Memorable Quotes.

[jason taylor]

Originally Posted by Cyratos

Now that you mentioned diplomacy :P

While playing a fantasy campaign, my character was a scholar, who was fascinated with history. He was also a pacifist, with the knowledge of diplomacy. So, a NPC told us to battle their neighbour village, 'cos they always hated them.

Me: But there must be a way! Why fighting!
NPC: Because they are thorns in our feets!
Me: But with proper way, you could stop them with the power of great, mighty diplomacy!
Rufus (warrior PC. Takes out his mace) The only way to beat them is with my great, mighty DIPLOMACE!

Speaking of Diplomacy, one time in the Renaisance a Pope told the Venetian envoy. "We will reduce you to a little fishing villiage." He received the reply, "WE will reduce you to a tiny parish priest".

[BLloyd607502]

Ever Since this incident all rather 'interesting' PC enterances have been known as 'Umzaking' (Umzak is the cahracters name) the entire group agree, it was the most brilliant enterance any character has ever had.
The background was, the Party had just finished a pub brawl in an inn they were staying in which one of them had started, the inn was on the outrskirts of a major city which all races traded in. Umzak was a half-Demon of lust, he was Charming, Handsom, impulsive and had no respect for boundarys, mental, physical, social or peronal, he never knew how to stop. Umzak had had a single half hour turn before meeting up with the party.

PC 1 (Female, Human, warror): *Wipes blood of her sword and Sits Down* Right...maybe now we can sit down and have a Drink and some peace and quie...
GM: Suddenly the northen wall of teh inn Implodes showering you all with Debris and wood. A 50 foot tall naked Succubus runs in. You see a man is Jammed between her breasts. Umzak, describe yourself.
PC 2 (Umzak): The man is about 6 foot tall, about 23 to 26, he is wearing a full body Dark pink Cloak, his hood is down so you can see his face, shoulder length black almost blue hair and a small soul patch, no stubble. You can't see much else from where you are but he has Green eyes wtih Red flecks in them, his features are chisled and sharp. From what you can see he appears to be Smiling a rather mad smile and...fondling the Succubus... Suddenly he points at the South wall and yells "Come on Toots! We've got to keep going. out through the wall!" He looks at you *Points at PC 1* And Blows a Kiss "Hello...Can't stop to chat but I Might meet you later if I can find you..."
All the other Players:... *Looks of Shock/Confusion*
GM: The Succubs charges out through the south wall, about 3 minutes after the succubus leaves a Large mob of women arrive of Varying Species. About 50 Women, some look angry, some look unhappy, some look lustful...They all simoulatiously point at you *PC 1* "Which way did the B******/Man in the cloak/Handsome one/ Hot Dude Go!
PC 1: *Points*
GM: They give a resounding "Thank you!" and run out the other wall.
PC 2: "Well...that went well. Thanks for covering for me and Toots Cuteie...
GM: You see The man Climb down off the roof of the inn, as does the succubus...
PC 2: *Walks over to PC 1* Well I can think of a way to thank you...But that can wait for later...

Needless to say...They got on rather well.

[Cyratos]

4 weeks ago, I was GMing a campaign, named Azeroth (it's WoW, to be honest).
There was this PC, playing a troll named Kara'chute, who is completely frickin clueless, which makes him irresistably hilarious and somewhat...charismatic. Here are some of his quotes.

PC1 (serious voice): I think it's not a smart idea. By going to that pit we would require a LOT of extra equipment, like invisibility dust.
PC2: I'm still not sure about going there, I mean, our main goal is to obtain all of Guldan's jewels, and destroy them, why bother with a mere demon pit?
(PC1 & 2 start to debate extremely seriously about stuff, and the atmosphere is also frickin serious and tense)
Kara'Chute (out of nowhere...btw, trolls in Azeroth have 3 fingers on a hand...he starts to do something with his hand and says...): How would I look with 5 fingers?
PC1 & PC2 & PC3 & me: So frickin clueless...

_________________


Kara'Chute: Let's go back, Kara'Chute hungry.
PC1: No, we press forward, we gotta reach our destination.
Kara'Chute: But Kara'Chute wants food.
PC1: Shut the hell (a trap triggers and traps them)...up!
Kara'Chute: (looks around and notices quillboars, humanoid pigs): Me no want to be eaten by pigs, me want eat pigs.
PC1: Oh shut up...
Kara'Chute: Me hungry.

_________________


PC2: Are you trolls...cannibals?
Kara'Chute: Canni...what?
PC2: You know...do you eat people?
Kara'Chute: You call that cannibals?!
PC2: Yeah, why?
Kara'Chute: We call them vegetarians.
PC2: Holy crap.

[Urban]

Originally Posted by Cyratos

PC2: Are you trolls...cannibals?
Kara'Chute: Canni...what?
PC2: You know...do you eat people?
Kara'Chute: You call that cannibals?!
PC2: Yeah, why?
Kara'Chute: We call them vegetarians.
PC2: Holy crap.

Hehe, reminds me of the oger NPC that the mage gnome in the party had convinced was a vegetarian. (or veggytarian as the oger said)

Unfortunately oger logic is kinda lacking, so the following assumption took place:

Oger is veggytarian, horses eat grass, hence horses vegetarian diet, thus horses veggytarian food...

[Mark Skarr]

Speaking of cannibals:

I was, IC, talking to the GM. In the background, party conversation, I hear someone say something about cannibalism.

