Favorite Gnomco Products

[mburr0003]

Originally Posted by martinl

Suggestion:

Ahah, definitely!

Boomdaddies should be telling terrible jokes or cracking horrible puns with every attack.


Bonus Boomdaddy joke: How does a joke become a Dad joke?

When it's apparent.

[martinl]

Gnomco Rappier™

This sword gives +4 to skill in Rap battles.

Gain enemy group, hooded assassins with a beef [9].

[Anders]

The beef is great for stake-outs.

[mburr0003]

Originally Posted by martinl

Gnomco Rappier™

This sword gives +4 to skill in Rap battles.

Gain enemy group, hooded assassins with a beef [9].

That's some Redcap vs Bluecap fo'shizzle!

[David Johansen]

Gnomeco Explosive King Clone

Assassins got you down? Can't sleep in your own bed? Make them think twice with this exact genetic duplicate that explodes when stabbed throwing razor sharp shrapnel around the room. Please allow 3 - 6 weeks for custom production. Defects in this product are part of its aesthetic appeal and non-refundable. Line of succession issues are not covered by the warrenty so don't use your Gnomeco Explosive King Clone to get out of boring relationship stuff to go golfing or fishing.

Gnomeco Explosive King Clown
This inflatable king sized clown is funny but prone to violent outbursts. It can dish it out but it can't take it. Gnomeco is not responsible for the consequences of giving the Gnomeco Explosive King Clown an axe to grind.

[martinl]

Gnomco Explosive Suppositories™

These will cure your hemorrhoids. One way, or the other.

[David Johansen]

Following the success of the Inflatable King Clown we have introduced.

Gnomeco inflatable decoys. Our super realistic, replicas pack down tight and self inflate (Gnomeco is not responsible for injuries and death caused by swallowing inflatable decoys whole.

Inflatable Dragon
Terrify your foes with this bobbing beast. available in Black, Red, and Pink. This seven yard long beast features a six yard wingspan. Please specifiy color on order form.

Artificial Dragon Doo
Add realism to your pink dragon with these dreadfully realistic brown mounds with skulls and femurs printed on the sides.

Aersol Dragon Stench
Dragons ain't clean beasts and this foul murk will fool even the sharpest nose. For external use only. No this isn't the Aerosol cheese we couldn't sell off last year with a new label stuck on it. Why would you even ask that?

Inflatable Amazon Princess
Ideal for decoying dragons, knights, and heroes. Comes with separate flowing transparent robe. No we didn't just repackage unit 80085 from our adult mail order catalog.

Inflatable Boulder
Need some cover? Somewhere to hide? This grey lump will almost keep you mostly safe from your foes.

Inflatable Dungeon Gate
Just stick it to the side of a cliff and enjoy hours of fun watching wizards trying to figure out the magical password.

Inflatable Bard With Bagpipes
A customer favorite, guaranteed to draw the enemy's first round of fire.

Inflatable Giant
Fi, fi, foe, fumm, just remember that filling this guy with Aerosol Dragon Murk is considered a war crime in most kingdoms.

[Dalillama]

Originally Posted by David Johansen

Inflatable Bard With Bagpipes
A customer favorite, guaranteed to draw the enemy's first round of fire.

Not quite guaranteed. There's one recorded instance of enemy troops deliberately avoiding shooting the bagpiper. Granted, it was because they believed he had lost his mind amd it was rude to shoot a madman, bu still.

[David Johansen]

To be fair that was a real bagpiper and a talented one at that. It's our inflatables that are guaranteed, you'll have to cover your own reall bagpipers.