Memorable Quotes. - Page 31

Ultraviolet · 02-23-2009, 06:12 AM

In some fantasy campign, we were (incompetently) investigating the assassination atempts on gthe king by somne unidentified ninjas. While rummaging through the Court Advisor's closet:

GM (in a sinister voice): "You find some clothing you had *not* expected to find!"
Player E (with a voice in disbelief, almost panick): "Women's clothes?????"

After a long time laughing the despairing GM had to point out in no uncertain terms that it was in fact a black ninja garb!

The same campaign saw a situation teaching us to pay attention and not interrupt the GM. It was during a fight occuring as we were raiding a fort, simultaneoursly with some other crooks:

GM: "Well, first off you see an armed man running towards..."
Player J (Had his bow ready and aimed at that place): "I shoot him!"
(rolls made)
GM: "You hit him in the neck, he goes down dead or dying..."
Player J: "Oh yeah!"
GM: "His 3 friends charge into melee with you!"
Player J: "Crap!"

Same campaign again, where we almost uttered out famous last words, just before we snuck into an orc encampment, intot he Shaman's tent to kill or capture him:

Player H: "Pfff, Shaman! That's just the orc with the best default on first aid!"
(Aaaaand, who can guess? This was actually the arch villain!)

In Cliffhangers, in an adventure bordering on an old west knock-off:

GM (Me): "The sheriff and his men ride up beside you, no guns drawn. Also a wagon stops, drops the tarp and you see 2 men with machineguns and 2 other men serving as loaders."
Player H (who is a gunslinger with guns 24): "I fast draw my peacemaker and cap the two guys on the left once in the head each.
GM (Me): "What? Shooter and loader?"
Player H: "Yes" (rolls dice) "I hit both"
GM (Me): "Sure, they go down. The other machinegun opens fire" (rolls lots of times "First burst hit with 3, second with 3, third burst...need I go on? All bullets easily do maximum blowthrough damage"
Player H: "What?"
Other Players: "MachineGUN, not MachinePISTOL!"
Player H (sighs): "Oh!"

So that's what we shout when someone obviously hasn't been paying attention, and they statements of actions reflect this. Player H especially.

In the same Cliffhangers campaign. We're in a major adventure involving the earth being hollow, and there are several highly evolved humanoid races down here. This particular one is sited at a great lake. We're in a bar, best described as a western saloon, having just made firends with the leader of the fishermen, a great local leader.
GM: "Some goons barge in, kicking the saloon doors open. By the look of it, theyre archenemies of the Fishermen. The lead goon says: I thought I told you to leave town before sunset!"

At first it seemed fine, what with the western setup, but being underground???

SuedodeuS · 02-23-2009, 12:38 PM

This one's got some backstory to it. Basically, in a D&D campaign, our rogue had to kill a town's leatherworker in order to join the assassin's guild. My character (a swashbuckler) had recently hired the leatherworker to make some wrist sheathes for him, and had then purchased some reagents to make poison and spent the night cooking up some nasty little concoctions. As the primary suspect in the murder (which the rogue botched up pretty well - turns out people scream if you forget to cover their mouths), my character was arrested. After a long time of framing some other guy for the killing, my character was set free and we all went about our business.

A good deal of time later, we found ourselves the proud new owners of a dragon's hoard. Using it, we basically made a small naval fleet and went about attacking an enemy port. Ever since the leatherworker incident, we had continously dogged the rogue's player about the whole affair, and as we were invading the port this somehow came to us calling out "Kill the leatherworker!"

Thinking about how the actual town's leatherworker would undoubtedly feel upon seeing a large fleet of ships raining down bolts and arrows on the city, whilst screaming such a battlecry, I felt compelled to act out what his most rational course of action would be. So I described (while pantomiming the whole thing) him running over to the blacksmith's shop, killing the blacksmith, picking up his tools, and running out screaming in a frantic voice (while holding up said tools) "I'm the blacksmith! I'm the <gosh-darned> blacksmith!" I think it took about 30 minutes before we could actually start playing again.

