Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read)

martinl · 08-27-2013, 06:24 AM

Thogwarians can read this now.

As is usual when one of our group's GMs can't make it, I am running a one shot tonight. Due to rather silly comments during the back-and-forth about what one shot, we have settled on this:

Setting: in the Grim Dark future there is only Dance! ~Star Wars, but with more grinding.

PCs: Male exotic dancer ~jedi. We'll use Fudge mechanics. You'll want a randomizer, ideally 4d6. Holdout (Photonmachete) is a vital skill.

Scenario: Senator Amygdala has been outmaneuvered by her political foes, frozen in Marmite, and sold to to Belushi the Hatt. You have to use your exotic dancing skills, photonmachetes, and bow ties to mount a rescue effort. Beware the Spankor!

I also plan to bring in Gozarian Guards (Rick Moranis clones in an intimidating helmet) and the Ipecac Pit, which will burp you up and re-swallow your sorry banana-hummocked tush for 1000 years.

In any case, I'm having fun brainstorming and thought I'd share. Bad puns, 80's movie references, Chippendale humor, and 80's Disney cartoons are a potent brew. Anyone else got a favourite combo?

This thing goes live 7PM central time tonight. PCs have three hours to grind their way to senatorial rescue.

martinl · 08-27-2013, 08:09 AM

Scenes:

The entrance to Belushi's Fortress

The fortress is cobbled together from several blocks of houses in the ruins of Old Detroit. (Belushi makes his money from property taxes, since his fortress has a large negative value.) There is only one entrance, and behind the little slidy window are around 10 Gozarian Guards. The PCs will have to bluff or dance their way through.
Belushi's Court

Dark, smokey, and has more freaks than the VMAs. Belushi the Hutt is a giant pink slug in a stained toga, black sunglasses, and a fedora with beer kegs stapped to it. Several child-sized Burt Renolds look-alikes scuttle over his body, feeding on crumbs. The senator is encased in Marmite on the far wall.

Belushi is immune the Chippendale mind tricks, no matter how good their twerking roll is. Likely will dump the PCs in the Spankor Pit.
The Spankor

A stereotypical hillbilly wearing only overalls, except 40 ft high. Roars "I'm gonna paddle yer donkey!" really loudly. Hard to kill with combat, but can probably be tamed by the power of Dance. If PC's survive, BtH will try the Ipecac pit instead.
Belushi's Barge and the Ipecac Pit

Belushi's Chrysler actually seats about 40, mostly Gozerian Guards. The Ipecac pit is an open sinkhole in the middle of the street filled to within 5' of the top with vile pepto colored slime. If you fall in, tentacles will drag you under the surface, but you will be regurgitated (in a short arial arc, then you fall back into the pit) two rounds later, repeatedly, until you friends rescue you somehow.

Odds with this group is that something will derail long before scene 4, but you never know.

Irish Wolf · 08-27-2013, 04:47 PM

Or, in place of the Spankor, you could have a Redneck Tree or two...

("The plant in the corner stirs. <roll> Suddenly, a pair of powerful roots shoot out and wrap around your legs! From the center of the leafy mass, you hear a deep voice crooning, 'You shore do got a purty mouth...'")

martinl · 08-27-2013, 09:17 PM

It went better than could have reasonably been expected.

Adina · 08-28-2013, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinl

It went better than could have reasonably been expected.

Do tell.

Please.

Agemegos · 08-28-2013, 05:57 PM

You are an extremely silly man.

martinl · 08-28-2013, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agemegos

You are an extremely silly man.

Ayup.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmurrell

Do tell.

Please.

Well, chargen was pretty simple since we were using FUDGE and everyone was already a Chippendale Rescue Ranger. So +2 at Beef (muscley things), Cake (being pretty), Dance, Twerk (mind control/TK via oscillating gluteals, requires associated dance), Machetismo (force sword + all tech rolls) and Holdout (pulling random small and useful things out of one's banana hammock). +0 at everything else. Then they each got a role, boy band style, and we ended up with "Talos the Succulent One" (extra +1 at Dance and Cake, -1 Machetismo), "Rex the Brooding One" (extra +1 at Twerk) and "John the Overcompensating One" (extra +2 machetismo, -1 holdout.)

We dived right in, starting in medias res at the gates of Belushi's palace in Old New Detroit. First derail happened immediately, as they decided they needed Carrie Fisher's help and danced off to find Curl up and Dye, which they were sure would be in Old New Detroit somewhere. (This is a Blues Brothers reference, which I admit I didn't get at the time, but hey, I rolled with it.)

However, since this was Old New Detroit and not Old Old Detroit, they only found a franchise staffed by Carrie Fisher Impersonators, four of whom they convinced to come back with them. The CFIs had a tomato red 2763 T-Bird landspeeder and A2DD, a removable speeder stereo droid with large frontal battery compartments.

The expanded dance troop impressed the Gozarian Guards and convinced them to let them see Jabba, where some really good dance rolls got them the senator right away.

