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Old 02-11-2018, 08:04 PM   #1331
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

So, my group wanted to do something simpler than GURPS and they managed to talk me into D&D 5E. No, I don't know how that happened. But, hey, play what your players want.

Ilia: "I plug my lute into my effects panel and jam."
Ghesh: "By effects panel, she means a stray cat."

--

GM: "DC Two. If you roll a one, you think this is totally natural."
Ink: "One. That's normal."
(that was Ink's third one in a row)

--

GM: "(Making random noises)"
Ink: "(waking up) Ugh! Stop it!"
GM: "There is no snooze button on this alarm."

--

GM: "If I add all their attack rolls together, they still miss!"

--

Ilia: "I have to figure out how my rapier works."
All other players, at once: "Pointy end goes in the other guy."
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:35 PM   #1332
johndallman
 
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Location: Cambridge, UK
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

"The players know enough relativity to cope with this magic."
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Old 02-15-2018, 08:25 PM   #1333
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
So, my group wanted to do something simpler than GURPS and they managed to talk me into D&D 5E. No, I don't know how that happened. But, hey, play what your players want.

(SNIP)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
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Old 02-18-2018, 09:00 PM   #1334
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tshiggins View Post
Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Heh. Yeah. For someone who hates fantasy, here I am running it and everyone is having a great time.

--

GM: “But you don’t have wings.”
Ghesh: “That one kobold had wings. I was going to see about getting them taxidermied.”

--

Ink: “Oooh! Is there a Celestial to Infernal phrase-book?”

--

Ink (to self): “That is not the person I am. I will not attempt to pickpocket the toupee off of the Kobold.”

--

Rhodan: “Huh, Ink, you are right. He’s not a lawyer. I guess Kobolds are people.”

--

Rhodan (disguised as an Ogre): “Ugly. You come here. Me find shiny.”
(Abysmal deception check later)
Ogre (In a posh, British accent): “I say. What did you do with my chum? I’m afraid I’ll have to have at you, sir!”

--

GM: “Even though they have the intelligence of processed cheese, I liked the idea of the posh accent.”

--

Ink: “Do I need to look for traps?”
GM: “I don’t know. Do you?”

--

GM: “Tandru takes the two kobolds and leaves.”
Ink: “Taking the kids to McDonnalds?”
Ghesh: “Are they her murderous moppets?”
GM: Reduced to hysterical laughter for several minutes with the moppets line. Totally wasn’t expecting it.

--

GM (as the Aasimar librarian, Jaoel): “This is your bog-standard plus-one longsword: the most common magic item in existence.”

--

GM (As the crazy gnomish jeweler, Gnaganodart): “You mean people would make you pay to look at your stones?”

--

Rhodan: “Strange things are afoot at the Ogre-K.”

--

Ink (to Jaoel): “You didn’t warn me about the gnome! You should warn people about him before you send them there!”
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Old 02-19-2018, 11:57 AM   #1335
Fred Brackin
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From Saturday's Skull & Shackles:

(after complicated illusion and invisible teleporting minor demon attack)

"Eh!!! Those poozers just poofed our Captain!. You can't poof our Captain!"

(after we reply to complicated and subtle attacks by using dragons)

NPC Captain (while being rescued by a squad of counter-poofing clerics) " I'm glad to see you chaps! The food here is terrible and the waiters are surly!"

"The structural integrity is developing problems too."

GM: "The module designers never seem to anticipate that the PCs might have magical resources of their own."

"We don't fight fair either. I'm sure that's virtually unprecedented amongst pirates. "
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