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Old 02-23-2013, 10:47 AM   #761
johndallman
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Today's session: "Nazi science sneers at conservation of energy!"
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:23 AM   #762
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Dystopian prison planet game. Conversation between 2 cannibal doctors.

P1: *Fries up a human boob.* [Mein Gott don't highlight this.]
GM: Oh god why.
P2: I don't get it, it's just fat!
P1: That's where all the flavor is!
P2: It's just FAT! There's nothing to EAT!
GM: You know, fat is basically butter flavored. I see no problem here on a technical level.
P2: [ooc] Well I hate butter.
GM: You have no souuuuul.

If you need more context. I'm the GM in question. I had said this before I realized I was calling out a cannibal doctor (with horrible bedside manners,) for having no sense of adventure after he spent several minutes chastising the other for his selection in cut. I'd spent the last few dozen minutes cringing and trying desperately to change the subject while these two discussed recipes over a frying pan. It was squicking out one of my more fragile (read: normal) players but those two were on a roll.
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Last edited by Blood Legend; 02-24-2013 at 03:35 AM.
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Old 02-24-2013, 09:22 AM   #763
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Prime Directive D20 Star Trek Game.

Vulcan First Officer (secretly part of Star Fleet Intelligence) gets a mysterious warning about our next mission. Tells the captain that a colleague sent her a mysterious (but unhelpful warning).

Mission proceeds to go pear shaped. Of course.

First officer works her contacts for more information. "Reply hazy, try again."

Tells the captain the following:

"They are sending me nothing but foreshadowing, Captain."


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Old 02-24-2013, 05:47 PM   #764
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Quote:
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Dystopian prison planet game. Conversation between 2 cannibal doctors.
One word: crackling. Just saying.
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Old 02-24-2013, 05:50 PM   #765
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The PCs are fighting a psychic tyrannosaurus rex, and have discovered that in addition to having to have no weak points that they can penetrate with their weapons, it can also psionically dominate them and force them to their knees, further limiting their combat actions. Nevertheless, they're gamely struggling on.

Swashbuckler: "I'll crawl over to Big Al (the half-ogre knight who is stronger than a horse), and next turn he can throw me up onto the T. Rex. Worst case, I'll climb up his back and on to the T. Rex.
GM: "That's not really the worst case."
Swashbuckler: "Huh?"
GM: "Worst case, you get to Big Al just as the T. Rex bites him and grab his ankle, climb up his leg, and barely manage to catch the T. Rex' lip as Big Al's dismembered legs fall to the ground.
Swashbuckler. "Oh. Oh yeah, that's the worst case. Well, I'm voting against that."
Big Al: "Yeah, let's not do that."
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:16 PM   #766
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Cast:
Aizel: High Elf wizard and former damsel in distress
Linette: Wood Elf archer
Orsik: Dwarven barbarian
Wei: Human monk

Aizel looks greatful: "Thank you. If I had died in that ... contraption's clutches, I fear it would have devoured my soul."
Aizel: "Did I hear you properly? You've slain Dayan?"
* Linette says, "Don't be silly. High elves don't have souls," doing her best to look as wood-elfy as possible.
Wei: "Instead, your soul is only slightly nibbled-on. And yes, we destroyed the vampire."
* Aizel shoots Linette the stink-eye.
* Linette looks innocent.
Aizel: "Dirty little tree-squirrels don't have souls, my dear. People do."
Orsik: "As slain as ghost-vampires get? But we destroyed his grave, his backup grave, and now his second grave. Oh, and smashed him into dispersal directly."
Linette: "Maybe next time I come across you trapped inside a magical death engine, I'll just leave you there."
* Aizel sniffs: "Your kind and civilized companions would rescue me again, I'm sure."
* Aizel gives Orsik a pat on the head.
* Orsik gives her The Look.
Wei: "If you two can stop being elves for a moment..."
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Old 03-03-2013, 04:13 PM   #767
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Linette: "See, this is how it starts. First the tentacle-beast takes over your mind, then the imp-cams come out and next thing you know you're up on elftube LOOKING like you're having the time of your life and you'll never live it down..."
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Old 03-08-2013, 08:27 AM   #768
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In last night's game, the mooks were acing EGO rolls right and left to keep fighting, even though the PCs were doing some serious damage.

Me: (rolls) And they're still fighting, wish I knew what the wizard was doing to get this sort of loyalty.

Player 1, OOC: He's giving them chocolate!

Player 2, OOC: I was thinking hashish.

Player 1, OOC: Chocolate-covered hashish!
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Old 03-15-2013, 03:21 PM   #769
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Koshka View Post
In last night's game, the mooks were acing EGO rolls right and left to keep fighting, even though the PCs were doing some serious damage.

Me: (rolls) And they're still fighting, wish I knew what the wizard was doing to get this sort of loyalty.

Player 1, OOC: He's giving them chocolate!

Player 2, OOC: I was thinking hashish.

Player 1, OOC: Chocolate-covered hashish!
It wasn't that great at first, but I kept reading it over and over and the laughter got worse and worse.
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Old 03-15-2013, 04:42 PM   #770
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

More like get them to smoke hashish, then promise them chocolate when they kill the PCs. That's the only way I can think of to make pot-heads violent.
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