They loaded the senator in the TBird and started driving of, when Belushi started chasing them, apparently mad about being hornswoggled via his better nature. Some ept distractions, blaster bolt deflection, and speeder machetismo later, Belushi's speeder crashed into an old strip mall that had been converted into a space puppy mill, with flaming Gozarians Guards and puppies flying everywhere.

After that, they returned to the salon and did some really hot and heavy dancing to melt the cyromarmite, only to discover to their horror that the beautiful visage of the senator in the marmite was actually a sculpture over one of the miniature Burt Reynolds-rat-things.

We took a break there, and so will I. Are y'all bored yet, or should I continue with Part II of Chippendale Rescue Rangers, which includes the Spankor, Space Bactine, and an shocking betrayal?

Agemegos · 08-29-2013, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinl

We took a break there, and so will I. Are y'all bored yet, or should I continue with Part II of Chippendale Rescue Rangers, which includes the Spankor, Space Bactine, and an shocking betrayal?

Encore! 890

Donovan · 08-29-2013, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinl

Ayup.

We took a break there, and so will I. Are y'all bored yet, or should I continue with Part II of Chippendale Rescue Rangers, which includes the Spankor, Space Bactine, and an shocking betrayal?

please continue, and heck when you're done try selling that tale

martinl · 08-30-2013, 05:49 PM

So my Chippendale Rescue Rangers decided they needed to get back into Belushi's palace, teach him a lesson, and get the senator out, in roughly that priority order.

An offhand comment from earlier about a corral or pastel space-ponies watching the exploding puppy mill with wide innocent eyes led to the theory of putting a horse head in his palanquin, Godfather style. However with pastel space ponies (essentially MLPs) being so small and Belushi being so big, they decided to go with a gross of pony heads. Yes, they bought 144 'My Little Pony' space-ponies, decapitated them with photon machetes, and put the still-dripping heads in a very large gift basket riding shotgun in their 2763 Tomato-Red T-Bird landspeeder. Presumably their limpid pony eyes stared at Our Heroes accusingly, but they were on a mission and had no time for such emotional weakness.

Shortly after, they were trying to break into the fortresses garage. Much ineffectual faffing about followed, since the first thing they did was apply a photon machete to the control panel and after that even A2DD couldn't get the armored door to open. Luckily, Talos' especially succulent dancing in the first half of the adventure (including at least one 'Gozerian seduction dace') had created a bit of a fan club for him amongst the guards, and they lowered a rope the the Chippendale Rescue Rangers could join the the debauched party they were having in their quarters.

The Gozerians were quickly out debauched to such a degree that they followed the Chippendale Rescue Rangers in a conga line down into the garage level, and helped Our Bowtied Crusaders park their T-Bird and haul the Giant Basket of Space Pony Heads into Belushi's Court. Unfortunately, Belushi was alert enough to see them, and he simply hit the lever that dropped them all into the Spankor Pit.

The pit was full of slime and trash, with a large number of rusted out farm trucks, old jugs with 'XXX' on the side, and other agricultural refuse. Also a bright dusting of pastel space-pony heads, which really tied to room together. There was no time to linger on interior decorating, however, as a twisted iron gate rose on the far side of the chamber with a great grinding noise, and the Spankor lurched forth!

Have you ever seen a sensory homunculus? Well, the Spankor looked like one of those. Except that it was 40' tall, dressed in tattered and stained denim coveralls and nothing else, and had the scraggly beard, bad teeth, and unkempt appearance of the folks who auditioned for the hillbilly roles in Deliverance but were rejected for being too stereotypical and scary. It's battle cry of "I'm gunna spank yer donKEY!" at 140 dB was enough to drive the fanboi Gozerians to their knees, but not Our Intrepid Banana Hummocked Heroes. This was obviously a problem they could solve with the Power of Dance.

more later...

08-27-2013, 06:24 AM	#1
martinl Join Date: Jan 2006	Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) Thogwarians can read this now. As is usual when one of our group's GMs can't make it, I am running a one shot tonight. Due to rather silly comments during the back-and-forth about what one shot, we have settled on this: Setting: in the Grim Dark future there is only Dance! ~Star Wars, but with more grinding. PCs: Male exotic dancer ~jedi. We'll use Fudge mechanics. You'll want a randomizer, ideally 4d6. Holdout (Photonmachete) is a vital skill. Scenario: Senator Amygdala has been outmaneuvered by her political foes, frozen in Marmite, and sold to to Belushi the Hatt. You have to use your exotic dancing skills, photonmachetes, and bow ties to mount a rescue effort. Beware the Spankor! I also plan to bring in Gozarian Guards (Rick Moranis clones in an intimidating helmet) and the Ipecac Pit, which will burp you up and re-swallow your sorry banana-hummocked tush for 1000 years. In any case, I'm having fun brainstorming and thought I'd share. Bad puns, 80's movie references, Chippendale humor, and 80's Disney cartoons are a potent brew. Anyone else got a favourite combo? This thing goes live 7PM central time tonight. PCs have three hours to grind their way to senatorial rescue. Last edited by martinl; 08-27-2013 at 09:18 PM.

