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Old 02-11-2018, 07:04 PM   #1331
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

So, my group wanted to do something simpler than GURPS and they managed to talk me into D&D 5E. No, I don't know how that happened. But, hey, play what your players want.

Ilia: "I plug my lute into my effects panel and jam."
Ghesh: "By effects panel, she means a stray cat."

--

GM: "DC Two. If you roll a one, you think this is totally natural."
Ink: "One. That's normal."
(that was Ink's third one in a row)

--

GM: "(Making random noises)"
Ink: "(waking up) Ugh! Stop it!"
GM: "There is no snooze button on this alarm."

--

GM: "If I add all their attack rolls together, they still miss!"

--

Ilia: "I have to figure out how my rapier works."
All other players, at once: "Pointy end goes in the other guy."
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:35 PM   #1332
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

"The players know enough relativity to cope with this magic."
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Old 02-15-2018, 07:25 PM   #1333
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
So, my group wanted to do something simpler than GURPS and they managed to talk me into D&D 5E. No, I don't know how that happened. But, hey, play what your players want.

(SNIP)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
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Old 02-18-2018, 08:00 PM   #1334
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tshiggins View Post
Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Heh. Yeah. For someone who hates fantasy, here I am running it and everyone is having a great time.

--

GM: “But you don’t have wings.”
Ghesh: “That one kobold had wings. I was going to see about getting them taxidermied.”

--

Ink: “Oooh! Is there a Celestial to Infernal phrase-book?”

--

Ink (to self): “That is not the person I am. I will not attempt to pickpocket the toupee off of the Kobold.”

--

Rhodan: “Huh, Ink, you are right. He’s not a lawyer. I guess Kobolds are people.”

--

Rhodan (disguised as an Ogre): “Ugly. You come here. Me find shiny.”
(Abysmal deception check later)
Ogre (In a posh, British accent): “I say. What did you do with my chum? I’m afraid I’ll have to have at you, sir!”

--

GM: “Even though they have the intelligence of processed cheese, I liked the idea of the posh accent.”

--

Ink: “Do I need to look for traps?”
GM: “I don’t know. Do you?”

--

GM: “Tandru takes the two kobolds and leaves.”
Ink: “Taking the kids to McDonnalds?”
Ghesh: “Are they her murderous moppets?”
GM: Reduced to hysterical laughter for several minutes with the moppets line. Totally wasn’t expecting it.

--

GM (as the Aasimar librarian, Jaoel): “This is your bog-standard plus-one longsword: the most common magic item in existence.”

--

GM (As the crazy gnomish jeweler, Gnaganodart): “You mean people would make you pay to look at your stones?”

--

Rhodan: “Strange things are afoot at the Ogre-K.”

--

Ink (to Jaoel): “You didn’t warn me about the gnome! You should warn people about him before you send them there!”
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:57 AM   #1335
Fred Brackin
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From Saturday's Skull & Shackles:

(after complicated illusion and invisible teleporting minor demon attack)

"Eh!!! Those poozers just poofed our Captain!. You can't poof our Captain!"

(after we reply to complicated and subtle attacks by using dragons)

NPC Captain (while being rescued by a squad of counter-poofing clerics) " I'm glad to see you chaps! The food here is terrible and the waiters are surly!"

"The structural integrity is developing problems too."

GM: "The module designers never seem to anticipate that the PCs might have magical resources of their own."

"We don't fight fair either. I'm sure that's virtually unprecedented amongst pirates. "
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Old 02-26-2018, 04:30 PM   #1336
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Duncan, Heaven, James, Luna and Simon are stuck on a ship with a bunch of kids from a future society. They rescue a wealthy couple with a pair of dogs (which the kids have never seen) and wind up caring for them (as the couple are in serious condition and have to be medivaced away).

Lillie (NPC): "I was looking through the records for informaiton about dogs, and I found this movie, A Boy and His Dog. We should watch it."
Luna: "No! In fact, let me see that. Where's the delete command?"

Later, after observing a ship that Duncan commented looked like a steampunk ship:
Lillie: "I found this steampunk movie in the records: A Clockwork Orange. We should watch it."
Luna: "NO! That's not a steampunk movie. Seriously, don't they have something like Treasure Planet in the records?"

