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Old 01-06-2019, 09:31 AM   #11
Icelander
 
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Iceland*
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Discussing whether to try to flee the scene and cover up evidence, or cooperate with the police, relying on the fact that they didn't actually do anything all that bad, mostly just hit someone who was attacking them with a knife and, it also looks like they rescued a kidnap victim. Or, actually, she kind of rescued herself, they just lent her some clothes and performed an emergency trachectomy on one of her kidnappers.

PC1 (an off-duty sheriff's deputy): "Do we have any reason to be evasive or hide anything from the detectives outside?"
PC2 (technicallly also has a badge and has recently graduated from a police academy, but isn't a real cop): "Well, you were breaking and entering while waving a large knife and a salt shaker. Also, I'm fairly certain that anything found in here will be ruled inadmissable because you didn't have a warrant or any legitimate reason to break down the door."
PC1: "OK, do we have any reason to lie about anything other than what the cops outside are going to lie about anyway in the official report, i.e. the scream we obviously all heard before entering due to exigent circumstances?"
PC2: "No, that about covers it. I assume we wave our badges and say the name of our illustrious employer a lot, maybe casually mention his political donations, friendship with the mayor and chief, that sort of thing?"
PC1: "We won't have to. He'll already have sent his Lawyers."

At this point, 'Nonc' Morel, a rural Cajun sort who looks like a hobo who likes to fish and wrestle gators in the mud, aside from the actual, honest-to-God full size wizard's staff he always carries, starts to question the wisdom of any plan that involves knuckling down to Authority, the Law and possibly even Yankee Revenooers.

PC2: "It'll be fine. I know you look kind of dodgy, but you're a guest in the home of J.R. Kessler and his name carries a lot of weight around here."
'Nonc' Morel: "It gonna carry all them ounces of fine, sweet medicinal herbs I've got in my pockets?"
PC1: "Uh, you're just going to have to get rid of any drugs before they come in here."
Morel: "Hell, no! I got my pride! We still got freedoms, ain't we? What, next you're gonna arx me to pay them leeches taxes?"

---

Later, after 'Nonc' Morel St. Patin has decided to obey his first instincts and the instincts of generations of St. Patins by heading away from any representative of authority, who might be looking to discover his still, demand back taxes or ask him any questions at all, he stops by on the way out to to give advice to one of the kidnappers / cultists, who had proved to be a fairly unintimidating specimen and been subdued with social skills and then calmed with a rather large rolled-up joint of medicinal herbs:

'Nonc' Morel: "You just hang tough, kid and tell them cochons nothing. Nothing. Arx for a liar to speak for you, they cain't force you to speak without you gots one."
PC2: "He's right, kid. We'll get you a lawyer and you don't have to talk to anyone else about what happened here."
Morel: "What you gonna tell them cochons?"
Dazed young cultist: "Nothing?"
Morel: "Alohrs pas, bougie boy."

---

Still later, having to submit to various medical examinations, tests and suchlike, as well as give an official statement.

Player1, OOC: "I want to hunt a horrible monster in an exciting dungeon crawl, not sit with them in a cubicle and fill out paperwork!!!"
Player2, OOC: "I told you we should have attacked them on sight. Cops cause bureaucracy, like vampires cause anemia."
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Last edited by Icelander; 01-07-2019 at 05:27 AM.
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