Mark Skarr · 02-23-2009, 01:24 PM

The party is in Germany. One of the characters is a time traveller from the future (my character works for a different time traveller, so I have little patience for his ineptitude). The party (except for myself and Jamie) is involved in this HUGE debate on how time works.

Jamie: I'm a big fan of whatever will bring us more schnitzel.
Cheshire: That's "Lunchtime."
Jamie: I like "Lunchtime!"
Danielle (me): Time is an illusion. "Lunchtime" doubly so.
GM, Jamie, Dana (all OOC and in unison): Very deep. You should submit that Reader's Digest, they have a page for people like you.

SuedodeuS · 02-23-2009, 02:36 PM

Hmmm... Just remembered another one. It was my first game of Vampire: The Masquerade. I had a habit of explaining my actions with a decent amount of depth, such that the GM decided to generally not make me roll because "That's too cool to miss" (I tend to have really bad dice luck).

We were in a bar, where a Slayer (a la Buffy) had shown up and started trying to kill one of the characters. As the fight went on (and my Assamite continued to disarm - and later disrobe - the Slayer), the Slayer finally ripped up a barstool and started swinging with it as an improvised stabbing/bludgeoning device. Not missing a beat, my character dashed forward, grabbed the pointy end, assessed where the weakest point of the stool was, and struck full force. The stool broke, with a good deal of momentum carrying forward. My character converted this forward momentum into angular momentum to quickly spin himself around... and hit the Slayer in the side of the head.

GM: She goes flying out the window.
PC2 (upset): You never told me we were near a window!
GM: ... You weren't.

~~smurf~~ · 02-23-2009, 03:40 PM

Cyberpunk aka splatterpunk

Party disarms My character. Mike the slighty crazed Hungarian mercenary.

Apartently, everything my character did unnerved the group of 5. They were totally convinced that they would die if Mike was near them.

The party had made off with some loot, part of the payment was for Mike.

Struggling free of his bonds, sees a Guard, nothing else to do but charge, Guard quakes and shoots rounds all over the place. Mike disarms Guard with a flurish (role of a 3!)

Group now making a get away can see what is happening and begin to panic. The Guard is dead and Mike wants his share!

Finds a motorbike and rides off in pursuit of the party!

Major panic set in and one of the party decides to throw a Grenade at Mike. However, being a grizzled war vet, swerves, bounces of his bike and back on again by another amazing dodge roll (another 3!)

Member in party... "HE'S INVINCIBLE!"

Irish Wolf · 02-23-2009, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smurf

Member in party... "HE'S INVINCIBLE!"

"He's a loony!"

"Bike knights always triumph! Have at you!"

BLloyd607502 · 02-24-2009, 12:59 AM

Vampire the Masquerade game. Player one was a Malkavian, Player Two was a Gangranel, Player three was a Nosferatu. The Malkavian wasn't really Too Crazy (Hypagraphia, obsessive Writing) But everyone looked down on him anyway.
They were all sitting around Discussing a Plan to break into another Vampires Pent house.

