Products for dragons

Anders · 01-11-2013, 08:19 AM

It's an easier way to get to a dragon's treasure. You find what they need and sell it to them! What would you sell?

"I can't believe she's not a virgin!" - ladies with their virtue restored through the power of SCIENCE!
"The Anti-Knight Can Opener!" - guaranteed to open 100% of all non-enchanted armor (attachments for enchanted armor sold separately)
"The Universal Toothpick!" - made from sturdy oak, this item will remove spears and swords as readily as daggers and bones

Flyndaran · 01-11-2013, 08:47 AM

High temperature titanium back scratchers

Giant fire extinguishers to keep all those non-metal treasures safe. Foir when the knights run around on fire rather than just lying down and dying.

Asbestos pillows for those long sleeps.

Scale bedazzler for that modern jewled look all the parisian dragons are wearing this year.

Anaraxes · 01-11-2013, 10:38 AM

Mr. Microphone ("Hey, good-looking, I'll be back to pick you up later!")
Slap Chop sized for hobbits
St. George Four-man grill
Smokeless Ashcan

I'm guessing the food dehydrator would be redundant.

Help me! Mr. Popeil!

Nymdok · 01-11-2013, 10:39 AM

Claw Polish and a Paint roller with wich to apply it

Speedo - Cuz everytime you fly over a village, they see your junk

Wing Streamers - When you want to be scourge...a FABULOUS scourge.

Furfoot's Sleep Aid - Halflings doped up on sleeping potions. Warning! May be hobbit forming!

Claw to Finger Adapters - Find that special ring but it only comes in human size?

Mithril Foundation Garments - To cover those weak spots we get in our scales as we get older...

Bumper Stickers for dragon haunches

Silly Dwarves, Gold is for Dragons!
Wyrm Up, Smaug!
Dont Like My Dragon-ing? Dial 1-800-OMG-MY-VILLAGE-IS-CONSUMED-IN-HELLFIRE
Trying to catch me Wyvern dirty
Dragons : Showing the Weakness in Dwarven Defenses since 1170 S.R.
Elves taste like chicken.
Elrond is a sissy
Flying is Up Scale!
SUCK IT DIRT TRODDERS!

Nymdok

Jovus · 01-11-2013, 11:07 AM

I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned The Communist Manifesto.

RogerBW · 01-11-2013, 11:11 AM

Diamond-toothed combs for getting out scale-mites.

Small pots labelled "salve of protection from dragon-fire - GUARANTEED", to be filled with garlic butter and sold by the dragon's minions on the road up to the smoking cave.

Mode S transponder for flying in controlled airspace.

Nymdok · 01-11-2013, 11:24 AM

Lost your spark? Just cant heat things up like you used to?

Dragonzyte - Natural Flame enhancement

Nymdok

Bruno · 01-11-2013, 11:26 AM

Automatic coin sorter and counter - provides total value in nominal currency and as bulk metal!

Coin pile shaper, in six amusing novelty shapes.

Crochet horn cozies with the little bobbles on the tips.

Irish Wolf · 01-11-2013, 12:08 PM

Tired of your breath constantly smelling of those tasty virgins and the silly warriors who try to save them?

Try new BLISTERENE mouthwash! Guaranteed to restore the kissing-sweet smell of sulphur - and nothing else! - to your mouth!

BLISTERENE - recommended by four out of five Elder Wyrms!

Mailanka · 01-14-2013, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nymdok

Speedo - Cuz everytime you fly over a village, they see your junk

As popularized by Fin Fang Foom

01-11-2013, 08:19 AM	#1
Anders Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gothenburg, Sweden	Products for dragons It's an easier way to get to a dragon's treasure. You find what they need and sell it to them! What would you sell? "I can't believe she's not a virgin!" - ladies with their virtue restored through the power of SCIENCE! "The Anti-Knight Can Opener!" - guaranteed to open 100% of all non-enchanted armor (attachments for enchanted armor sold separately) "The Universal Toothpick!" - made from sturdy oak, this item will remove spears and swords as readily as daggers and bones __________________ “When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ...” Marcus Aurelius

