Memorable Quotes.

[Mark Skarr]

Characters are meeting for the first time. Marilise is a police officer meeting Raine (a teacher) with Fred (Forensics specialist) about some jewelery that's missing. Marilise has already had some occult experiences, but Raine and Fred have not.

Marilise: We'll go upstairs.
GM: When you get to the second floor, you notice that it's about 20 degrees cooler than the ground floor.
Marilise: “Overactive AC?”
Raine: “No, the AC’s off when I’m not at home.”
Marilise: “Is it always like this?”
Raine: “No, sometimes it’s worse.”
Fred: “What? It’s just the AC from the morning moving upstairs.”
Marilise: “Heat doesn’t work that way. Hot air rises. If you’re right, the attic would be even colder.”
Raine: “Oh, we haven’t been up there in years. Let me get the key.”
GM: It takes Raine a minute to get the key and you guys go up to the attic. It’s about three or four degrees cooler than the ground floor, not that noticeable.
Marilise: What’s my Danger Sense telling me?
GM (rolling): Nothing, it’s not reacting.
Marilise: Like hell it isn’t. It’s been telling me “Don’t go into the freaking haunted house” since we got here, I was just wondering if it was telling me anything useful.

[SolemnGolem]

The players have cornered the suspicious NPC, and are interrogating him. He's trying to Fast-Talk and is not succeeding.

Player A succeeds on a Hearing roll.

Player A: "Wait, what's that creaking sound?"

Player B: "...it's my suspension of disbelief."

[Koshka]

Dimension-hopping supers with no control over which dimension we end up in. We're about to wrap up the current storyline/world, as we head after the mothership of the aliens who want to conquer and strip-mine Earth. We've learned that the aliens have run lots of their soldiers through a "die or get powers" treatment, and while "die" is the more common result there's enough who've gotten powers that we need to account for them in our planning.

Me (in character): Do we know if the (alien) Admiral is enhanced?
Player 2: Ask his wife.

Later, a mistake on our parts meant the GM needed to pick a target for the aliens' ambush. He counts up the potential targets, then calls a pause while he rummages out an eight-sided die.

Me: He could have had a D8!

[Bruno]

GM has been making a lot of food jokes and toilet humour, often at the same time

Player 1: Are you feeling OK today?
GM: How is this not me every day?
Player 2: How is this not OK?

[Bruno]

Same game:

GM has noticed that the font in his module is getting smaller and smaller, and is reading out description in a shriller and shriller voice.

Player 1: Are you sure your testicles have dropped?

[Bruno]

And again:

Player 2: Waterdeep is basically Montreal. They're both cities around a mountain with a giant cave full of monsters under it.

[Blood Legend]

I really should have called this thread Memorable Moments to cover a wider set of materials but I've nowhere else to put this gem. There's this one demon lord (basically an immortal who can temporarily exist in the mortal world) who keeps getting summoned to presumably do battle with us. The second this happens my character Randal immediately opens with a dropkick. So far he's been summoned twice in my presence and both times I've critically succeeded the roll for enough damage to cave plate armor. The second time I ran into him, I was leaping off a horse at full gallop to perform the kick. I'm going for the hat trick.

It's something to be said when a figurehead of fear and terror throughout history is brought to life for little else than to briefly experience the sensation of pain only then to slip back into the darkness. If it wasn't me doing it I'd have suspected a higher power was screwing with the NPC.

[Rocket Man]

The game is In Nomine. Three of the PCs (angels) had encountered a demon with no memory or much else going upstairs ... a demon who strongly resembled Alan Wolf, a guy that some of the PCs had hoped to Redeem before another PC cut him to pieces.

Two of his discoverers took him back to an apartment and tried to get him to shower -- only to find that he first let his clothes get soaked before finally remembering to undress. As a result, the clueless demon was now sitting on the couch of a studio apartment in nothing but a towel while Kay, an impulsive Bright Lilim, tries to call her "older Sister" Susan for some clothes and assistance.

The result was borderline screwball comedy. Some highlights:
=========

Susan (at a hospital visiting a wounded angel): "Hang on a sec," she tells the Malakite. Not answering the phone, Susan texts back, "I'll call you back in a few."
Kay: (Texts back) "I'm in a room with a naked guy and Bertha and I have clothes on"
GM: "Is that a cry for help or bragging?"

===
Susan: "Alan is *BACK*?! As in, alive???"
Kay: (Remembering she can get clothes elsewhere) "NVM...I'm a dork"
Susan: "No, no, Sister, I'm not going to nevermind that a naked demon is in the room with you!"
Kay: "I'm fine! Bertha is with me"
Susan: "What is Bertha doing with the naked demon??"
GM: "Oh, such a straight line ..."
===
Kay: "I thought you wanted to talk later?"
Susan: "You have a demon and another angel with you, and you want me to talk to you LATER now?! A NAKED DEMON?!?"
Kay: "You said you were busy!"