P2: "Yeah, we can do it but he's got damn Guards, with training and Stake Guns...Stake Guns!
P3: Well...You're a Fighter type you sort them out, I'm mean you're tough!
P2: Yeah, I'm tough, but I'm not invicible am I?
P1:....I'm Invincible...
P2&3 Ignore him
*Keep arguing for about 3 minutes*
P1: I Said, I'm Invisible
P3: We heard you, we just didn't care.
P1: I'm not Kidding, I'm fine with being Staked, it doesn't hurt...well, it hurts but it doesn't kill me.
P2: Bull****. Now Shut up Or I'll Bl**dy Stake you myself.
P3: Yeah, Sure...Damn Crazy Malkavian...
P1:...I may be Crazy But I'm not a Liar...*Sigh*...I'm not going to convince you of this am I?
P2: No. You're not...So Shut Up.
P1: Right...*Thinks for a few seconds, stands up, picks up his Chair and smashes it over P2's head*
P3: What the F***!
P1: Only thing I could see nearby hard enough to break Wood. Now. Observe *Picks up a Chair leg with a Sharpened end and Drives it thought his own Chest. Drops to the Floor*
P3: Holy C*** on a Stick. Mike, Anderson Just killed himself! *Turns away to go get P4 Who's in the Kitchen
P1: *Leans over to the GM and whispers something*
GM: [P3] You feel a Pair of Arms Wrap around you in a hug, it's [P1]. You know because you can feel the Stake Sticking out of him...
P3: WHAT THE F***!!!
P1: Told you so...People always have considered me...heartless...
P3: What the Hell! Why arn't you dead!
P1:...*Thinks for a Moment then Says in a Bad Dracula Accent* You cannot Keel Me Victor...I am Already Dead...Heh...
P4: *Walks in just as P1 Pulls the stake out and put's P3's hand in the hole. Both PC's Faint IC*
P1:...*Calmly Heals himself with Blood Pool, Goes to sit down, Thinks for a moment, places the stake in P2's hand, Sits back down and Starts to write Gently* heh...Best Prank I've pulled in ages.

(When P3 Woke up)
P1: *Taps the hole in his chest, now encrusted in Blood* Well...Your turn to do it...Bet you can't.

(The Merit: Misplaced Heart and a Large Blood Pool are wonderful things if no one else knows about them. From that point on no one threatened the Malkavian.

Porklet · 02-24-2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

The party is in Germany. One of the characters is a time traveller from the future (my character works for a different time traveller, so I have little patience for his ineptitude). The party (except for myself and Jamie) is involved in this HUGE debate on how time works.

Jamie: I'm a big fan of whatever will bring us more schnitzel.
Cheshire: That's "Lunchtime."
Jamie: I like "Lunchtime!"
Danielle (me): Time is an illusion. "Lunchtime" doubly so.
GM, Jamie, Dana (all OOC and in unison): Very deep. You should submit that Reader's Digest, they have a page for people like you.

They obviously aren't Douglas Adams fans if they didn't recognize that quote.

Dalillama · 02-24-2009, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Porklet

They obviously aren't Douglas Adams fans if they didn't recognize that quote.

I'm sorry to ask, but this is a joke, right?

Porklet · 02-24-2009, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAlillama

I'm sorry to ask, but this is a joke, right?

Joke? It's a quote by author Douglas Adams. I am pretty sure it's from "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I think Ford says it to Arthur, just before the alien construction crews arrive, "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." It wasn't intended as a joke.

02-23-2009, 06:12 AM	#301
Ultraviolet Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Århus, Denmark	Re: Memorable Quotes. In some fantasy campign, we were (incompetently) investigating the assassination atempts on gthe king by somne unidentified ninjas. While rummaging through the Court Advisor's closet: GM (in a sinister voice): "You find some clothing you had not expected to find!" Player E (with a voice in disbelief, almost panick): "Women's clothes?????" After a long time laughing the despairing GM had to point out in no uncertain terms that it was in fact a black ninja garb! The same campaign saw a situation teaching us to pay attention and not interrupt the GM. It was during a fight occuring as we were raiding a fort, simultaneoursly with some other crooks: GM: "Well, first off you see an armed man running towards..." Player J (Had his bow ready and aimed at that place): "I shoot him!" (rolls made) GM: "You hit him in the neck, he goes down dead or dying..." Player J: "Oh yeah!" GM: "His 3 friends charge into melee with you!" Player J: "Crap!" Same campaign again, where we almost uttered out famous last words, just before we snuck into an orc encampment, intot he Shaman's tent to kill or capture him: Player H: "Pfff, Shaman! That's just the orc with the best default on first aid!" (Aaaaand, who can guess? This was actually the arch villain!) In Cliffhangers, in an adventure bordering on an old west knock-off: GM (Me): "The sheriff and his men ride up beside you, no guns drawn. Also a wagon stops, drops the tarp and you see 2 men with machineguns and 2 other men serving as loaders." Player H (who is a gunslinger with guns 24): "I fast draw my peacemaker and cap the two guys on the left once in the head each. GM (Me): "What? Shooter and loader?" Player H: "Yes" (rolls dice) "I hit both" GM (Me): "Sure, they go down. The other machinegun opens fire" (rolls lots of times "First burst hit with 3, second with 3, third burst...need I go on? All bullets easily do maximum blowthrough damage" Player H: "What?" Other Players: "MachineGUN, not MachinePISTOL!" Player H (sighs): "Oh!" So that's what we shout when someone obviously hasn't been paying attention, and they statements of actions reflect this. Player H especially. In the same Cliffhangers campaign. We're in a major adventure involving the earth being hollow, and there are several highly evolved humanoid races down here. This particular one is sited at a great lake. We're in a bar, best described as a western saloon, having just made firends with the leader of the fishermen, a great local leader. GM: "Some goons barge in, kicking the saloon doors open. By the look of it, theyre archenemies of the Fishermen. The lead goon says: I thought I told you to leave town before sunset!" At first it seemed fine, what with the western setup, but being underground??? __________________ Playing GURPS since '90, is now fluent in 4th ed as well.

