02-02-2019, 07:34 PM | #1441 |
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Iceland*
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
After the rough-looking swamp Cajun 'Nonc' Morel is caught with his hand in the pocket of young Alice Talbot, trying to steal some diamonds, they scuffle and he goes flying away, landing on the diamonds, clasping them desperately as Ms. Talbot chases after him...
'Nonc' Morel (PC): "MINE!!!" Teddy Smith (PC): "Should we do something about this?" Lucien Lacoste (PC): "Dude, that's sexual assault." 'Nonc' Morel (PC): "No, no, no, you're misunderstanding! I was adjusting our common inventory! After all, I could need one of these diamonds for magical purposes later, like when I saved us just now, with the cool wind spell, right? I just need them, because, well, I'm the wizard. Druid. All-saving, all powerful Cajun Jesus. It honestly wasn't sexual in any way." Lucien Lacoste: "Miss, if you want to press charges, I can help you through it." 'Nonc' Morel: "Honestly, you're looking at this all wrong. I don't feel very appreciated. I mean, didn't I just save all our lives?" Lucien Lacoste: "I don't think you've been to the HR seminar on hostile work environments. We had to fill out questionnaires and everything. And that's sexual harassment. Not cool, man." GM (OOC): "He was groping the helpless young girl. While riding a conveyance designed for transport, in this case a magical sky schooner. He's a TRANSPORT GROPER!" Smith's player (OOC): "I thought he was Gandalf. Instead, he's been Gollum all this time." Alice Talbot's player (OOC): "You're like a magic-meth addict. Shame on you, Gandalf-on-meth." After a tense standoff between 'Nonc' Morel and Don Rafael and his crew, who took the side of the innocent Alice Talbot in the dispute, there ensues a long, rambling in character attempts to explain why 'Nonc' Morel should be carrying the diamonds and he felt that the situation was tense enough without asking flat-out, so he anticipated events and he absolutely did not mean to brush against Ms. Talbot's buttocks or any other part of her anatomy... although, just for future reference, she probably shouldn't carry common inventory items in such personal places anyway... Alice Talbot (PC): "So now you're victim-blaming me?" 'Nonc' Morel (PC): "Who's a victim? I barely touched you, totally non-sexually. If anyone's a victim, it's the diamonds you weren't using, even when you really should have, because Nazis on a zeppelin were shooting bombs at us. Really, what you need to keep in mind is that I've been saving you and I'm going to keep saving you, with the diamonds and my magic." Lucien Lacoste (PC): "Sir, I'm going to advise you to stop talking." 'Nonc' Morel: "I'm sorry if I offended Ms. Talbot, but like I said, the diamonds are vital quest items, totally common inventory, and shouldn't be kept near anyone's buttocks or other personal spaces. It just leads to confusion like this." Lucien Lacoste: "You have the right to remain silent." Teddy Smith: "And should probably exercise it until you stop sounding guiltier with every word." GM (OOC): "This pirate ship has rules, goddamn it. They won't tolerate groping or any hint of a hostile work environment." Alice Talbot (OOC): "Maybe it's just the comparison with the inhuman abominations that are the Men of Leng, the actual, literal Nazis and Gropey-McGollum over there, but these pirates seem like real stand-up guys to me." Lucien Lacoste (OOC): "I still maintain that we really had no business getting involved. We don't know what these guys may have done. Maybe they did something so terrible that even Nazis were like, whoa!" Everyone, chiming in with variations (OOC): "Really? That's the hill you're gonna die on? That maybe the literal Nazis aren't so bad?" Lucien Lacoste (OOC): "I'm just saying, if you think about it, pirates are just as bad as Nazis."
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Za uspiekh nashevo beznadiozhnovo diela! Last edited by Icelander; 02-02-2019 at 07:50 PM. |
02-06-2019, 03:47 PM | #1442 |
Night Watchman
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cambridge, UK
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Carnot (PC): "If someone doesn't come from the future to stop you doing it, how bad an idea can it be?"
