Memorable Quotes.

[IrishRover]

A Long Time ago, in a town far far away...
I was running a Star Wars game, and the PC's had captured some imperials. They had an alliance issued protocol droid (or so they thought)
They needed to get something done NOW, and lacked time to tie up the imps, and the droid volenteered to do it.
When they asked if it could, I said, in my best C-3PO imitation, "I am skilled in over six million forms of restraint..."

[Mark Skarr]

From our Hero game:

A virus has wiped out over 80% of all the powered healers in the world. The Fae (specifically the Seelie) have come back to “aid humanity in its hour of need.” The characters that took part in that story line are taking a break so we were playing with our teen-supers.

Eve: Don’t the Dark Fae eat children?
Izzy: We don’t know that theory is true!
Mahou: That’s not what it said on Snopes!
GM: *Peals of uncontrollable laughter*
Izzy: Well, how would Snopes know?
Mahou: It was written by the principal!
(The Principal of the MegaDenver Paranormal High School is an expatriate Fae)
-----
Izzy: What do they look like?
Brandi: According to Dawn (the Principal), they can look like anything they want.
Eve: So, how do we find them?
Brandi: I’m pretty sure Chet (Sarnath security) can pick them out by smell, now that he knows there here.
Mahou: So . . . Chet has . . . “Fae-dar?”
-----
Izzy: On your eighteenth birthday [at the Sarnath] you can arrange to have a vampire bite you.
Eve: Really? Anything else?
Izzy: Well . . . you can always . . . negotiate for something more.
Eve: Really?
Izzy: Yeah, I put down that I wanted to be bit by a vampire with loose morals.
Mahou: Better go check your spelling on that, says here you wanted to be bit by a vampire with “loose molars.”

[Mgellis]

In a recent campaign, our characters had captured (rescued, actually...as she had been captured by someone else and we whacked 'em) an evil priestess.

She had already resisted being tortured by these other people and we weren't really keen on torturing her anyway, so I did this...

Mark [to GM]: I cast Mind Reading

GM: Okay, you can read her surface thoughts, which are full of utter loathing for you and your ilk

Mark [to GM]: My character turns to her and hysterically screams...

Galen (my character): Don't think of your plan! For the love of the gods, don't think of your plan!

Thoughts of Evil Priestess (as played by GM): What!? Why would he tell me not to think about our plan to...[please insert about 30 seconds of details about the evil plan, eventually trailing off]...Wait a second, this guy can't read minds, can he?

Galen: Go on.

Evil Priestess: Crap.

[Mark Skarr]

Jeff: I'm the speedster and I can't get a word in edgewise!

[Blood Legend]

Sent in to investigate a distressed ship. Most of the crew and the forward team were found dead and most likely eaten by nano-glop. We find one of the survivors carrying a suitcase, he books it into the next hallway where he happens to have a tripod mounted.

P1: Guy Manning, Cyborg. P2: Hiasanthee; Leader and power armor operator. P3: Psion (me), sniper and psychic interrogater. P4) A rather quiet electronics operator who just started gaming with us today.

P1) I shoot a tangler grenade around the corner.
GM) He critically fails. He's stuck good.
P2) I'm going to walk out cloaked and start asking questions
GM as NPC) Paraphrasing: "Go **** yourself!"
P2) [OOC] Lets wait for Psion to get back from the cargo hold. *departs to more pressing matters*
P3) I walk in through the door cloaked and appear in front of the tangled fellow.
NPC) *muffled* ermrhf?!
P3) I can do this the old fashioned way, with a lot of time patience and energy, or I can just zap you and ask questions.
NPC) ["Go **** yourself!"]
P3) Awrite then. *Zap Glove* *Mind Probe* Hmm I see. *opens comm to P2* Sir?
P2) "Yes?"
P3) There are 5 more on the ship, they're all held up in the control room ready to steal the ship. They disguised themselves as workers and took over the ship. The captain sensed danger and activated the nano-devour defense.
P2) That's why our forward team disappeared...

P2 radios in the situation and high command reports back that standard procedure when dealing with pirates is STK. I was JUST about to enter the doorway behind the tangled pirate stuck on the tripod gun when I hear this communication. I pull out my pistol, turn around and cap the back of his head in. Our GM has a rule; "You get one." Anything else is said in character. There was much overjoyed maniacal laughter over the comms preceeding a gunshot.

P1) He's our psychiatrist?