02-23-2009, 12:38 PM	#302
SuedodeuS Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Memorable Quotes. This one's got some backstory to it. Basically, in a D&D campaign, our rogue had to kill a town's leatherworker in order to join the assassin's guild. My character (a swashbuckler) had recently hired the leatherworker to make some wrist sheathes for him, and had then purchased some reagents to make poison and spent the night cooking up some nasty little concoctions. As the primary suspect in the murder (which the rogue botched up pretty well - turns out people scream if you forget to cover their mouths), my character was arrested. After a long time of framing some other guy for the killing, my character was set free and we all went about our business. A good deal of time later, we found ourselves the proud new owners of a dragon's hoard. Using it, we basically made a small naval fleet and went about attacking an enemy port. Ever since the leatherworker incident, we had continously dogged the rogue's player about the whole affair, and as we were invading the port this somehow came to us calling out "Kill the leatherworker!" Thinking about how the actual town's leatherworker would undoubtedly feel upon seeing a large fleet of ships raining down bolts and arrows on the city, whilst screaming such a battlecry, I felt compelled to act out what his most rational course of action would be. So I described (while pantomiming the whole thing) him running over to the blacksmith's shop, killing the blacksmith, picking up his tools, and running out screaming in a frantic voice (while holding up said tools) "I'm the blacksmith! I'm the <gosh-darned> blacksmith!" I think it took about 30 minutes before we could actually start playing again. __________________ Quos deus vult perdere, prius dementat. Latin: Those whom a god wishes to destroy, he first drives mad.

02-23-2009, 01:24 PM	#303
Mark Skarr Forum Pervert (If you have to ask . . .) Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Somewhere high up.	Re: Memorable Quotes. The party is in Germany. One of the characters is a time traveller from the future (my character works for a different time traveller, so I have little patience for his ineptitude). The party (except for myself and Jamie) is involved in this HUGE debate on how time works. Jamie: I'm a big fan of whatever will bring us more schnitzel. Cheshire: That's "Lunchtime." Jamie: I like "Lunchtime!" Danielle (me): Time is an illusion. "Lunchtime" doubly so. GM, Jamie, Dana (all OOC and in unison): Very deep. You should submit that Reader's Digest, they have a page for people like you.

02-23-2009, 02:36 PM	#304
SuedodeuS Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Memorable Quotes. Hmmm... Just remembered another one. It was my first game of Vampire: The Masquerade. I had a habit of explaining my actions with a decent amount of depth, such that the GM decided to generally not make me roll because "That's too cool to miss" (I tend to have really bad dice luck). We were in a bar, where a Slayer (a la Buffy) had shown up and started trying to kill one of the characters. As the fight went on (and my Assamite continued to disarm - and later disrobe - the Slayer), the Slayer finally ripped up a barstool and started swinging with it as an improvised stabbing/bludgeoning device. Not missing a beat, my character dashed forward, grabbed the pointy end, assessed where the weakest point of the stool was, and struck full force. The stool broke, with a good deal of momentum carrying forward. My character converted this forward momentum into angular momentum to quickly spin himself around... and hit the Slayer in the side of the head. GM: She goes flying out the window. PC2 (upset): You never told me we were near a window! GM: ... You weren't. __________________ Quos deus vult perdere, prius dementat. Latin: Those whom a god wishes to destroy, he first drives mad.