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The Path of Cunning. Indexes: DFRPG Characters, Advantage of the Week, Disadvantage of the Week, Skill of the Week, Techniques. |
02-06-2019, 04:16 PM | #1443 | |
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Iceland*
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Quote:
I might even go so far as to call that irresponsible and reckless behaviour, though surely no PC could be guilty of that.
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Za uspiekh nashevo beznadiozhnovo diela! |
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02-07-2019, 04:52 AM | #1444 |
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Not mine, but found on the Book of Faces (TM); originally from the tumblr of sufficientlylargen:
"My understanding of D&D is that the GM has the power to make the next quest a heist, but the players control whether the background music for this heist will be the Pink Panther theme, the Mission Impossible theme, or the Benny Hill theme." athenasdragon replied: "It is also my understanding that the players do not have *conscious* control of this. And that they will also end up choosing the Benny Hill theme no matter what they do." |
02-07-2019, 03:23 PM | #1445 |
Night Watchman
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cambridge, UK
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Carnot talks a good game of irresponsible destructiveness, but he's only destroyed one worldline (Blip, Infinite Worlds p. 140), and that was unintentional. Two Grand Masters of the Cabal were cross with him about that, and he's been more careful since then.
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The Path of Cunning. Indexes: DFRPG Characters, Advantage of the Week, Disadvantage of the Week, Skill of the Week, Techniques. |
02-09-2019, 07:47 AM | #1446 |
Night Watchman
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cambridge, UK
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
"Let's pop back to London and see what the King's got for us."
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The Path of Cunning. Indexes: DFRPG Characters, Advantage of the Week, Disadvantage of the Week, Skill of the Week, Techniques. |
02-10-2019, 03:21 AM | #1447 |
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
"Um, Captain... Could you maybe give me a few seconds before you rush toward the suspicious box and get us all killed?"
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02-10-2019, 05:11 PM | #1448 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Sparrow (OOC): “That will be the summary of the game: everything was fine . . . until it exploded.”
-- Cindi: “Giving my dice the fire effect seems to have made it impossible to see what I’ve rolled.” -- Cindi (OOC): “AAAH!” Bobb (OOC): “What?” Cindi (OOC): “I was just attacked by GUNDAM.” Bobb (OOC): “What?” Cindi (OOC): “My Alex fell off the shelf and took my Dougram with it and they landed on me.” Bobb (OOC): “Oh, you mean in real life.” -- Teo: “Matt was a werewolf.” Cindi: “When Matt peed on the wall . . . did it collapse, and spread to other walls? And the ceilings?” Angel: “You have to pee to use your powers?” Teo: “No, it’s a metaphor.” Cindi (OOC): “I was struggling to make a ‘burning discharge’ joke.” -- Terry: “I’ll work on something so we can touch.” Angel (OOC): “When did he turn into a horny eigth-grader?” Cindi (OOC): “He’s a teen-aged boy, that’s pretty much normal.” -- Juno: “There’s a guy over there, watching us. She’ll point at him.” Cindi: “Great! Let him know we’ve seen him! Flame ON!” -- Bobb: “You’re cos-playing as ‘Cultural-Appropriation Man.’” -- NPC: “You’ll find out soon enough.” Cindi: “That’s not soon enough.” NPC: “Patience, young one.” Cindi: “How long is that going to take?” Teo (OOC): “Yes, Ed Gruberman.” -- Cindi (a fire super): “The worst place I can be is a crowded movie theatre.” -- Cindi: “It’s happening. I’ll throw the door open, throw myself out and Flame on!” Angel: “It’s okay.” Teo: “She does that sometimes.” -- Cindi: “She has Less Sleep 4, she can go all night like a lumberjack.” |
02-13-2019, 12:21 AM | #1449 |
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Player (Ooc): Do they look like they were alive, or like they were dead and animated?
GM(Me):Mostly they look like they were on fire. |
02-22-2019, 01:12 PM | #1450 |
Forum Pervert
(If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Somewhere high up.
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Re: Memorable Quotes.
Heaven: "I have a job for you--but you might get some Krampus agro."
James: "Eh. I've fought tougher." <beat> James: "Says a lot about our lives when having to fight the Krampus doesn't sound like a major event." |
Tags |
actual play, funny |
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