Me (turning, in IC shock): Waitaminute! I heard “cannibalism!” What are you talking about!
Sizzle: I was just saying that there are plenty of people on the space station and that if something happens we’d have plenty of food, we’d just have to resort to cannibalism.
MonkeyFist (playing a talking dog): It’s only cannibalism for you.

-----

Gummi (GM): The probe was going to our nearest galactic neighbor and was going to be able to go and return in six months. It has a top speed of thirty-two times the speed of light!
Me: (dumbfounded) Thirty-two million?
Gummi: No, just thirty-two.
Me: Dude, the nearest Galaxy is over a million light-years away.
Gummi: No, it’s only eight!
Me (after picking myself up off the floor): Are you talking about a cluster of hundreds of billions of stars, or just a star and its planets? The nearest star is four-point-four light-years away.
Gummi: Cluster, hundreds-of-billions.
Me: Dude, you’ve seen MIB, Galaxies are HUGE! There are no galaxies that close!
Gummi: They are not millions of light-years away.
Sizzle (from doing a web search): Canis Major Dwarf Galaxy is listed as the closest, at 25,000 light-years.
Me: Yeah, we’re eating that one. Check Andromeda. Ignore the ones we’re eating.
Sizzle: Huh?! . . . uh . . .. It says there are two Andromeda.
Me: Check NGC 6822 and M31.
Sizzle (typing): Uh. NGC 6822 . . . Barnard’s Galaxy is 1.63 million light-years away. M31 . . . Andromeda Galaxy is 2.56 million light-years away.
Me (singing): Our Galaxy itself contains a hundred-billion stars. Its a hundred-thousand light-years side-to-side. It bulges in the middle: sixteen-thousand light-years thick. But out by us it’s just three-thousand light-years wide. We’re thirty-thousand light-years from galactic central point. We go ‘round every two-hundred million years! And our Galaxy itself is only one of millions of billions in this amazing and expanding universe!
Gummi: I love Life of Brian.
Me: Meaning of Life. I shouldn’t, necessarily, expect too much scientific accuracy from a man who genuinely believes that we, in the real-world, are less than 20 years away from true anti-gravity, but confusing your Python movies is unforgivable!

[Sydney]

We were playing a 2e AD&D campaign, the wizard had just finished casting sleep I think...

DM: The Ettin collapses sound asleep through the hole into the sewer, landing on and flattening the dwarf in the process, the cold water in the sewer and the landing awakens it. *PCs scramble to get some free hits while it attempts to regain its feet.*
DM: The Ettin grabs the flattened dwarf by the ankle and starts using it as a club against you.
Me (playing a Halfling and not wanting to get flattened): Wait, is it a one-handed or two-handed dwarf?
DM: It's a dwarf being wielded by an Ettin, it's one-handed...
Me: Is the ettin proficient?"
DM: ...

[RevBob]

Originally Posted by Sydney

DM: It's a dwarf being wielded by an Ettin, it's one-handed...
Me: Is the ettin proficient?"
DM: ...

Heh. I did something very much like that in 2e. The party had entered a keep and was under attack by a swarm of kobolds. I (playing a barbarian) made my way up to a balcony facing into the courtyard, so that the stairs to the balcony acted as a bottleneck and limited how many of 'em could get to me at a time. I then informed the GM that I was going to grab each kobold as it came at me and chuck it into the target-rich, kobold-filled courtyard - not targeting specific individuals, of course, just the swarm in general. I figured the density of targets would more than compensate for the penalty of not having a proficiency in Thrown Weapon (Kobold)...and it did. :)

We figured each projectile would hit two kobolds, and all three would perish from the impact....

[Blood Legend]

Originally Posted by RevBob

We figured each projectile would hit two kobolds, and all three would perish from the impact....

Kobold dispenser...fun. I haven't gamed in a month or so, what with it being July I dont think we'll be picking it back up for a while unless someone around here has air conditioning.

[Rocket Man]

The following exchange came up during D&D Game Day at my hometown's gaming store, as the adventure got under way :

DM: “You can hear the faint sound of water dripping,” the Dungeon Master intoned.

Player 1: “OK, OK. (Turns to other players) What do you think? Spiders? Undead? Giant rats?”

Player 2: “I’m going for giant rats. There’s getting to be a lot of giant animals around these days.”


In my mind, I could almost hear the commercial: "Giant Animals. Because shambling zombies are, like, SO '80s."

[Bruno]

D&D 4e game last night. My character, a rather stupid minotaur named Mrugnak (sound familiar anyone?) has been framed for killing a dwarf while drunk out of his mind.
It's part of a Skill Challenge. This quote comes from the final big trial showdown, where the PCs are trying to save him.

DM Tarl: Any assist attempts?
Mrugnak can make cow eyes. That's about it. **
DM Tarl: Doo it.
Leshanna: (Better not ask me, 0 in charisma bonuses)
Mrugnak makes cow eyes. [1d20+0] => [2,0] = (2) **
Mrugnak accidentally gives someone the stink-eye. **
Leshanna tries to help things by speaking fondly of the fellow [1d20] => [5] = (5) **
Leshanna: but can't think of something to say.
Leshanna: as he really DOSEN'T have any redeeming features in her mind.
Mrugnak: Can I spend an action point to reroll, this is my life here.
Eshava: (( The cuuuuuuurse... ))
DM Tarl: Sure.
Mrugnak: DEAR GOD PLEASE [1d20+0] => [1,0] = (1)
Mrugnak: fu
DM Tarl: God hates you.