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Old 07-26-2019, 10:43 PM   #1491
Phantasm
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

<Chelsea> "Oh hey I've blown up missile bases before."
<Mara> "And islands."
<Chelsea> "Last time was even deliberate!"
<Meatshield> "Chel! What did we agree on about exploding any more islands?"
<Chelsea> "Ask first?"
<Meatshield> "That's right!"


<Phantasm> [ Chel sees the undersides of what look to be giant stingrays flying along almost lazily, only they're ... furry. ]
<Chelsea> "Oh man those are *amazing*."
<Meatshield> "Great. Now I'm going to have to ride one. Stupid bucket list..."


<J'tarr> "I know the city and palace intimately. There's a dozen ways into the palace that aren't on the schematics. The palace guard only know of six."
* Mag raises an eyebrow. "Dozen, huh?"
* J'tarr smirks. "I was an inquisitive boy."


<Phantasm> [ One of the robot servants moves up to Vlad. "<You do not eat?>" it asks in Interlang. (assuming Vlad kept one of the translators from the space suits here.) ]
<Vlad_D> "Vlad doez eat, but not zhis."
<Meatshield> "Vlad does not drink... wine." Wiggles his eyebrows.


<Vlad_D> "My experience so far iz zhat vhile effective, my colleagues are not.... discreet."
<Meatshield> "Not discreet?! When have I ever dragged a bank vault down Main St, Vlad?"
* Mag snerks. "You'd so do that if you could!"
* Meatshield glances at Mag with a grin. "Yeah. I probably would... But I HAVEN'T!"
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Last edited by Phantasm; 10-06-2019 at 01:35 AM.
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Old 07-28-2019, 06:17 PM   #1492
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Magnus: “The colonary cathedral?”
GM: “NO! Culinary Cathedral!”
Queenie (OOC): “Cambpello’s number one concern is your number two!”

--

Queenie: “That’s the good thing about eating with a priest of Campbello: Grace is baked into the food.”

--

After a conversation with Ezekiel about a magic-but-not-magic Eyeball/stone where he asks if he can hold onto it for a bit.
Magnus: “You’ll need to sign this waiver.”

--

Magnus (OOC): “Sounds like an enthusiastic dog licking the mike.”

--

The K’el: “Were you dropped on your head as a child?”
Seven: “No, but I did just take an axe to the groin.”
The K’el: “Ow! OW!”

--

GM: “Ugh. Now all my Orks have to be Drill Instructors.”

--

Magnus (OOC): “He likes big boats and he cannot lie.”

--

Queenie: “Does it remind me of a dire animal?”
GM: “Anything you don't like reminds you of dire animals.”
Queenie: “I’m squinting at it.”

--

Seven: “Something we have not talked about: who will be the captain?”
Fireball: “I’m your huckleberry!”
Seven: “You couldn’t wear the hat.”

--

Fireball: “I don’t need brown trousers! I’m never that scared!”

--

Magnus (OOC): “How many puffins does it take to make a burger?”

--

Seven: “I’m going to give her a small sheaf of paper with nautical terms written down. These are nautical terms, yell them often and loudly. The sailors will know what to do.”

--

Queenie: “I’m naming my ship “The Savory Nugget” and you can’t stop me!”

--

Lossolir: “He doesn’t do much of the buyin’ does he?”
Queenie: “Well . . ..”
Magnus: “Not after today.”

--

Lossolir: “Any idiot can learn magic.”
Magnus: “HEY!”

Last edited by Mark Skarr; 07-28-2019 at 09:04 PM. Reason: incorrect contraction
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Old 07-29-2019, 09:16 PM   #1493
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
--

Magnus (OOC): “How many puffins does it take to make a burger?”

--
One, you can get about a burgerweight of meat per puffin. Maybe .65, depending on how small you make your burgers.
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Old 07-30-2019, 12:44 AM   #1494
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dalillama View Post
One, you can get about a burgerweight of meat per puffin. Maybe .65, depending on how small you make your burgers.
The response joke was "at least two, depending on their size. But you could get one slider per puffin."

This is relevant to the game in that Queenie's name is Queenie Puffenberger (a Seasoned warrior).
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Old 08-04-2019, 05:49 PM   #1495
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Seven: “Ehem. I will not be ‘negotiating’ next time.”
Magnus: “You didn’t negotiate this time!”

--

Magnus: “I’m pretty sure they’d rather not take orders from us.”
Nasir: “A captain is a captain—so long as they’re competent.”
Magnus: “So, I’m sure they’d rather not take orders from us.”

--

Queenie: “I’m declaring a ‘Code Nightmare Kitchen.’ We’re going to need Gorgon Ramsey on this.”

--

Ludmun (Dwarven bartender): “You’ll probably want stuff off the kiddie menu.”
Queenie (OOC): “Only two things are less than 80 proof in here, and they’re used to clean the bar.”

--

Yorerra: “Life’s not about fun, it’s about surviving to see tomorrow.”
Queenie (OOC): “That’s NPC talk!”

--

Seven: “It’s about living to the fullest, you never know. Tomorrow you might take an axe to the groin.”
Magnus: “Or yesterday in your case.”