Later, after finding some decent movies for the kids to watch:
Lillie: "I found a movie about porcupines, it's called Quills--."
Luna (OOC, looking directly at GM): "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
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Old 02-26-2018, 06:30 PM   #1337
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

6 of us were exploring an abandoned base that the Zhodani had moved into. (Classic Traveler.)
Everyone else is in combat armor or battle dress, and armed with fusion or plasma guns. I'm wearing a tailored vac suit, and packing a carbine version of a (very) advanced combat rifle, and a vibro-sword.

We discover that the next room has a bunch of Zhodani in armor, so I say, in my best Indian Jones voice, "Plasma guns...very dangerous. I'll go first."

Moments later, the carnage is complete, and players are reconsidering the advantages of traveling light. (One also said to me, "Just a merchant that's had to defend herself?")

The situation was important enough that I was willing to disclose my status as a (semi) retired agent of the Imperial Bureau of Internal Security)

The players never forgot that quote, nigh on 20 years later.
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Old 03-03-2018, 06:48 PM   #1338
Fred Brackin
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

You know? It's probably a good thing we're already pirates because almost everything we're doing here is illegal."

"If we're going to infiltrate the Hurricane King's special island perhaps we can disguise ourselves as pirates."

"I am no longer given to lecherousness My Lady."

"Well I just rolled a 31 on Sense Motive."

"I am regretting Harrigans' death right now."

"Yeah, this secret route for infiltrating the Hurricane King's stronghold is so bad I want to kill him again because of it."
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Old 03-04-2018, 07:02 PM   #1339
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Richard: “That’s what Doctor Feelgood said.”
Aven: “Doctor Thorogood?”
Richard: “That’s what I said.”

--

Kay: “They’re dinosaurs, they have brains the size of my foot.”
Aven: “If they’re lucky, they have brains the size of your bunions.”

--

Richard: “I’m used to dealing with things here that aren’t comfortable, but I’m not drunk enough to try that.”

--

Ruby: “Now my idea about an army of killer bees doesn’t sound as crazy.”

--

Aven: “You may be a moron, but your trike is smart enough to not do anything stupid.”
Richard: “It’s a sad statement when your dinosaur is smarter than you.”

--

Kay (OOC, to her cat): “You can’t get in there, goofball! It’s a book!”
GM (OOC): “You underestimate her power. You underestimate her, greatly!”

--

Ruby: “Do you have anything that would let you take control of a gigantic spider queen?”
Lewis (NPC): (Wide eyes) “No. That would be the most valuable substance ever.”
Ruby (OOC): “It turns out it’s just a hat with spider legs, it makes her think you're one of her children.”

--

Ruby: “Look! Giant bees!”
Rick: “Nope, they’re just very, very close.”

--

Ruby: “You tourniquet this, right?”
GM: “Nobody critically failed their roll, except for your Health Roll.”
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Old 03-11-2018, 07:12 PM   #1340
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Ana: “What can you tell me about a skull-faced ghost-weasel that controls people by sticking its tongue in their ear?”
Herb: “You’re going to have to be a bit more specific.”
Ana (genuinely gob smacked): “I, uh, thought I was.”

--

Dillon (NPC): “What are you doing with this [expletive deleted]!”
Simon: “Looks like we’ve found today’s special friend.

--

Ilya: “Oh, I’m supposed to hold it the other way.
GM: “It’s not bedazzled enough for you.”

--

Ghesh: “Today’s lesson: always bring an extra dozen bronze dragonborn.”
Ink: “Don’t forget the pompoms.”

--

GM: “And as is standard for one of my badguys: he explodes.”

--

Gnaganodart: “No, they don’t usually let me have weapons here.”
Ilya: “That seems wise.”

--

Ilya: “Is there supposed to be someone around to take care of you?”

--

GM: “On the one face of the hammer, bejeweled into it, is Gnaganodart’s face. On the other, and this requires a sanity check, you’re pretty sure, is Gnaganodart’s butt.”
Ghesh: “Don’t look too close at the handle.”

--

Ilya: “I hear you’re very fletching! Wink-wink-wink.”

--

GM: “Okay, so Ilya is busy seducing another half-elf. What does everyone else want to do?”
Ink: “NOT visit Gnaganodart!”
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