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Old 11-02-2008, 05:23 AM   #251
mlangsdorf
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From yesterday's game. My character had just been resurrected after an unfortunate wight attack.

Belkar: "You can sleep when you're -- well, you should be pretty damned rested now!"
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Old 11-03-2008, 10:36 PM   #252
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Location: Augusta, GA
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

A guy with the Penetrating Voice perk, yelling in aggravation at his wives in a busy bar: You're having an orgy at my house and I'm not invited?!

(Yes, they really were going to have an orgy at his house, and he'd been uninvited.)
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Old 11-17-2008, 07:33 AM   #253
Koshka
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Omaha NE
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

"Is that an arrow in your codpiece, or are you happy to see me?"

(It was an arrow -- gotta love concealed body armor when the hit location dice keep going for the crotch.)
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Old 11-21-2008, 10:39 PM   #254
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Friday Night Trivia at work:

Question: Which duo resides at 66 West Wallaby Street?

Best answer of the night: "Donnie and Marie!"
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Old 11-22-2008, 08:15 AM   #255
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Location: Iceland*
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Background: The PCs are in a dungeon complex. It's a temple to a dead god of rulership and nationalism in the country they're staying and it was formerly occupied by fantatical hold-outs hoping to resurrect the god and rule again in his name. Being organised and sensible fanatics, they also brought thousands of slaves and had been working the mines under the isolated mountain for more than a decade. Meaning that there was a lot of treasure. As in so much that after the PCs applied a smacking to everyone in the temple, leaving the gold and copper made sense, so they could load up on rough diamonds.

In the temple, there was also a dracosphinx allied with the priests. This dracosphinx apparently fond of illusions and an illusionary dragon guarding a hoard scared the PCs out of their minds. They found a few other illusions in the temple as well.

The Greedy PC had been sorting the loot by value and loading it on his buddies. He threw away everything in their gear that wasn't incredibly valuable and/or they'd need on the 24 hour trip away. He even threw away the food and most of the water, reasoning that a single day of discomfort was better than leaving any of that wonderful treasure behind.

His player was almost in tears over having to leave so much treasure. He was also hopping in joy over having so much, biting his nails over something happening to it and in general prey to a lot of conflicting emotions.

Then this conversation happened.

We'll call the Greedy PC Murlak, since that's his name. The bluff and cheerful Highlander PC will be Sir Michael.


Sir Michael: "What if all this treasure is an illusion?"
Murlak: "Eh... uh..."
(turns to GM and addresses him directly)
"Then I'll kill you. That's right. I'll physically come to your house and stab you. You know I will. You'll become a steam tunnel headline. 'Man killed over RPG'. Try me."
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Old 11-25-2008, 09:22 PM   #256
Dwarf99
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

There's a gremlin character in my game that skins her humanoid enemies and does leatherworking on their skins. one of the players got his armor destroyed and was asking about going to a shop, these are the replies that followed:

gremlin: I can do leatherworking
P2: not the kind of leather you want
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Old 11-28-2008, 07:57 AM   #257
Tucker
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

In a Shadowrun game there were two characters who were constantly squabbling. One was a straight laced female street samurai (Hachi), the other was a foul-mouthed, sexist special-ops type (Diego). They had some memorable exchanges, mostly at Hachi's expense.

After Diego says something particularly stupid:
Hachi: "We just have to ignore whatever comes out of his mouth."
Diego: "I'll make you c-m out of your mouth!"

Hachi: "You slept with an ork? Your standards are slipping."
Diego: "I'll sleep with anything on two legs."
Hachi: "I'll let you know when I find some geese."
Diego: "Oh yeah!"

After a surprise attack:
Hachi: "He shot at us!? I return fire, then. What a dick."
Diego: "Oh, so now you go around hitting on the people who are trying to kill us? Whore."
Hachi: "Why do I even bother opening my mouth around you?"
Diego: "I think you know why."

After a long, pointless argument about Diego stealing Hachi's flashlight:
Hachi: "Fine, I go buy another flashlight."
Diego: "I jerk off on her couch."
GM: "You get a flashlight. Also, your couch is stained."

Our heroes are operating under pseudonyms:
Hachi: "Hi, I'm Nika and this is my associate Ivan."
Diego: "Who the f--- is Ivan?"
(Awkward pause)
Hachi: "Uh, you are."
Diego: "Oh."
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Old 12-02-2008, 05:53 AM   #258
mlangsdorf
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

This came up in last night's game. The PCs need to rescue someone from a village of lizardmen, and the party diplomat convinced the lizardmen to accept a single challenge to settle the issue. Hammer is the party's one-man cuisinart: a DF Swashbuckler with Extra Attack 2 and a big sword.

Lenia: "Try and make the fight look good, Hammer, and don't kill him. If you just walk out there and decapitate their leader, it could end badly."
Hammer: "I'll keep it interesting, no promises on the latter...perhaps Mrugnak?"
Berkun: "Go for the stomach and stomp on him..."
Hammer: "Let's do this" drops his pack
Narrator: The lizardmen lead you to the ring. A hulking lizardman in armor leans on a massive club across from the ring.
Lizardmen: "Hes issss yours champions?"
Hammer carefully draws
Lenia: "He is."
Lizardmen: "Whats isss hes doings? Ttthhes fights issss assss Sllezzziksss intendeds: unarmeds."
Hammer: "ummmm.... Club?"
Lizardmen: The lizardman champion shrugs out his armor and begins stretching, leaving the club on the ground.
Hammer: "Mrugnak?"
Hammer: "Mommy?"

The delvers managed to substitute Mrugnak (Bruno's Barbarian minotaur) but it was a close run thing. I'm looking forward to the fight next week.
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Old 12-02-2008, 10:34 AM   #259
Koshka
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Omaha NE
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Superhero game, one of the new characters has finally decided (after at least four sessions) to investigate the possibility of joining the PC team. She phones the contact number.

OOC: "For superhero confessions, please press 1. All other callers, please press 2."

Later in the same game -- we're on the trail of a demon that broke free of its summoners. We strongly suspect it's going to attack a fundraiser full of its favored prey in two (game) days, but would rather find it sooner and cut down on the innocents in the crossfire. As we're trying to come up with possible hiding places for a very large demon, "Call Motel 666!"
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Old 12-02-2008, 11:15 AM   #260
Kyle Aaron
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Words I never thought I'd hear in game sessions:

Session 1:- Player: "I guess the lesson is, never camp where someone just pooed."

Session 2:- Player to GM: "So, how's my diaorrhea going?"
GM: "Well, roll."

Session 3:- "I'll go to the armourer and see if I can trade my ipod for a composite bow."
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