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Old 08-31-2019, 10:06 PM   #1501
Phantasm
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

* Chelsea frowns at the Al Capone reference. "So wait, are we going with death or taxes?"

* Meatshield stops his tinkering for a moment to think... "Yes."

---

Meatshield: "Wow. This chick really hates her dad."~

Vlad: "Vell, I zhinnk you vould too if your dad vas crazy nazi guy who literally took avay body; ja. Suprised she does not vant us to go after him first."

Spellbinder: "Yeah. It's kinda nostalgic."

GM: *takes a sip to hide the grin*

---
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"But mom, I don't wanna go back in the dungeon!"

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Old 09-01-2019, 05:15 PM   #1502
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Queenie: “More tasty and less sodium!”

--

GM (OOC): “This is like last week. Queenie is leaving them with the Single-All-Important-Last-Pixel-of-Life.”
Queenie (OOC): “Yes. Go forth my kill-stealers.”

--

GM: “Queenie’s mace, against chainmail, is Super Effective! Especially being on fire.”
Queenie: “For the glory of Campbello: EAT IT!”

--

Ezekiel: “I’m going to step back—I’m not sure it was voluntary.”

--

GM: “Seven is experimenting with all of the all-out attack options.”

--

Queenie: “Queenie is totally desecrating this thing’s corpse.”

--

Seven: “I do not see a weapon—this could be very very bad.”
Magnus: “That means he’s a mage.”

--

Queenie: “[this armor] will let me have the first electric stove.”

--

Queenie (OOC): “I told my roommate about the damage I took last fight, and she said ‘Campbello giveth and he taketh away.’”

--

Ezekiel: “I expect that touching it would get me electrocuted.”
GM: “You are correct, sir.”

--

Magnus: “It’s Miller time.”
GM: “Is Magnus going to do anything, or just crack open a cold paut?”

--

(after the Thunderclap goes off . . . five minutes of “what?!” jokes.)

--

Seven: “If you use alphabet soup you can spell out your anger.”

--

GM: “If you put all of this stuff on Stabby [the golem], it gives a +8 reaction; they’ll think he’s the captain.”

--

Queenie: “Ha ha ha ha! Operation Lightning balloon! Wait, does this mean I’m a weather balloon?”

--

Seven (OOC): “We’ll get you a bumper sticker.”
Queenie (OOC): “What? ‘My other ride is Campbello?’”

--

Magnus: “Or—this is all just a hallucination as you bleed out on the dungeon floor from having your leg chopped off.”
Ezekiel: “That may be the more logical answer, right now.”

--

Queenie: “I’m pretty sure her activation word is ‘Bring it!’ Or soups on. It’s very confusing around dinner time.”

--

Seven: “Other than the sanity-draining hammer, what else does he have?”

--

Magnus: “Imagine how much [poop] I could set on fire with seventy FP!”
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Old 09-07-2019, 10:32 AM   #1503
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

My character in Legend of the Five Rings was asked to write a poem about honor and had no successes. So...

Roses are red
Violets are blued
Honor is important
I think so too


The judges were not impressed.
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Old 09-08-2019, 05:53 PM   #1504
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Due to a personal injury our regularly scheduled madness was replaced with us just hanging around shooting the breeze.

But, there were still funny things said:

Mark: “He’s got a voice like smooth whisky.”
Chaos: “So . . . drain cleaner?”
Mark: “No . . . more like he’s got a voice like what people who haven’t tasted whisky think whisky should taste like.”

--

Chaos (playing Skyrim): “This guy has a lot of arrows.[lists them]”
Gumby: “Is he a shop keeper?”
Hand of Bobb: “Is he a pin cushion?”
<beat>
Hand of Bobb: “Is he secretly another PC?”
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Old 09-11-2019, 03:57 PM   #1505
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Call of Cthulhu, Chicago, 1928.

