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Old 10-21-2017, 07:55 PM   #1281
L.J.Steele
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

PC: I jump into the dragon's mouth and fire my attack down its throat.

GM: Roll damage, then a reflux save....
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Old 10-21-2017, 07:58 PM   #1282
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: "Next swing, and he'll be wearing assless chaps."
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Old 10-21-2017, 08:02 PM   #1283
Mark Skarr
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Originally Posted by Bruno View Post
GM: "Next swing, and he'll be wearing assless chaps."
That defines all chaps. Otherwise, they'd be pants.

Angela (NPC, Starship CMO): "What are you hoping to find out here?"
Luna (OOC): "My keys?"
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Old 10-22-2017, 06:27 PM   #1284
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Thief: “I believe the chest is locked with magic.”
Mage: “You are correct.”
Theif: “Is there anything you can do about that?”
Mage: “I can set it on fire.”
Thief: “Well, okay then.”
Mage: “For a second I thought you were serious about me setting it on fire. I think that’s counter-indicated by its operation manual.”
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Old 10-22-2017, 08:38 PM   #1285
L.J.Steele
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

We just ended a D5e campaign -- To Slay the Last Dragon. Short version was it ended with the PCs given the opportunity to create a new world out of the ashes (more like an eggshell) of the present one. (This campaign world was inside a red dragon orb, which had the essence of Tiamat's red consort, bound to protect it from Therizdun's efforts to destroy the last campaign world.)

The PCs have fought off various forces trying to shape the new world. They, in turn, have shaped it on the foundation of the complete works of one Jordan Roberts, pulp chronicler of the prior campaign groups adventures, two souvenir lunch boxes of the first campaign group (both of these found in the last dragon's horde), a wand of wonder (to bring joy and surprise), and the eye of the half-orc fighter, voluntarily plucked out several adventures back as part of a ritual to destroy a Therizdun relic (to inspire heroic sacrifice).

They see a world forming far below them. An old man with seven canaries approaches.

Bahamut's avatar: Will it have dragons?

PCs look at each other.

The Cleric of Olidammara: Of course it will. Somewhere down there, there's a bunch of people huddling around a fire, not minding the cold, because a bard is telling stories about a dragon. People need dragons.

The 1/2 orc fighter: Heros need dragons. There has to be a worthy foe to inspire brave acts. But dragons must be rare, a thing of terror and wonder, that slaying one is a deed of legend.

The monk, looking at Bahamut: And good dragons for balance, to inspire civilizations.

The wizard (dubious): Alright. Dragons. I guess.

And the PCs are given two pearls, one black, one white to cast in as the world sets its form. Then they leap through the gate and the campaign ends.
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Old 10-23-2017, 10:01 PM   #1286
Fred Brackin
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Over this internet thing......

GM: Prepare for the arrival of the Pirate Council and all the intrigue that will bring...

Rev: Intrigue? is that some sort of cracker?

Idunno: No, interegee is no like a biscotti. Interegee is like when some of us distract the other guys from the front while the rest of us stabs them in the back. We do eet all the time.
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Old 10-24-2017, 09:40 AM   #1287
Fred Brackin
 
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Originally Posted by Fred Brackin View Post
Over this internet thing......

GM: Prepare for the arrival of the Pirate Council and all the intrigue that will bring...

Rev: Intrigue? is that some sort of cracker?

Idunno: No, interegee is no like a biscotti. Interegee is like when some of us distract the other guys from the front while the rest of us stabs them in the back. We do eet all the time.
....and it continues to grow....

Blaede: Whuh?

Idunno: Never mind. Just be ready with the sharks.
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Old 10-24-2017, 09:15 PM   #1288
William
 
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Location: Upper Peninsula of Michigan
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
Thief: “I believe the chest is locked with magic.”
Mage: “You are correct.”
Theif: “Is there anything you can do about that?”
Mage: “I can set it on fire.”
Thief: “Well, okay then.”
Mage: “For a second I thought you were serious about me setting it on fire. I think that’s counter-indicated by its operation manual.”
Honestly that seems like an excellent way of getting inside a chest with a terribly complex lock, as long as the desired material inside is fireproof.
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Old 10-25-2017, 05:22 PM   #1289
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Last night my coworker and I were discussing a piece of machinery in the shop that's been down for a week now:

Me: I think they cannibalized parts from it.
Her: ... They ate them?

I couldn't help but laugh. :)
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Old 10-29-2017, 07:38 AM   #1290
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Toni: “We’ll want an actual--physical--kill switch.”
May: “I got your kill switch.”
Arin (OOC?): “This is just a hatchet held up with a piece of string on an egg timer. And a shotgun pointed at the server. And sixty-five kilos of thermite spread out over the servers. And a picture of you flipping-off the server room.”
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