01-11-2013, 08:47 AM	#2
Flyndaran Untagged Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Forest Grove, Beaverton, Oregon	Re: Products for dragons High temperature titanium back scratchers Giant fire extinguishers to keep all those non-metal treasures safe. Foir when the knights run around on fire rather than just lying down and dying. Asbestos pillows for those long sleeps. Scale bedazzler for that modern jewled look all the parisian dragons are wearing this year. __________________ Beware, poor communication skills. No offense intended. If offended, it just means that I failed my writing skill check.

01-11-2013, 10:38 AM	#3
Anaraxes Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: Products for dragons Mr. Microphone ("Hey, good-looking, I'll be back to pick you up later!") Slap Chop sized for hobbits St. George Four-man grill Smokeless Ashcan I'm guessing the food dehydrator would be redundant. Help me! Mr. Popeil!

01-11-2013, 10:39 AM	#4
Nymdok Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Houston	Re: Products for dragons Claw Polish and a Paint roller with wich to apply it Speedo - Cuz everytime you fly over a village, they see your junk Wing Streamers - When you want to be scourge...a FABULOUS scourge. Furfoot's Sleep Aid - Halflings doped up on sleeping potions. Warning! May be hobbit forming! Claw to Finger Adapters - Find that special ring but it only comes in human size? Mithril Foundation Garments - To cover those weak spots we get in our scales as we get older... Bumper Stickers for dragon haunches Silly Dwarves, Gold is for Dragons! Wyrm Up, Smaug! Dont Like My Dragon-ing? Dial 1-800-OMG-MY-VILLAGE-IS-CONSUMED-IN-HELLFIRE Trying to catch me Wyvern dirty Dragons : Showing the Weakness in Dwarven Defenses since 1170 S.R. Elves taste like chicken. Elrond is a sissy Flying is Up Scale! SUCK IT DIRT TRODDERS! Nymdok

01-11-2013, 11:07 AM	#5
Jovus Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Products for dragons I'm surprised no one has yet mentioned The Communist Manifesto. __________________ Converting the Temple of Elemental Evil to GURPS Dungeon Fantasy ------ Jorrik Harrisson The Wiz

01-11-2013, 11:11 AM	#6
RogerBW Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: near London, UK	Re: Products for dragons Diamond-toothed combs for getting out scale-mites. Small pots labelled "salve of protection from dragon-fire - GUARANTEED", to be filled with garlic butter and sold by the dragon's minions on the road up to the smoking cave. Mode S transponder for flying in controlled airspace. __________________ Podcast: Improvised Radio Theatre - With Dice Gaming stuff here: Tekeli-li! Blog; Webcomic Laager and Limehouse Buy things by me on Warehouse 23

01-11-2013, 11:24 AM	#7
Nymdok Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Houston	Re: Products for dragons Lost your spark? Just cant heat things up like you used to? Dragonzyte - Natural Flame enhancement Nymdok

01-11-2013, 11:26 AM	#8
Bruno Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada	Re: Products for dragons Automatic coin sorter and counter - provides total value in nominal currency and as bulk metal! Coin pile shaper, in six amusing novelty shapes. Crochet horn cozies with the little bobbles on the tips. __________________ All about Size Modifier; Unified Hit Location Table A Wiki for my F2F Group A neglected GURPS blog

01-11-2013, 12:08 PM	#9
Irish Wolf Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Earth, mostly	Re: Products for dragons Tired of your breath constantly smelling of those tasty virgins and the silly warriors who try to save them? Try new BLISTERENE mouthwash! Guaranteed to restore the kissing-sweet smell of sulphur - and nothing else! - to your mouth! BLISTERENE - recommended by four out of five Elder Wyrms! __________________ If you break the laws of Man, you go to prison. If you break the laws of God, you go to Hell. If you break the laws of Physics, you go to Sweden and receive a Nobel Prize.

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