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Old 05-04-2018, 05:48 PM   #841
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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498 Slimes and oozes don't make great pets
Does that count Blinky? The Shoggoth that lives in the basement? He's actually really friendly. He likes giving hugs (and you do get to keep all your limbs).
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Old 05-04-2018, 07:27 PM   #842
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Something for my players in the upcoming Marvel Reboot Shadowguard game:

496. You are not to attempt to pacify the Soviet super-robot trashing New York City with Hostess Fruit Pies! It doesn't have a mouth or taste buds, so it can't enjoy them.
How about Sno Balls? Or you could use them to gum-up the joints on it's limbs.
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Old 05-05-2018, 04:57 PM   #843
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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What if I offer Hostess Fruit Pies to a villain to get him to fight the robot?
See, that I would allow. :)

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How about Sno Balls? Or you could use them to gum-up the joints on it's limbs.
The whole thing is based on a series of Hostess Fruit Pie ads that ran in the comics in the '80s, where the hero would defeat a minor villain by offering him the fruity goodness and then capturing him (or her, at least one villain was a woman) while he (or she) was distracted.

About the time of World War Hulk, there was a fan-edit of one of the pages where Iron Man in the Hulkbuster armor also used Hostess Fruit Pies against the Hulk. :) Sadly, I can't find the image.... :( So I was sure one of my players would attempt to pull off a Hostess Fruit Pie victory. :)
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Old 05-05-2018, 06:36 PM   #844
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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See, that I would allow. :)



The whole thing is based on a series of Hostess Fruit Pie ads that ran in the comics in the '80s, where the hero would defeat a minor villain by offering him the fruity goodness and then capturing him (or her, at least one villain was a woman) while he (or she) was distracted.

About the time of World War Hulk, there was a fan-edit of one of the pages where Iron Man in the Hulkbuster armor also used Hostess Fruit Pies against the Hulk. :) Sadly, I can't find the image.... :( So I was sure one of my players would attempt to pull off a Hostess Fruit Pie victory. :)
And in Randy Milholland's occasional comic, Super Stupor, there's a good parody story - Boy-Toy and Deathmaw.
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Old 05-13-2018, 07:13 PM   #845
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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Having discovered an alien base at least at TL above ours which was abandoned 60k years ago.

491. Probably not allowed to inject the PC least critical to mission success with the other nanites ("insta-skill" for repair) we found that are designed for a previously unknown alien race's brain.

494. Almost certainly not allowed to intentionally use the base auto-doc to regrow/reassemble the alien chief engineer, implant it with its own memory nanos, and expect that it will be friendly enough to fix the main power plant. Allowing the base's emergency recovery system to automatically restore the engineer from nanite backup without altering the other PCs that it activated itself will earn a stern talking-to from the team leader/ politician / diplomat/ bureaucrat.
491. REVISED. Allowed to inject TWO PCs least critical to mission success with insta-skill nanites designed for previously unknown alien race's brain. However, required to use inside-the-head voice only when contemplating on-the-fly psionic brain surgery to repair things if/when something goes badly wrong. The phrase "on-the-fly" when used with brain surgery is deemed bad for morale.

[It worked -- nobody died. The disads are temporary. But my doc did get a stern talking-to about medical ethics and injecting PCs with alien brain-altering nanites even if they enthusiastically volunteered. We did let the base AI restore the base doctor and the base defense chief, who is a bit horrified that we (1) injected our own people with nanites not designed for humans and (2) used the resulting skill to bring a Total Matter Conversion power plant and associated black hole communications system on line. "Humans, we get sh*t done!"
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Old 05-29-2018, 11:52 AM   #846
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

500. When figuring out experimental weapons for AIM to hand out to HYDRA operatives, I am not to use the canned tornado, shrink ray, or blamethrower from Mystery Men.

500a. Electro-nuclear magnets are right out! (Even if they are the next inevitable phase....)

500b. Psycho-frakulators, however, are still viable.
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Last edited by Phantasm; 05-30-2018 at 05:55 AM.
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Old 06-02-2018, 06:35 AM   #847
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

501. Thou shall not throw hand grenades in a high-speed chase during rush hour.

501a. Esp. if your opponents drive a stolen 18-wheeler, loaded with a top-secret military cargo, at maximum speed.

501b. And esp. if you have to keep your mission secret from the local authorities.

501c. "But the crash gave us all cool super powers!" is no excuse.
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Old 06-02-2018, 08:43 AM   #848
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501. Thou shall not throw hand grenades in a high-speed chase during rush hour.

501a. Esp. if your opponents drive a stolen 18-wheeler, loaded with a top-secret military cargo, at maximum speed.
I have a friend who worked for an auto insurance company. During the Terminator 3 crane and pickup chase he kept wincing until suddenly he relaized "Wait, this vehicle is being used in the commission of a crime. The company is not liable."
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Old 06-09-2018, 10:46 AM   #849
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

502. Your Marvel sorcerer is not to call upon Cytorrak (the entity empowering the Juggernaut) to cast Lina Inverse's Dragon Slave.

502a. Particularly not inside the X-Mansion. :)

502b. Casting it inside Avengers Mansion is also out.

502c. Dammit, Chelsea, don't cast it in the Vault, either!
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The GURPS Marvel Universe Reboot Project and its not-a-wiki-really web adaptation.
Ranoc, a Muskets-and-Magery Renaissance Fantasy Setting
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:38 PM   #850
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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See, that I would allow. :)



The whole thing is based on a series of Hostess Fruit Pie ads that ran in the comics in the '80s, where the hero would defeat a minor villain by offering him the fruity goodness and then capturing him (or her, at least one villain was a woman) while he (or she) was distracted.

About the time of World War Hulk, there was a fan-edit of one of the pages where Iron Man in the Hulkbuster armor also used Hostess Fruit Pies against the Hulk. :) Sadly, I can't find the image.... :( So I was sure one of my players would attempt to pull off a Hostess Fruit Pie victory. :)
That is one of those little things I'd love to happen in the MCU, maybe where hulk is rampaging, lands next to a guy about to eat one and he offers it to the hulk.
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