Player 1: Why is everyone shooting?
Player 2: Because they still have ammunition left!
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Old 09-15-2019, 04:52 PM   #1506
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Queenie: “We’re in the market for an orphan, maybe you could send them [to deal with Gnagagnodart].
GM: “Then you’d be in the market for another orphan.”

--

GM: “Then you went and dealt with Gnagagnodart, which ate up the vast majority of your remaining sanity points.”

--

GM: “A Campbellan crusade is known as a ‘Catering.’ It’s where they bring Campbello’s glory to the masses.”
Queenie: “Yes. Everyone brings a dish.”

--

GM: “That’s wa-aa-aa-aa-ay more eloquent than Seven has ever been.”
Queenie: “Yeah, I expect him to bust in [to the orphanage] saying ‘give me your sturdiest orphan!’”

--

Meadow: “Just how old of an orphan are you looking for?”
Seven: “Ten-to-thirteen . . . middle-aged for a child.”
<beat>
Party: “WHAT?!”
<beat>
Queenie: “Operation: Child Endangerment.”

--

Magnus: “I prefer to keep my relationship with orphans on the ‘making them’ side.”

--

(so many orphan jokes. Wish I had recorded the audio. It was so funny.)

--

Fireball: “Hey! Seven! Holdup. They want me to go along to keep you out of trouble. The two worst people to talk to orphans. Let’s go. It’ll be fun!”

--

Seven (OOC): “A giant pop-up book of Pixie smut?”
Magnus (OOC): “It’s actual size.”

--

Seven (OOC): “All our treasure is here, in this army of golems.”
Magnus (OOC): “Our treasure is the Terra Cotta army.”

--

GM: “Magnus does not have to make an acting roll, because he’s not acting.

--

GM: “The urchin pulls out a knife.”
Magnus (OOC): “Look out! He’s got a knife.”
Seven (OOC): “You idiot! We all have swords!”

--

Fireball: “HEY! WE’RE HERE FOR YOUR ORPHANS! LET US IN!”
Seven: “Fireball! Stop it! You’re not helping!”
Magnus (OOC): “Bring out your [dead] . . . ahh.”
Seven (OOC): “Don’t make us burn this door down.”
GM: “Fireball is definitely making it worse.”
Magnus (OOC): “Worse . . . or better?”

--

Seven: “You attempted to hire an orphan . . ..” (cuts out on Discord)
GM: “You cut out, but we get the impression.”

--

GM (OOC): “Fireball in Groucho glasses?”
Fireball (OOC): “No! These are my real nose and glasses.”
Seven (OOC): “Why are they melting?”
Fireball (OOC): “Because I’m hot, baby!”

--

Queenie: “Usually, at this point, we set me on fire, and I go first.”
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Old 09-20-2019, 11:31 AM   #1507
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Shadowrun. The PC have a minor fight with a few gang members, dressed in street style with baseball caps. The runners manage to take some as prisoners.

Troll-Samurai: "Well, I tie him up with duct tape. And then I turn the brim of his baseball cap forward."

Sometimes, the players are the real monsters.
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Old 09-20-2019, 08:18 PM   #1508
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Part of a Starfinder game:

Chitterbox (a Ysoki): *is good at wires. They taste different!
Neha (Human): <ooc> You sure you're not part Jägermonster, Chitt?
Everyone else: <ooc> XD!
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"But mom, I don't wanna go back in the dungeon!"

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Ranoc, a Muskets-and-Magery Renaissance Fantasy Setting
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Old 09-22-2019, 05:01 PM   #1509
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

(After giving an overview of the previous session)
Magnus (OOC): “I don’t see what the problem is. They’re just orphans.”
Queenie (OOC): “The problem is what wanted to hire one of them.”

--

GM: “It took a while for Seven to find [the stairs]. You’re assuming he’s a trained rogue.”

--

GM: “You’re not searching it. You’re RE-searching it.”

