: (Channeling Shutterbug) *CLICK* That’s five pictures of Irony!
Brandi: (huge smile) Go ahead, Gummi! Say it!
Gummi: Oh, (Expletive deleted)!
Brandi: The ghost wants to say “when I consume your soul,” right?
Gummi: (clutching his head in defeat.) Uh-huh. It gets difficult keeping track of all the <bleep>ed up things that have happened to your characters sometimes.
Brandi: And what is Taraxus, the demon-prince you put inside of Brandi to give her powers, going to have to say about that?
Gummi: He’s gunna come out and eat the ghost.
Brandi: “I love it when a plan comes together.”
Mahou: I break out the marshmallows and pompoms.
Eva: Pompoms?
Mahou: This is where two of Gummi’s diametrically opposed baddies get to duke it out. We cheer for our favorite.
Brandi: It’s like a fight between Tool and Radiohead: Assuming they kill each other, the world wins.

It was a long way to go for a stupid, Something Awful quote. But just watching Gummi’s face drop when he realized he had screwed himself was priceless.

[quarkstomper]

In my Saturday Morning Travelling Rock & Roll band campaign, the band (The Evil Bunnies) were in Tokyo where the group's techie, J.B. is mistaken for a hit man who's been hired by the Yakuza to assassinate the Pope. (Why does the Yakuza want to kill the Pope? Actually, the players never asked so we never found out).

At one point in the game, I had an NPC suggest that the group's roadie, Dick Dimple (yes, that's the character's name) disguise himself as the Pope to act as a decoy.

DICK: There's no way that could possibly work... But I've always wanted to try out that hat. Go ahead. Pope me!

[BLloyd607502]

Scene from a recent Supers RP of ours:
PC 1 was playing the First recorded super, a super with Regeration 9, he literally couldn't die, if he was totally destroyed then his body would regrow from the remains within 10 minutes to 2 days. He was over 13100 years old (Born about the same time people started making pots) and had lived up until the modern age as a scholar and warrior, when he got into a fight his regenration starts to speed up and he was currently a history professor at a university, well known for being a bit stuffy, boring and rather detailed with his history. PC2 and 3 were students of his, PC 2 actualy being his most recent Great-Great-ect-Grand daughter.
There had just been a battle between him and another teacher who had power stealing and had been using it, teleport, invisibility, telekenisis, pyrokenisis, cytokenisis, and other things. The battle had been raging for quite a while and the Pro had managed to grab a metal ruler which had been flying around.

GM: Right, PC1, suddenly the entire room explodes, you don't even had a chance to roll out the way, the shrapnel pins you to the blackboard straight through your body.
NPC Villan: (Invisible) Well...are you going to give me what I want? You have a pretty cool power...being able to live forever...I wouldn't mind having that...
PC1: Go F*** yourself *Wrenches himself off the wall. the wounds start closing.* ...I'm guessing that you were the Transgenic that killed Class 32...tehy were your class, your students...Why?
NPCV: Well. They were in my way...
PC1: ...your a teacher you scum, your meant to be a hero, even if they don't appreciate it you should help them...not...not kill them like sheep.
*After a long battle PC1 ends up being welded to the floor with ice and then PC 2, 3 and a NPC back up come in. NPC back up Throws the bad guy through the window and runs downstairs to arrest him*
GM: Right, PC2 and 3, you see Professor D. Grey, your history teacher standing in the middle of the blow out class room, his hair has grown down to his waist and his neatly cut beard has grown into a shaggy Viking style one. This, plus the fact he is now wearing pretty much a loincloth and that he has a long sharp peice of meta in one hand makes him look a bit like one of the old Barbarian heros from the stories...
PC2: W..What happened?
PC1: Professor Crayworth, from class 32, he was the rouge Transgenic...He has Telekinisis, Invisiblity, Cytokenisis...
Voice from no where: ...Teleportation...
GM: You see a pair of metal spines from thin air Drive through Olivers (PC3s) neck, he gurgles fora second then drops. Crayworth appears grinning twists off his head and throws the body to you (PC1), waves then disappears with the head.
PC1:.........*Roars to the sky, incredible Barbaric roar from the time before time*
PC3:...Damn, I hate when that happens...
PC 1 & 2: ...What?
GM: PC3s head regrows.
PC3: I really hate it when that happens...What?
PC2: ...Dude...your head regrew
PC3: Duh, I'm a Transgenic too, Invunrability. Woah...prof...Nice beard...Like 'Conan' look
PC1:...*looks at the beard*...Cheers...

[bennyj]

scenario: 7 PC's have looted a temple on a volcanic island and are attempting to load a raft with treasure and escape as the lava works its wat towards them.

"i take the raft and sail off"

6 other PC's look up in shock!

[vicky_molokh]

From my Urban Decay Playground campaign/experimental run, last Saturday:

Bioroid: Who am I?
MedBot (a medical robot): (silence).
'Roid: Human?
Bot: No.
Roid: Robot?
Bot: No!
Roid: Then what?
Bot: Definitely not a typewriter.
Roid: Oh. Maybe I'm a cyborg?
Bot: Not necessarily.
Roid: Then what else can I be?
Bot: Definitely an unprintable character [as in, a symbol not found on the keyboard].

Roid: Bot, there's a wounded person in the engineering bay!
Bot: Error: too many wounded for no human survivors.
Roid: What?
Bot: I said, can't have 1 wounded per 0 survivors.

Bot: Do not worry, help is already coming.
Roid 1: And how long is this 'help' going to keep coming?
Bot: Until death.
Roid 2: So the help is delivered in the form of death?
Bot: That might not be necessary.

Roid: Bot, can you replace the window in the control room.
Repair Bot: No. While window replacement is in process, unauthorized entities, such as insect, will infiltrate the control room without the captain's permission.