(And of course, as Susan screams "A NAKED DEMON?!?" into the phone so that half the hospital can hear, another angel mutters "Way to keep a low profile, hon ...")
====
Susan: (After hanging up and practically destroying the cell phone) "C'mon, we have to go off the demon who won't stay dead--or dressed."

[Mark Skarr]

Simon Cross has wound up (dimensional travel sucks) as the first officer of a Ranger-class scout in a Star Trek world. Simon, used to dealing with super villains, thinks he's figured out who a murderer is amongst a group of miners and merchants (he was actually right, which is rare for Simon).

Simon: Don't let Jameson out of your sight.
Fed Marine (GM): Aye, sir.
Simon: But you need to be subtle about it.
Fed Marine: Sir? I'm not sure about the meaning of that word. "Subtle."
Simon: It means to set phasers to stun.
Fed Marine: They have a stun setting?
Simon: Okay, maybe marines weren't the best choice for this . . ..

Later, Jameson confronts Simon after causing an avalanche that separates him from his group (they're using phasers to try to dig through to him).

Jameson: So, you figured it all out.
Simon: Yeah. You were sloppy.
Jameson: I had it figured out to the last decimal place. You couldn't have figured it out. You’re just a Federation stooge!
Simon: No, you're just an amateur, I'm used to dealing with people who can read minds, so you're just a little punk.
Jameson: I'm a "little punk" with a Klingon disruptor pointed at you.
Simon: Is that what that is? Okay, so now you've just made two fatal mistakes.
Jameson: Yeah?
Simon: First off . . .. (ooc) I'll use my TK to pull the disruptor out of his hand and toss it across the room. (Rolls and gives results). (IC) I'm a telekinetic.
Jameson: (Pronounced miner swearing). What was my second mistake?
Simon: You might have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those lousy kids and their stupid dog.
Jameson: What stupid dog?
Simon (ooc): I'll shapeshift into crinos and lunge at him.
(Simon's a werewolf, amongst other super powers)

==

Jillian, another dimensional traveller is stuck in a parallel world (something is blocking her power to jump). She has replaced a soccer-mom version of herself (she's started out as a genius-level biochemist). She's been to several ultra-tech worlds, and with eidetic memory, has a lot of information stored in her brain, which she sometimes uses to be taken seriously.

An unscheduled eclipse has occured and Jillian is trying to help figure out what caused it, and has, with a hacker's assistance, broken into a high-level conference call.

Jillian: I'm sure you're all wondering who I am and why you should listen to me.
GM: They all agree.
Jillian: I'm sending you formula for: why electrons have mass, two forms of faster-than-light travel and a joke.
GM: *Blank stare*
Jillian (OOC): What? You don't watch Doctor Who?

[Mark Skarr]

Simon, currently acting captain of the USS Questor, is questioning a pirate they have captured.

Pirate: "Ah, mil-op-com, figured you guys would bring me down."
Simon: I'll nod. "Yeah, we don't have all that touchy-feely crap the gal-ex-com deals with."
Pirate: "So, you've finally brought the Black Queen down. Feeling pretty smug?"
Simon: Rolls his eyes. "Really? Black Queen? Cliché much?”
Kanu (his acting first officer): “Simon, that’s her hereditary title.”
Simon: “I don’t care. It’s cliché, it’s stupid, and it’s over done. Next thing, she’ll be telling us her name is Raven Black, or something.”
Raven: “Um, Dark. It’s Raven Dark.”
Simon: “Seriously? I mean, who names you people?”
Raven: A little indignant “My mother named me!”
Simon: “Yeah, badly. Seriously, isn’t that child abuse: giving a child a stupid name?”
Mika (a telepath they’ve picked up): Telepathcially “Yeah, this from a black-furred werewolf who calls himself ‘Blackwolf.’”

----

Later, Simon is in communication with a Vulcan diplomat for how best to handle the situation with Mika (who does not want to return to an arranged marriage).
Somok: “Your options are sorely limited, I’m sorry to say.”
Simon: “Yeah. They’re not going to be happy when I tell them where they can stick their request.”
Somok: “You humans have colorful metaphors.”
Simon: “I’m just hoping I can keep Star Fleet befuddled to our true location a little while longer, while we try to figure this out better before we have to take her back to . . .” (player forgets Mika’s planet’s name) “uh . . . Space Utah.”

10 minutes of near constant laughter ensue.