Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise)

vicky_molokh · 01-08-2011, 07:59 AM

Greetings, all!

Just noticed this one, and it's really fun once you figure the out-of-context interpretation:

Quote:

In societies more
suspicious of big business, the SJG
monitors corporations closely, scrutinizing
ads for subliminal messages
and analyzing tax data in search of
“financial anomalies.”

Bonus points to those who know where it is from.

How about you - what funny or otherwise interesting quotes have you found throughout the books?

panton41 · 01-08-2011, 08:07 AM

Two from the same source:

Quote:

Leprechauns have rosy cheeks, bright eyes, and rotten dispositions. Their reasons for this last part are excellent – the number of leprechauns slain annually by adventurers looking for pots of gold is truly horrific. The world probably has a lot to answer for.

And:

Quote:

Mobster halflings like little better than whacking rival gangsters, grabbing the dough, and enjoying a spaghetti dinner afterward.

Agemegos · 01-08-2011, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vicky_molokh

Bonus points to those who know where it is from.

Space, p. 26.

AmesJainchill · 01-08-2011, 05:15 PM

"Don't eat the car!"

We were using mini-chocolate bars to represent cars the PCs had taken cover behind during a combat, one player absentmindedly grabbed one and started eating it...

IrishRover · 01-08-2011, 09:14 PM

Not GURPS, but funny...
Someone's looking over some stuff I dropped, and says, "Nice silver."

I reply, without even thinking about it, "It's just ordinary munitions-grade silver."

He looks at me, and says, "Some words don't belong in the same sentence."

fredtheobviouspseudonym · 01-08-2011, 10:11 PM

1.) From a WWII OSS game: "With this acquisition, men, we now have strategic mobility."

"Sir, what we have is a bicycle with wooden tires."

2.) Generic game: "Don't worry -- this is going to be stupid, and funny too."

3.) Ditto: After snuffing four vampires: "The dog was more of a challenge." (It was, but it's too hard to explain.)

mook · 01-10-2011, 01:05 AM

For some reason this entry from the 3rd edition Firearm Critical Miss Table has always made me chuckle:

"If the weapon was a laser, blaster, or flamethrower, you are also on fire."

Randyman · 01-10-2011, 02:39 PM

"GURPS Special Ops, 2nd Edition"

Michele · 01-11-2011, 10:15 AM

"Ve Have Vays of Making You Talk"
And, under that heading:
"Ve vill have vaffles, vaitress!" and "Is gooooooot. Now you vill get me a non-dairy creamer".

Dewey · 01-11-2011, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michele

"Ve Have Vays of Making You Talk"
And, under that heading:
"Ve vill have vaffles, vaitress!" and "Is gooooooot. Now you vill get me a non-dairy creamer".

GURPS WWII: Iron Cross, page 115.

01-08-2011, 05:15 PM	#4
AmesJainchill Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise) "Don't eat the car!" We were using mini-chocolate bars to represent cars the PCs had taken cover behind during a combat, one player absentmindedly grabbed one and started eating it... __________________ My gaming groups Wiki: GURPS Star Wars house rules, example spaceships, etc.

01-08-2011, 09:14 PM	#5
IrishRover Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise) Not GURPS, but funny... Someone's looking over some stuff I dropped, and says, "Nice silver." I reply, without even thinking about it, "It's just ordinary munitions-grade silver." He looks at me, and says, "Some words don't belong in the same sentence." __________________ You can acomplish a lot with a kind word, but you can acomplish a lot more with a kind word and a vicious left hook.

01-08-2011, 10:11 PM	#6
fredtheobviouspseudonym Join Date: May 2007	Possibilities: 1.) From a WWII OSS game: "With this acquisition, men, we now have strategic mobility." "Sir, what we have is a bicycle with wooden tires." 2.) Generic game: "Don't worry -- this is going to be stupid, and funny too." 3.) Ditto: After snuffing four vampires: "The dog was more of a challenge." (It was, but it's too hard to explain.)

01-10-2011, 01:05 AM	#7
mook Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Los Angeles	Re: Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise) For some reason this entry from the 3rd edition Firearm Critical Miss Table has always made me chuckle: "If the weapon was a laser, blaster, or flamethrower, you are also on fire." __________________ How to Be a GURPS GM, author Game Geekery, Blog (GURPS combat examples, fillable PDF sheets, rules summaries, campaigns and one-shots, beginners' intro) GURPS Discord, unofficial hangout and real-time chat

01-10-2011, 02:39 PM	#8
Randyman Join Date: May 2009	Re: Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise) "GURPS Special Ops, 2nd Edition" __________________ "Despite (GURPS) reputation for realism and popularity with simulationists, the numbers are and always have been assessed in the service of drama." - Kromm "(GURPS) isn't a game but a toolkit for building games, and the GM needs to use it intelligently" - Kromm

01-11-2011, 10:15 AM	#9
Michele Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Udine, Italy	Re: Most hilarious GURPS quotes (out of context or otherwise) "Ve Have Vays of Making You Talk" And, under that heading: "Ve vill have vaffles, vaitress!" and "Is gooooooot. Now you vill get me a non-dairy creamer". __________________ Michele Armellini GURPS Locations: St. George's Cathedral