--

Queenie: “You could leave Fireball to keep an eye on Seven. What’s the worst that could happen?”

--

Ezekiel: “Could be worse, [the ship's name] could be Axe to the Groin.”
Queenie (OOC): “I think we’d have a hard time with retention: All-aboard the Axe to the Groin.”

--

Magnus (OOC): “I’m still not convinced that Queenie isn’t a giant Halfling.”
Seven (OOC): “A Dire Halfling.”

--

Queenie: “I’m going to rub some citronella on me.”
Seven: “I still smell like catnip.”

--

Magnus: “I think the elves gave [the ship] to us for hush money.”

--

Corrus: “Two xenophobic races . . . how did they make a baby?”
Magnus: “Love potions are a thing.”
Corrus: “Fair enough.”

--

Magnus: “It’s what makes you feel alive, mate.”
Corrus: “Yes, mating does make one feel alive.”
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Old 08-11-2019, 06:08 PM   #1496
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: “No, Queenie named the ship The Savory Nugget, changing it now would be a fight.”
Quennie: “Yeah, you guys made me captain.”
GM: “I’d let her count her higher-purpose for that.”

--

GM (OOC): “I tried to type ‘flaming armor’ into my search, and accidentally typed ‘flaming amour.’”
Magnus (OOC): “That’s an entirely different spell.”
Queenie (OOC): “Sounds like something Fireball needs to learn.”
Magnus (OOC): "Fireball would like to know more."
Queenie (OOC): "Queenie would like to get this book for the crew."

--

Queenie: “Can we get one of these five-gallon canteens turned into a squirt bottle for when Seven Shadow is bad?”

--

Queenie (OOC): “I heard ‘chewing a horse.’ It was very-briefly body-horror.”

--

Segric: “You don’t normally see an infernal leading an exorcism.”

--

Segric: “We all know cats like it where it’s warm.”
Magnus: “I can set him on fire for free . . ..”

--

Seven (OOC): “Horses don’t get a bale of hay a day—that would be a really fat horse.”
Queenie (OOC): “I have named him ‘Emergency rations.’”

--

Queenie (OOC): “Queenie’s in the back reading a book on what does and does not constitute sexual harassment.”
Seven (OOC): “Saying ‘ahoy mate’ is fine.”
GM (OOC): “Saying ‘Hello sailor’ is not.”

--

GM: “Friends. Your potential employers and Captain: Queenie Puffenberger . . . and the Electric Mayhem.”
Seven (OOC): “NO! . . . The Eclectic Mayhem! That’s our adventuring party name!”

--

Queenie (OOC): “Addendum to the workplace harassment book: Dressing the pixie up as a parrot and having it sit on your shoulder is offensive. The title of the book will be ‘Can I put a pixie in a Parrot outfit and other questions.’ That’ll be her secondary form of income.”

--

Tresh: “Kobolds are like catfolk, just with fewer hairballs.”
Ezekiel: "So . . . better?"

--

Queenie: “I have, what is known in the Campbellan community as ‘the hook up.’”

--

Seven (OOC, to self): “What is the minus . . .?”
GM (OOC): “It’s the line that is not mating with a colon.”

--

Ezekiel: “I’m torn on using the Eye of Azudhu as a power item.”
GM: “As I said a little bit ago to Magnus: ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THAT?"

Last edited by Mark Skarr; 08-11-2019 at 06:12 PM. Reason: Grammar police corrections.
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Old 08-18-2019, 06:03 PM   #1497
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: “The PDFs are not quite as clear as the JPGs. Which is not a sentence I ever thought I would utter.”

--

GM: “Fireball can’t [control the horses]. The reins become fuses in his ‘hands.’”

--

Queenie: “Someone, set me on fire! It’s time for hot soup!”

--

GM: “He did not want to take that from the flaming palade barroon. Palade . . . Barroon. I hate my tongue.”

--

GM: “[the zombie] got curb-stomped by the cart.”

--

GM: “So far, the uncontrolled horses are your best weapons.”

--

GM: “You’re not sure if you made it out of the frying pan, or back into it.”

--

Queenie: “Taste Campbello’s righteous grace! Take a scoop of nine! Eat the soup!”

--

(After a 1d towering inferno deviated directly onto Ezekiel, if it had deviated in any other direction, it would have still hit an enemy.)
Ezekiel: “Why does [Queenie] get the harmless fire?”
Queenie: “I called dibs on it.”
Magnus: “She did ask for it.”

--

GM: “Magnus, what would you like to do? Step forward and set your friend on fire again?”

--

Seven (OOC): “Stop! There is an edge there!”
Ezekiel (OOC): “You’re running out of map!”

--

Queenie (OOC?): “It’s turned into a Gallagher show. You’ll want to stand back, or get under a tarp.”

--

Seven: “We should have parked the horses a half-mile away . . ..”
Magnus: “Then we’d be dead. The horses were our best ally in that fight.”

--

(Upon seeing the castle ruins have turned into a ghost castle)
Seven: “Well, that’s not the least bit disturbing.”

--

Magnus: “Fireball, turn it down a notch!”
Fireball: “That’s not me!”