02-23-2009, 03:40 PM	#305
~~smurf~~ Banned Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Bristol	Re: Memorable Quotes. Cyberpunk aka splatterpunk Party disarms My character. Mike the slighty crazed Hungarian mercenary. Apartently, everything my character did unnerved the group of 5. They were totally convinced that they would die if Mike was near them. The party had made off with some loot, part of the payment was for Mike. Struggling free of his bonds, sees a Guard, nothing else to do but charge, Guard quakes and shoots rounds all over the place. Mike disarms Guard with a flurish (role of a 3!) Group now making a get away can see what is happening and begin to panic. The Guard is dead and Mike wants his share! Finds a motorbike and rides off in pursuit of the party! Major panic set in and one of the party decides to throw a Grenade at Mike. However, being a grizzled war vet, swerves, bounces of his bike and back on again by another amazing dodge roll (another 3!) Member in party... "HE'S INVINCIBLE!"

02-24-2009, 12:59 AM	#307
BLloyd607502 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Britian	Re: Memorable Quotes. Vampire the Masquerade game. Player one was a Malkavian, Player Two was a Gangranel, Player three was a Nosferatu. The Malkavian wasn't really Too Crazy (Hypagraphia, obsessive Writing) But everyone looked down on him anyway. They were all sitting around Discussing a Plan to break into another Vampires Pent house. P2: "Yeah, we can do it but he's got damn Guards, with training and Stake Guns...Stake Guns! P3: Well...You're a Fighter type you sort them out, I'm mean you're tough! P2: Yeah, I'm tough, but I'm not invicible am I? P1:....I'm Invincible... P2&3 Ignore him Keep arguing for about 3 minutes P1: I Said, I'm Invisible P3: We heard you, we just didn't care. P1: I'm not Kidding, I'm fine with being Staked, it doesn't hurt...well, it hurts but it doesn't kill me. P2: Bull**. Now Shut up Or I'll Bldy Stake you myself. P3: Yeah, Sure...Damn Crazy Malkavian... P1:...I may be Crazy But I'm not a Liar...Sigh...I'm not going to convince you of this am I? P2: No. You're not...So Shut Up. P1: Right...Thinks for a few seconds, stands up, picks up his Chair and smashes it over P2's head P3: What the F**! P1: Only thing I could see nearby hard enough to break Wood. Now. Observe Picks up a Chair leg with a Sharpened end and Drives it thought his own Chest. Drops to the Floor* P3: Holy C*** on a Stick. Mike, Anderson Just killed himself! Turns away to go get P4 Who's in the Kitchen P1: Leans over to the GM and whispers something* GM: [P3] You feel a Pair of Arms Wrap around you in a hug, it's [P1]. You know because you can feel the Stake Sticking out of him... P3: WHAT THE F**!!! P1: Told you so...People always have considered me...heartless... P3: What the Hell! Why arn't you dead! P1:...Thinks for a Moment then Says in a Bad Dracula Accent* You cannot Keel Me Victor...I am Already Dead...Heh... P4: Walks in just as P1 Pulls the stake out and put's P3's hand in the hole. Both PC's Faint IC P1:...Calmly Heals himself with Blood Pool, Goes to sit down, Thinks for a moment, places the stake in P2's hand, Sits back down and Starts to write Gently heh...Best Prank I've pulled in ages. (When P3 Woke up) P1: Taps the hole in his chest, now encrusted in Blood Well...Your turn to do it...Bet you can't. (The Merit: Misplaced Heart and a Large Blood Pool are wonderful things if no one else knows about them. From that point on no one threatened the Malkavian. Last edited by BLloyd607502; 02-24-2009 at 01:06 AM.

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