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Old 07-13-2020, 07:26 AM   #1621
Gumby Bush
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: CT
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Gelzear, an IQ 9 goblin, is sitting in a cell in a necromancer's lair.

Callithyia, a cleric of Apollo, tells a necromancer's fortune
Necromancer: "For this, I will grant you your life. In the future, I will grant much richer rewards"
Gelzear [OOC]: yeah, I guess your life isn't worth much.

GM: "the necromancer likes to reuse all parts of the sentient beings: skin for his books, bones for his army, and you can guess what he uses the meat for..."
Callithyia [OOC]: "yeah, I didn't remind him about the promised food for a reason"
GM: "Yeah, you probably saved Gelzear's life."

Callithyia walks past Gelzear's cell
GM: "Gelzear, roll Perception"
*Critically fails*
GM: "You are so caught up singing a goblin drinking song, you hear nothing. Callithyia, roll Perception"
*Fails*
GM: "You hear a terrible sound, like screaming. It sounds like skeleton army production, and you're pretty sure the necromancer will revoke his gift of your life if you disturb it."

Gelzear, sitting in cell a while later: "Hallo"
GM: "Roll against Perception"
*dice come up 18*
GM: You seem to hear another goblin reply "Hallo"
...
This conversation went on, in character, for a good half hour before Gelzear got fed up with his echo.

Callithyia and the party rogue, Laoghaire, attempt to cast a scroll to restore their ox's broken leg. Dice come up 18. The scroll was made by the necromancer, so I used the black critical table.

Gelzear [OOC]: "you might see Gelzear cry if the ox dies"
Callithyia [OOC]: "you might see me cry in real life if the ox dies"
GM: "Hm... 'the spell has the opposite of the intended effect' OK..."
Callithyia [OOC]: "Oh no, we broke it's *other* leg?!"
GM: "no, that's too boring. The ox is transmogrified into *just* it's leg, restored and living."

The session was great. An unusual number of critical failures which resulted in great fun for all.
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Old 07-13-2020, 08:50 AM   #1622
Luke Bunyip
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby Bush View Post
"... The ox is transmogrified into *just* it's leg, restored and living."
The good news is that at least they know what they can have for dinner...
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Old 07-13-2020, 11:27 AM   #1623
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gumby Bush View Post
GM: "no, that's too boring. The ox is transmogrified into *just* it's leg, restored and living."
Maybe this leg won't attract blaster-fire at an alarming rate.
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Old 07-13-2020, 01:24 PM   #1624
Gumby Bush
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

The Cleric just learned Sunbolt... so there's a risk :)
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Old 07-24-2020, 12:24 PM   #1625
William
 
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Location: Upper Peninsula of Michigan
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Patricia untangles the knot and looks at her makeshift rope. "Hmph. Well,
one of you didn't run."

Patricia hands Carlos a check and/or a bag of cash.

Ekur pings Carlos.

Ekur rolled 8 versus 18 and succeeded by 10.

William [to Ekur]: Carlos is, naturally, quite confused. He has been
kidnapped and handed a large check. These two events do not usually go
together in his experience.
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Old 07-24-2020, 04:47 PM   #1626
exalted
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Several players put their red and purple light sabers through the doors of a meeting room where several imperial warlords are meeting, cutting the doors open and enter. The players are not that sure either the jedi or the sith are really people to emulate and use bits of both creed, in their work for the New Republics black ops division.

The imperial warlords go all holy **** the sith are attacking including one shooting himself rather then getting captured.

One of the warlords disable his holographic camoflauge and is revealed to be an advanced hunter killer assassin droid.

HK-110 speaks as chaos breaks out around it: Shutting down diplomatic protocol, time to engage in human cyborg relations!.

Laughter breaks out before initiative is rolled.

Last edited by exalted; 07-24-2020 at 04:52 PM.
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Old 07-26-2020, 05:21 PM   #1627
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Raquel: “Look, I’m not interested in dealing with Thanos and his Hand of Fate.”
<beat>
GM: “(Groans) I heard what you said there.”

--

NPC: “Get down!”
Raquel: “Yeah, I’ll drop into the fecal position.”
Daska: “Uh--?”
Raquel: “I know what I said.”

--

GM: “It is not happy writing, and given the current context, you’re going to assume it’s full of boom-juice.”

--

Raquel: “You might want to move away from the barrels of explody-boom-juice.”
Daska: “Wha? OH! [Expletive deleted]!”

--

Raquel: “Bring another barrel, we’re almost out of boom-juice. Throw this nearly-empty barrel down the tower at those people climbing up.”
Daska: “Light it on fire and throw it.”
Raquel: “Let’s not do that.”

--

Melissa: “I do not want it to be canon that I sneeze my bees out!”

--

Melissa: “I’m okay if they live inside me, but I’m demanding veto power about them living in my sinuses!”

--

Melissa: “Okay, I’ve decided they can live in my nose. It won’t come out of my head. And I’ll wind up drawing it so you’re all going to suffer with me.”

--

GM: “You’re not sure if this is normal for here or not . . . but this is a goblin, in a dress, wearing a wig.”

--

(After a phenomenally good margin-based roll.)
GM: “You’ll have more points after I nerf that power. Don’t make me get all Statesman up in here.”
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Old 07-28-2020, 10:20 AM   #1628
ChaosCoyote
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Skarr View Post
Melissa: “I do not want it to be canon that I sneeze my bees out!”

Melissa: “I’m okay if they live inside me, but I’m demanding veto power about them living in my sinuses!”

Melissa: “Okay, I’ve decided they can live in my nose. It won’t come out of my head. And I’ll wind up drawing it so you’re all going to suffer with me.”
Just a little reference, cuz this makes no sense, even if it is funny.

Melissa got isekai’d by (accidentally) snorting a bee. In the other world, she can summon a swarm of bees as an ally.
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Old 08-01-2020, 02:31 PM   #1629
Mark Skarr
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Mark Skarr: "One of the Season Finales, for Infinite Weirdos, will have Thane, 'Mech-sized, fighting BattleMechs.
<beat>
A 'Mech-sized werewolf.
<beat>
Because GURPS."
(Picture, to make my point.)

Last edited by Mark Skarr; 08-01-2020 at 03:16 PM. Reason: Because GURPS.
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Old 08-02-2020, 06:09 AM   #1630
Isikyus
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

More from the fantasy-1930s-pirates:

Gerri has hired Jimilany (PC) as a "squire" for a fancy 'do'. While the VIPs talk, Jimilany joins the other servants for a game of cards:

Jimilany: "I'm going to lose so much of Gerri's money."

Later:
Gerri: "I am demoting you from Squire in Training to Trainee Squire. When I get other squires they will be able to boss you around."


The party leave the hotel in a hurry, and need to sneak out Gerri's wardrobe and Mikhail's full-sized radio set:

Mikhail: "Maybe I could throw a sheet over my cart, and pretend it's a cart of bodies. No, that would draw more attention. Maybe I could throw a sheet over my cart, and pretend it's a cart of sheets."

Jimilany searches a room and finds a single boot print:

Jimilany: "Aha! It's Long John Silver!"
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