--

Seven: “We come in peace . . . and would rather not leave in pieces.”

--

Magnus: “I cast flaming armor, but just on his crotch. Is he wearing a codpiece?”
Seven: “FIREBALLS!”

--

Seven: “We don’t mean any offence.”
Ezekiel: “We just do it by accident.”

--

The end of the session. (Screenshot from Tabletop Simulator.)
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Old 08-18-2019, 07:09 PM   #1498
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

"Oooh. Where am I?"

"You are on back of camel with the other baggage."

"But they're just helpless puppies!"

"Who will grow up to be Chaotic Evil, have 6 hit dice and a breath weapon. Animal Friendship spell is only working on them because they are in terrible twos. They will be as intelligent as you are when they grow up."

"Maybe more."

"Hey! What's that happening out there!"

"Is magic desert people having kaffeklatchs."

"Should we wake the others?"

"Why? There is no one here any more intelligent than we are."

"Not even the puppies."

"Look! The magic desert people have taken pity upon us and left us a map!"

"Where's our new map?"

"I think the Bard has eaten it."

"As long as it's not the puppies."

"Was not in Common anyway. Hard-working barbarian goes to the trouble of learning to read and write Common and then maps turn up in other language. Is not fair."
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Old 08-25-2019, 05:57 PM   #1499
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: “So, Seven wants to buy an orphan for the ship.”
Seven: “Yes.
Magnus: “Why buy one when you can make them for free?
Seven: “It takes too long, you have to wait until they’re like ten years old.”
Magnus: “No, just go find a ten-year old and Batman them. Instant orphan, just add fireball.”

--

GM: “So, how is everyone today?”
(looking at the game board)
Seven: “We’re all going to die.”
Queenie: “We’re all going to die—together.”
Seven: “Well, that’s something.”

--

Ezekiel: “Why has this room filled with the smell of the brown trousers?”
Magnus: “Just keep your eyes shut and swing at the sound of Fireball’s voice.”

--

GM: “Before the spanking begins, is there anything anyone wants to do?”
Magnus: “If Queenie isn’t on fire, I’m going to rectify that.”
Queenie: “I’ll put down my muffins, before that.”

--

Queenie: “Surrender or face my pacifist’s wrath of death!”

--

Queenie: “I continue trying to deliver my message of peace to his face.”

--

Queenie: “Let the damage sponge do it.”
Seven: “Do we want to open it or break it?”
Queenie: “I can do both!”
GM: “In either order.”

--

Ezekiel: “I think I’ve taken care of the 17s and 18s this fight.”
Magnus: “Probably not.”

--

GM: “Left arm strained! Right leg crippled! It’s Twister!”

--

Fireball: “Hey, these [Draugr] seem to be allergic to fire!”
Magnus: “That’s good.”

--

Queenie: “I’m giving him appetizers of Campbello’s tasty justice.”

--

GM: “He fails the flip and elects to receive.”

--

Queenie: “Incoming wok-block!”

--

Queenie: “Finally! The entrée of Campbello’s justice!”

--

GM: “It goes down. See! You’re not the only one who can roll an 18.”

--

Seven and GM: “[Ezekiel] may need a go-limb.” (Golem)
Magnus: “We’ll just get a Yoda-backpack for Lance, and [Ezekiel] can just be a Sunbolt turret.”

--

GM: “That’s not a full serving [of Campbello’s justice], it’s more of a palette cleanser.”

--

GM: “[Magnus] you miss an axe to the groin by the skin of your pants.”
Magnus: “I take it—or not. That was the point.”

--

GM: “Maximum Normal Damage!”
Queenie: “He get’s a heaping-helping of Campbello’s Justice!”

--

Fireball: “I point out that the mages are closer than you are.”
Seven: “The mages are dumber than I am.”

--

GM: “Fireball’s turn . . . he gives the [Draug] another hug.”

--

GM: “Queenie. A challenger approaches!”
Seven (OOC): “A wild rotting barbarian appears!”

--

GM: “The damage sponge has been hit for the least amount of damage by these things.”
Magnus (OOC, annoyed and unconscious): “Yeah.”

--

Queenie: “Uh, that’s a fourteen [on a skill of 10].”
GM: “Oops! Those aren’t the healing biscuits, they’re the biscuits of bowel cleansing.”
Seven: “I step back.”
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Old 08-31-2019, 07:20 PM   #1500
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

"So, ghost is wanting Men of Might to break curse but we are not exactly having multiple Men mighty or not. I an Man and I am Mighty but Kethra is female Bard, after that we got skinny Elf and 3 Dwarves full of Beer more than Might. One of them is girl too. Oh, also 3 adolescent Winter Wolves that are not house-broken yet."

"So you are thinking that whole group can climb down 400 ft of rope and sneak into tomb through underground river? Maybe we look for easier way before we do that."

"So you are thinking that we have whole group climb up rope on side of pyramid 350 feet, squeeze in through ventilation shaft less than 2 feet wide and climb down rope more than 300 feet into dark room incidentally having to buy more rope from passing caravan first? Maybe we look for easier way first."

"Ah! Stairs!"
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