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Old 08-05-2018, 07:05 AM   #1
Tolenkar
 
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Join Date: Jun 2018
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Default Magical Items for Parenting

A final installment of joke items that my friends and I came up with many years ago to describe parenting in TFT terms. It is best to check my Spells for Fatherhood post to get all of the spell references. Some of these could easily work their way into a campaign. I might use the "Music Box of Lullabies" as a clever trap in one of my adventures. Enjoy.

Parenting Magic Items


Lesser Magical Items (for the “Early Years”)

Carpet of Eternal Cleanliness – Cost: 500 g.p. Variations: Bib of Repulsion (wearable)

Crib of Containment – A variation of Pentagram: holds babies and demons within a 1-megahex area.

Rattle of Amusement – An object enchanted with the Amuse Baby Spell. Greater Magic Item crib toy: Busybody Entertainer.

Pacifier of Silence – Works as per the Deafness spell. No ST cost.

Music Box of Lullabies – Any characters within 3 Megahexes must roll 3 vs. IQ or fall asleep for a time equal to 30 minus their ST in minutes.

Bottomless Bottle of Milk – A mini cornucopia, specializing in milk.

Toy Chest of Holding – Can store an infinite number of toys, and only toys.

Car Seat of Safety – acts as armor that will take 8 points of damage/impact. 1 ST to activate in sensible sedans or S.U.V.s, 5 ST to activate in any sports cars or roadsters.

Greater Magical Items
Avert Bully – This amulet takes the form of a lunch box, sharpened pencil, or rabbit’s foot. It is a +1 good luck charm when used in the Principal’s office.

Couch of Last Resort – A Pentagram/ultimatum for decision-making, activated by spouse with the magic words: “Honey, we need to talk”. This item occupies 2 hexes and costs 5 ST to activate.

Tool Belt of Repairs – Contains items for household maintenance. Powers invoked by the spousal phrases: “Honey, would you fix the…”. When worn with Pants Showing Crack magical item, all Mechanician talent rolls are at +1.
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Last edited by Tolenkar; 08-05-2018 at 12:28 PM.
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Old 08-05-2018, 11:54 AM   #2
Skarg
 
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Default Re: Magical Items for Parenting

Sounds like the proprietary grimoire of the Nanny's Guild!
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Old 08-05-2018, 12:27 PM   #3
Tolenkar
 
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Default Re: Magical Items for Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skarg View Post
Sounds like the proprietary grimoire of the Nanny's Guild!
Brrrrrrr.... the idea of a Nanny's Guild just sent a shiver down my spine. That might make a solid core to an adventure. Tangling with that guild might be worse than dealing with the thieves guild. Cross them, and you might spend the next few years up in your room... without any supper!

-Tolenkar
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:30 PM   #4
Skarg
 
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Default Re: Magical Items for Parenting

Yeah, I think there's an episode of The Avengers about that...
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