I get such a kick out of it because I look at the situation from high command. Some shmoe with stripes is on the other end of a military radio station listening to a quick 3-ha cackle and a gunshot RIGHT after he gives permission to kill. This was a very memorable moment to me but you had to be there, so this isn't the moment I'm writing about. Continueing on!

We get to the ONLY entrance to the ship's control room and the following out-of-character questionaire begins.

P3) Hm. Is there another way out of the control room?
GM) No.
P2) Alright, whats the attack plan?
P4) I do a scan of the room.
GM) You find a few gravity objects inside
P3) (Rolling my eyes really hard and thinking how useful a statement that was from the GM. There's STUFF inside! orly?!) "I have a tangler rocket. I can probably take them all out."
P1) I could just shoot a grenade in there.
P4) I have a strobe arrow, that'd take them out.

[Roughly 15 minutes go by discussing the various ways we can execute this attack.]

P3) Wait, we can kill them? *forgot he shot a pirate in the head a few moments ago* OH why am I doing this, lets just open it up and toss a grenade in...wait do we need anything in there?
GM) Huh?
P3) The equipment, is it vital or anything?
GM) You were sent in here to investigate the place! You dont need anything inside there!
P3) So we dont need the ship?
GM) Its a private operation! Who's going to care! The crew's DEAD who's gonig to bother?!

P1)P2)P3)P4) What?
GM) I said the ship's not important!

...

P1)P2)P3)P4) **** this, nuke the ship!
GM) huh?
P2) Just nuke the ship, everyone out of the ship.
P3) I plant a grenade at the door incase they try to leave.

And then our ship's spinal weapon atomized the mining vessel.

P2) [More Paraphrase!] Ok what's the next mission? Are we grocery shopping for the hegemony?
P3) Actually, we ARE running low on steak.

[Dalillama]

Originally Posted by Mgellis

Galen (my character): Don't think of your plan! For the love of the gods, don't think of your plan!

Thoughts of Evil Priestess (as played by GM): What!? Why would he tell me not to think about our plan to...[please insert about 30 seconds of details about the evil plan, eventually trailing off]...Wait a second, this guy can't read minds, can he?

Galen: Go on.

Evil Priestess: Crap.

Basic course in resisting Telepathic interrogation:
This course has two main components. These are a telepath or mind reading device, and a shock collar. The trainee wears the shock collar, and is placed under telepathic monitoring. Periodically, the instructor will scream "Don't think about sex!" or some similarly intriguing topic. If the trainee does think about the subject, he or she is promptly given a shock. The advanced course is much much worse...

[Blood Legend]

Originally Posted by DAlillama

Basic course in resisting Telepathic interrogation:
This course has two main components. These are a telepath or mind reading device, and a shock collar. The trainee wears the shock collar, and is placed under telepathic monitoring. Periodically, the instructor will scream "Don't think about sex!" or some similarly intriguing topic. If the trainee does think about the subject, he or she is promptly given a shock. The advanced course is much much worse...

My current character is a psychic who can legally use torture as a means to gather information. You have just given me a lot of ammo to use in my down-time.

[Mojoman]

A couple of friends were at the comic shop looking for minis and the shop clerk came over and was helping them. He picked up an Ogre mini that had a massive two-handed sword in his hand and a mace and a dead pig tied to his belt.

Shop clerk - "This dude's got spank..."
Friend 1 - "yeah and check out the mace... but why's he got a dead pig"
Shop clerk - "when this guy's fighting and he grabs the pig everyone will be like 'what's he doing' and then they'll be like 'oh s__t, he's throwing it now!"

My friends said they almost fell over from laughter.

"this dude's got spank" is now a colloquialism of the group...

[William]

So one of our party is being attacked by a morning glory that's not a morning person. My PC's hand is crackling with an electrical spell and I'm about to make with the fried salad when I realize that this may not be the brightest of ideas if it grounds through my friend.

Me, OOC to the GM: Hey, how realistic is the physics here?

GM: You're in a city outside of reality being attacked by a vine.

[vicky_molokh]

Rules discussion involving me, my GM and my (then) SO, back in 3e days:

GM: Curiosity is a scary disadvantage! It makes you do stoopid stuff unless you roll your self control.

SO: But one can roll his IQ to resist.

GM: But the character's version has a penalty to the roll! I remember! It's at -2 or -3 or so.

Me: Don't remember, but it doesn't matter. I roll against 13, because Disad Resistance rolls can't be above 13, and I specifically bought it so that my roll is reduced to 13. [My char had high IQ.]

GM, towards my SO: How could you! You're dating a munchkin!