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Old 03-20-2017, 11:10 AM   #781
KarlKost
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

521. I can no longer stop a major orc invasion of 10.000 trops trying to cross the only bridge over a major river (thus, their only way to cross over hundreds of miles) managing to COMPLETELY hold them at bay while at the same time causing them thousands of casualties over several days of attempts with only 300 human defenders by using just lvl 1 spell "Grease" and "Enchant Rope" in Pathfinder.

521.b I also can no longer, in that same battle, score two sequential critical successes in an attempt to use a lvl 1 spell of blind with my lvl 1 PC in a red freaking Dragon that the GM sent to us after being frustrated with my Drask, henceforth forever know as "The Grease Mage", and also "The Dragon Slayer", the heroe of Mulgaroth, savior of the kingdom (and who were sadly murdered by a cabal of high level orc warlocks shortly after that)

522.c It seems that I can't also argue with the GM about being promoted from lvl 1 to lvl 11-12, or at least lvl 10, as a fitting achiviement after being the main responsible for the death of 4.000-5.000 orcs and a major adult Red Dragon.
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Old 03-22-2017, 08:28 AM   #782
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

523f. May NOT attempt to sell petrified PC as an oversized Chia Pet. My Haggle/ Barter skills are NOT relevant in this situation ;(



Digging one up from a few pages ago ...

[QUOTE}465: my futuristic Freedom Fighters campaign may not have holographic Wanted Posters that coincidentally show the face of one of the PC who just got next to it saying "the ------ administration encourages all citizens with information on this troubled individual to come forward, and remember, the future begins with you."[/QUOTE]

Remember, the Future begins with F U.

Last edited by Hemlock; 03-22-2017 at 08:38 AM.
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Old 03-27-2017, 09:21 AM   #783
WaterAndWindSpirit
 
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

524 ) Not allowed to bake any sort of cake using only poisonous ingredients. Poisoned cakes still need flour and other non-toxic ingredients.

525 ) Not allowed to ask the bard to sing the "Iced Arsenic Cake" song for his "Inspire Competence".

525 b ) Especially since that that cartoon predates my life by a decade or two. Or three.

526) Not allowed to sing the parody by "Le Joueur du Grenier" either, even if we just ran out of lantern oil and have been making heavy use of the "jump" and "tumble" skills.

Last edited by WaterAndWindSpirit; 03-27-2017 at 02:58 PM.
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Old 03-29-2017, 11:14 AM   #784
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

Not for me, but for another person in our group.

527: Blind Jedi are okay. Blind Jedi with piloting skills, not so much.
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Old 03-29-2017, 04:43 PM   #785
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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Originally Posted by cvannrederode View Post
Not for me, but for another person in our group.

527: Blind Jedi are okay. Blind Jedi with piloting skills, not so much.
528. No Miraluka (a SW race with no eyes, seeing through the Force) snipers, either.
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Old 04-03-2017, 04:20 PM   #786
L.J.Steele
 
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

529. When on a diplomatic mission to the infernal god/queen of the drow, not allowed to kill the Queen's consort's pet.
529a. Even if it insists on fighting us just because we appeared uninvited in the garden thru a secret entrance.
529b. Banishing the Queen's consort back to the Abyss is also a bad idea.
529c. But better than killing him (and funnier too).
529d. The monk scout is never allowed to flurry of blows the Queen's Vizier who we came to negotiate with.
529e. Not that we could have stopped him given his move rate.
529f. Not allowed to let the Vizier finger of death the monk in return, no matter how tempting that seems.
529g. Who could know that restoring the infernal god/queen of the drow's true name to her would cause her to lose control over her army of fey and elves converted over the past century into drow and devils?
529g. Not allowed to ignore the half-orc fighter's sage advice in order to resume a fight with the Vizier when things go to heck in a handbasket. Only a fool fights in a burning house -- or faltering cloud-castle.
529h. Probably won't be allowed to keep the two griffons we "liberated" from the drow's cloud castle to make our escape.
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Old 04-08-2017, 05:14 AM   #787
Hawk139
 
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

Not sure if this (or something similar) was said in the last 520ish posts, but it is good advice even if repeated.

530. As GM I am not allowed to destroy not only the PC'S but the entire reality they inhabit with no better reason then "just because I can" (no matter how much I may want to).

530a. "Because it'd be really funny" is probably also not an acceptable excuse.
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Old 04-08-2017, 03:50 PM   #788
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

530b: I am not allowed to point out the GM the funniest moments to kill us all just because he can.
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Old 04-08-2017, 08:12 PM   #789
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

531. I should not assume that subtle warnings like "This amulet literally reeks of unholy influence" will adequately warn the PCs off using an item stolen from the scenario's big bad.
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Old 04-08-2017, 08:30 PM   #790
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Default Re: Another 2000 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do In An RPG

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531. I should not assume that subtle warnings like "This amulet literally reeks of unholy influence" will adequately warn the PCs off using an item stolen from the scenario's big bad.
531a. In fact, I should assume that such subtle warnings will only encourage my players to use it.

531b. I am not to use such encouragements to screw them over in such a manner that leads to a TPK.
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