08-27-2013, 08:09 AM	#2
martinl Join Date: Jan 2006	Re: Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) Scenes: The entrance to Belushi's Fortress The fortress is cobbled together from several blocks of houses in the ruins of Old Detroit. (Belushi makes his money from property taxes, since his fortress has a large negative value.) There is only one entrance, and behind the little slidy window are around 10 Gozarian Guards. The PCs will have to bluff or dance their way through. Belushi's Court Dark, smokey, and has more freaks than the VMAs. Belushi the Hutt is a giant pink slug in a stained toga, black sunglasses, and a fedora with beer kegs stapped to it. Several child-sized Burt Renolds look-alikes scuttle over his body, feeding on crumbs. The senator is encased in Marmite on the far wall. Belushi is immune the Chippendale mind tricks, no matter how good their twerking roll is. Likely will dump the PCs in the Spankor Pit. The Spankor A stereotypical hillbilly wearing only overalls, except 40 ft high. Roars "I'm gonna paddle yer donkey!" really loudly. Hard to kill with combat, but can probably be tamed by the power of Dance. If PC's survive, BtH will try the Ipecac pit instead. Belushi's Barge and the Ipecac Pit Belushi's Chrysler actually seats about 40, mostly Gozerian Guards. The Ipecac pit is an open sinkhole in the middle of the street filled to within 5' of the top with vile pepto colored slime. If you fall in, tentacles will drag you under the surface, but you will be regurgitated (in a short arial arc, then you fall back into the pit) two rounds later, repeatedly, until you friends rescue you somehow. Odds with this group is that something will derail long before scene 4, but you never know.

08-27-2013, 04:47 PM	#3
Irish Wolf Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Earth, mostly	Re: Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) Or, in place of the Spankor, you could have a Redneck Tree or two... ("The plant in the corner stirs. <roll> Suddenly, a pair of powerful roots shoot out and wrap around your legs! From the center of the leafy mass, you hear a deep voice crooning, 'You shore do got a purty mouth...'") __________________ If you break the laws of Man, you go to prison. If you break the laws of God, you go to Hell. If you break the laws of Physics, you go to Sweden and receive a Nobel Prize.

08-27-2013, 09:17 PM	#4
martinl Join Date: Jan 2006	Re: Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) It went better than could have reasonably been expected.

08-28-2013, 05:57 PM	#6
Agemegos Join Date: May 2005 Location: Oz	Re: Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) You are an extremely silly man. __________________ Decay is inherent in all composite things. Nod head. Get treat.

08-30-2013, 05:49 PM	#10
martinl Join Date: Jan 2006	Re: Chippendale Rescue Rangers (Thogwarians do not read) So my Chippendale Rescue Rangers decided they needed to get back into Belushi's palace, teach him a lesson, and get the senator out, in roughly that priority order. An offhand comment from earlier about a corral or pastel space-ponies watching the exploding puppy mill with wide innocent eyes led to the theory of putting a horse head in his palanquin, Godfather style. However with pastel space ponies (essentially MLPs) being so small and Belushi being so big, they decided to go with a gross of pony heads. Yes, they bought 144 'My Little Pony' space-ponies, decapitated them with photon machetes, and put the still-dripping heads in a very large gift basket riding shotgun in their 2763 Tomato-Red T-Bird landspeeder. Presumably their limpid pony eyes stared at Our Heroes accusingly, but they were on a mission and had no time for such emotional weakness. Shortly after, they were trying to break into the fortresses garage. Much ineffectual faffing about followed, since the first thing they did was apply a photon machete to the control panel and after that even A2DD couldn't get the armored door to open. Luckily, Talos' especially succulent dancing in the first half of the adventure (including at least one 'Gozerian seduction dace') had created a bit of a fan club for him amongst the guards, and they lowered a rope the the Chippendale Rescue Rangers could join the the debauched party they were having in their quarters. The Gozerians were quickly out debauched to such a degree that they followed the Chippendale Rescue Rangers in a conga line down into the garage level, and helped Our Bowtied Crusaders park their T-Bird and haul the Giant Basket of Space Pony Heads into Belushi's Court. Unfortunately, Belushi was alert enough to see them, and he simply hit the lever that dropped them all into the Spankor Pit. The pit was full of slime and trash, with a large number of rusted out farm trucks, old jugs with 'XXX' on the side, and other agricultural refuse. Also a bright dusting of pastel space-pony heads, which really tied to room together. There was no time to linger on interior decorating, however, as a twisted iron gate rose on the far side of the chamber with a great grinding noise, and the Spankor lurched forth! Have you ever seen a sensory homunculus? Well, the Spankor looked like one of those. Except that it was 40' tall, dressed in tattered and stained denim coveralls and nothing else, and had the scraggly beard, bad teeth, and unkempt appearance of the folks who auditioned for the hillbilly roles in Deliverance but were rejected for being too stereotypical and scary. It's battle cry of "I'm gunna spank yer donKEY!" at 140 dB was enough to drive the fanboi Gozerians to their knees, but not Our Intrepid Banana Hummocked Heroes. This was obviously a problem they could solve with the Power of Dance. more later...