--

Ezekiel: “Why can’t they ever be summoning angels?”
GM: “Because then the plot wouldn’t need you.”

--

Fireball: “Hey, Magnus, I hear a disassociated cat-voice over here.”

--

GM: “Alcohol and Fire Mages is not a good combination.”

--

(after losing 6 points of IQ to foolishness gas from botched traps rolls and failed overconfidence rolls, and being dragged away by Queenie.)
Seven: “NO! NO! I can get it this time!”
Queenie: “That’s it, I’m breaking out the squirt bottle.”
Magnus: “Ugh, it smells like wet cat.”

--

GM: “The magebane dust is immune to magical fire. The foolishness gas is—.”
Queenie (OOC): “Flammable. Fireball kills us all.”
Magnus: “Yeah, it’s a flour-based gas.”

--

GM (OOC): “I want a trap that makes people smarter—so they can realize how much trouble they’re in.”
Ezekiel (OOC): “Or just, Delusion (I’m in a lot of trouble).”
GM (OOC): “It’s not a Delusion.”
Magnus (OOC): “It raises their IQ by the same amount it lowers their Fright Check.”

--

Queenie (OOC): “Smash-cut to Seven being tied up in the Japanese Bondage style.”

--

GM: “If they were labeled, they wouldn’t be ‘hidden buttons.’”

--

GM (OOC): “The party doesn’t need ‘Danger Sense,’ they need ‘Seven’s doing something’ sense?”
Queenie (OOC): “Yeah, the ‘It’s been too quiet, where’s Seven?’ sense.”

--

Ezekiel: “We’re going to be fighting Demon-possessed zombie orphans.”

--

Ezekiel: “Oo-oh. I’ll give up someone else’s IQ for ledgers.”

--

Ezekiel: “Any idea what the runes say?”
Magnus (OOC): “Do not step.”

--

(After a critical failure on an Analzye magic roll, that just caused Ezekiel to be stunned)
GM: “The rune blasts back at you with some stunning force, resisting your ability to analyze it. Or, at least, that’s your story and you’re sticking too it.”

--

Seven: “[The door] is neither locked nor trapped—so it means the trap is very bad and on the other side of the door.”

--

Queenie: “Is that a healing potion in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

--

GM: “And the Flaming Parade Balloon bursts into the room.”
Queenie: “Wafts, with dignity, into the room.”

--

[after another 5d, 3-hex Towering Inferno spell]
Magnus: “How much to maintain [Towering Inferno]?”

--

Queenie: “I like how all of our fights wind up with about ten minutes of cartoonish pratfalls—not always from the villains.”

--

GM: “Queenie gets into her spice rack and gets out some consciousness herbs—.”
Queenie: “Pepper.”
GM: “Or, as we call it, cayenne pepper.”

--

Cultist: “Who are you?”
Seven: “You’re worst nightmare.”
Cultist: “I doubt it—you haven’t seen what I’ve seen.”
Seven: “Well, that’s probably true.”

--

Queenie: “How many are down there, and should I bring muffins?”
Cultist: “At least four, and, unless Muffins are a metaphor for something else, probably not.”

--

Seven: “We’ve found today’s special friend!”

--

Seven: “What are those?” [pointing to Bleeders rising]
Magnus: “Kindling.”

--

GM: “Zeke, what would you like to do?”
<beat>
Ezekiel: “Survive!”
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Old 09-26-2019, 11:24 PM   #1510
William
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Another old one from a game several years back, found in a log:

-----

Narrator: As you approach the party, a haggard looking man in black robes staggers up. "Woah, travelers. Stay away - doom is here."

Rehael: "End of the world party, is it?"

Xivilai: "Doom, y'say? What flavor?"

Narrator: He sighs.
Narrator: You recognize the badge of the Sinkers
Narrator: "Beer and sex, mostly." he says, looking resigned.

Rehael: "Led many a man to his doom, those have," Rehael agrees.
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