They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa! to Hell.

[naraht]

Sometimes Demon Princes can be generous.

Kobal made the not unreasonable assumption that Napoleon XIV the creator of "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" was a demon and based on the flip side of the record "!aaaH-aH ,yawA eM ekaT oT gnimoC er'yehT" (the entire song played backward, often deliberately purchased on Jukeboxes as people were leaving the restaurants to annoy the people still there) decided to grant the demon a Knighthood.

The only problem was that Napoleon XIV (real name Jerry Samuels) is a 5 force Human. But Kobal decided that if the Human actually made to Hell, he'd still get the Knighthood.

So for Demons of Dark Humor, the joke's on them. If he goes to Heaven, Kobal will be displeased, but if he goes to Hell, he'll be higher ranking than a large number of them.

[William]

See, I thought this post was about psychopomps.

Imagine that souls didn't automatically go to Heaven or Hell; your first ascent or descent has to be by getting forced up a Tether with the "Windy" feature (automatic ascent for those in celestial form, not having anything to do with Wind). So a regular job for 5/6-Force Relievers and demonlings, and low-ranking celestials (especially Mercurians) is trawling Earth for the newly deceased with tilts in the right direction, and taking them -- dragging them, in the case of the Hellbound -- to a convenient Tether.

Probably the Light of Heaven burns a damned soul, so there's no point to Relievers rescuing the Hellbound. However, demonlings would love to get their jaws on a blessed soul -- so Heaven makes sure to keep an eye out for the good deceased (Attunements and artifacts of the Divine word of Death, no doubt), and shepherd them quickly upstairs. And those who were iffy on the Destiny/Fate scale? Well. Maybe there's a bit of a scuffle: and how strong the contingents are on either Side depends heavily on how much you registered to their detection schemes, which are mostly attuned to finding their own people.

Oh: and hey, Soldiers of God: for the love of Mike don't die attacking an Infernal Tether...

[ISNorden]

Of course, most pagan Soldiers would have a hard time reaching the Far Marches in a campaign using William's rule:

• Ethereal Tethers are rare in a game centered on the conflict between Heaven and Hell.
• An Ethereal Tether to the right domain is even rarer -- usually located in a place historically linked to that religion.
• Heaven has a vested interest in shutting non-Divine Tethers down; most of Hell is indifferent to Ethereal Tethers, but would still rather see souls damned.
• To the best of my knowledge, only Divine or Infernal Tethers can have the Windy feature.

Short of having a Nightmare demon use the right Song (ugh!), is there a way for determined pagan Soldiers to reach the Far Marches at death? Inquiring minds want to know! :-)

EDIT: I wonder whether some strong Ethereals might know a secret/restricted Song that doesn't kill mortals, but still binds recently dead followers to the right domain. If such a Song existed, though, it would need a different name from Beleth's version. Any serious suggestions?

[William]

Valkyries! Wooha!

IDHMBWMATM, so I'm not sure -- can a ghost get to the Marches by trying to go to sleep and dreaming? That would make things easier. Of course, even then they'd have to make it to the right domain. Definitely calls for an honor guard if you've been on a Domain's list of valued humans.

I suppose there's also the possibility of following someone up -- again, I'm not sure that applies to someone returning to the Marches.

I believe the Song of Bridges will make a temporary "Tether," though I can't quite recall if that's how this works. (Angels and demons could use it too, though with more Tethers running around they'll probably prefer to do things the less costly way.) Surely the Valkyrie version of a Song of Bridges would produce something that looked like Bifrost, though.

[Omegonthesane]

Originally Posted by William

Probably the Light of Heaven burns a damned soul, so there's no point to Relievers rescuing the Hellbound.

On the contrary, it is absolutely worth destroying them before Hell gets 'em, both to mercifully relieve them of their eternal torment, and to deny Hell a talking Reliquary-5.

Though, this more leads to images of Relievers simply holding down and soul-killing the damned rather than bothering to drag them to a Tether.

With regard to the original scenario, seems easy enough - murder Napoleon IV, and bank on the like 98% chance that he hasn't reached either Destiny or Fate and thus just disappears.

[ISNorden]

@Willam: I checked both Liber Canticorum and the Core Rules; no Song of Bridges is iisted in those books. Where is it listed?

[Rocket Man]

Originally Posted by ISNorden

@Willam: I checked both Liber Canticorum and the Core Rules; no Song of Bridges is iisted in those books. Where is it listed?

I think it's in Liber Castellorum; I'll check when I've a chance.

[johndallman]

Originally Posted by Rocket Man

I think it's in Liber Castellorum; I'll check when I've a chance.

Are you thinking of the Songs of Location, p38 of Liber Canticorum?

[ISNorden]

@Rocket Man: thanks for the lead! My copy of that book is buried gods-know-where; would you fill me in on the stats later, please?

P.S. Since a non-Grigori AA of Death is a (relatively) active Superior in our campaign, I see mid-level Relievers of Death getting assigned to blessed souls on the brink (possibly with Yves and Azrael sharing notes on the best leads).

[ISNorden]

Originally Posted by johndallman

Are you thinking of the Songs of Location, p38 of Liber Canticorum?

Sounds right, after I read the descriptions in there. Many thanks! (P.S. to William: Even though the mis-remembered name threw me off, I do like the idea of performers adding visual SFX to the Ethereal and Celestial Location variants.)