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Old 06-05-2012, 02:39 PM   #681
Rocket Man
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Longmont, CO
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

The PC, a super-gadgeteer named Mist, is talking with her new husband about her twin sister Rain, a tough-minded billionaire. The twins are both Buddhist, but while Mist practices more traditional meditation, Rain finds her focus through more ... intimate activities.

Husband (Steve): "So you're saying that her wanting to get me into bed is a holy duty?"
Mist: "Well ... that's not entirely true. When I meditate, it's not holy duty, it's me centering myself and becoming harmonious with the universe."
Steve: "As opposed to Rain, who becomes self-centered and thinks she is the universe?"
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Old 06-09-2012, 07:18 AM   #682
Humorme
 
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: south carolina, US of A
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Me: Let's see, with bonuses and all, that should make my total to hit roll a 16.
GM: Okay, you hit.
ME: No. Wait. A 15. I was referencing my usual weapon bonus which is a masterwork. I'm assuming the kobold I'm wielding is not masterwork quality.

As an orc who was trying to help save some people, my character kept trying to communicate with kobolds in common. He soon learned that most kobolds don't speak common, so naturally started shouting at them in common.

Other party member: "They don't SPEAK common! Speaking louder and more slowly doesn't make them understand the language!"
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Old 06-09-2012, 10:46 PM   #683
Celti
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA, Arizona, Mesa
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Zombie apocalypse game. I send a text message to a missing NPC.

"The zombies haven't gotten you, have they?"
He texts back "Braaaaaains."
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Old 06-10-2012, 07:55 AM   #684
Hans Rancke-Madsen
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Humorme View Post
Other party member: "They don't SPEAK common! Speaking louder and more slowly doesn't make them understand the language!"
No, you have to stick an '-a' at the end of every other word.


Hans
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Old 06-10-2012, 02:02 PM   #685
robkelk
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From a slightly-dark Marvel supers game:

"Fury, if you don't want us destroying your secret bases, tell us about them!"
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:28 PM   #686
Mark Skarr
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Location: Somewhere high up.
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Heh! From a different game, many moons ago, we were in a similar situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robkelk View Post
"Fury, if you don't want us destroying your secret bases, tell us about them!"
(our person wasn't Nick Fury, but I could see him saying these things)
Fury: "Then they wouldn't be secret anymore."
Brandy: "What are you going to tell their families? Training accident?"
Fury: "What do you think?"
Brandy: "And the radiation burns? And the transformations into . . . what are those anyway? And what about the four that accidentally transcended to the next level of evolution? Seriously, if you want to keep these things from happening, you should really let our liason know."
Fury: "You just need to be more careful."
(Entire party laughs)
Brandy: "Oh, but why do you think we're called 'International Incident?' Seriously, give Ford a call, she'll be happy to keep you out of our line of fire."
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:08 AM   #687
Palmer
 
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver BC Canada
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Marvel Heroic RPG. Just a quickie game with random heroes.
Tony Stark is escorting a scientist with an important briefcase of SCIENCE! handcuffed to him on a commercial passenger jet (using civilian jet as a form of camouflage). With him are Luke Cage and Peter Parker.

Suddenly, ninjas jump on the fuselage and start cutting into the cabin with a katana!

Parker goes first, declares he's rushing for the bathroom to get changed.
Feeling a bit snarky, I hand him a plot point and declare

"It says Occupied. And you think you smell smoke from inside"
As I'm saying this, our last player arrives, a bit late. Everyone has a good laugh at the awkwardness and someone screwing up heroing because they had a nic fit.

When it gets around to the latecomer's turn, I say "So what are you going to do Sean?"

His response was golden.

"So Wolverine emerges from the bathroom with the stub of his cigar in his mouth..."
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Old 07-06-2012, 01:52 AM   #688
DarthViper3k
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Boise, Id
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Running a campaign in Ancient Greece.. Party is in a large open field with chest tall grass.

At one point one of the party members could hear screams and shouts coming from the grass, so she decided to investigate. (The sounds of those dying in combat)

Alexon - "Missed Perception"
GM(me) - "All you see is grassy field"
Alexon - "A peaceful meadow"
(After 3 rounds of nothing.)
Alexon - "Still looking to see what I can see. . . Still in a peaceful meadow"
GM(me) - "I think you're in a downy commercial and looking for the downy bear"

Nerissa (Out of Character) - Whats wrong with this movie? Guys should not be pole dancers.
Gm(me) - "So what you doing Alexon?"
Alexon - "Not pole dancing."
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Old 07-16-2012, 09:20 PM   #689
UAG_Ranger
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

So my players were sent to hunt down Archer Penndragon, the son of one of their patrons. When they caught up to him battle naturally burst out. After a few melee strikes Archer pulled back and:

GM (Me): He draws an arrow from his quiver.

Viktor (Our martial artist werepyre daywatch agent): Oh, im quivering!

cue all our players not being able to focus on anything other than that line for like an hour.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:41 PM   #690
Phantasm
 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: On the road again...
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From our Star Wars (SAGA) game:

Background: a while back, our party acquired a WED-15 Treadwell droid, outfitted with 8 arms (2 claw, 1 probe, 5 tool). As its INT score wasn't that high, it obtained the name "Dummy". At one point, it was told to serve drinks for a mixture of organic, cyborg, and droid characters; the "drinks" it served were equal parts alcohol and motor oil.

Last session, we were basically in the position where we were playing our droids rather than our usual PCs. Our Jedi's player decided to play Dummy.

A few select quotes:

* Dummy twitches and flops to life, whirring and buzzing spastically. "I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE! 52! MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP! UNIVERSAL PICTURES, 1933!"

<Dummy> Oh, and the thing with the biologicals works too. It's so fun to screw with them. They don't even know I'm doing it. They're all 'aww, how cute he's trying to mix drinks' and I'm like 'shut up and drink the poison, ***holes'.

<Dummy> Pfft. No superlaser, no interest.

* Dummy whistles and beeps a merry tune as they go. For those speaking Binary, the tune is actually full of profanity.

<Dummy> o/` meat-bags, *beddle dododo* you ugly funny meat-bags, *beedle dododo* you precious silly meat-bags, *beedle dododo* where are you? *beedle dodododo, bebebe* o/`

<Dummy> We get our meatbags out of the meat locker, we keep tabs on the fake droid, we send our meatbags after the fake droid, we find ourselves some natural oil, and we sit back an enjoy a warm one while the beautiful violence unfolds.

Suffice to say, after the session was over, we memory-wiped the droid.
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"But mom, I don't wanna go back in the dungeon!"

The GURPS Marvel Universe Reboot Project A-G, H-R, and S-Z, and its not-a-wiki-really web adaptation.
Ranoc, a Muskets-and-Magery Renaissance Fantasy Setting
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