Memorable Quotes.

[Perssek]

It was during the first time we were playing Shadowrun, 2nd edition, for the historically inclined ones. It was the DNA/DOA module, by the late Dave Arneson. There's a point where the players go through the sewers to get into Aztech's underground labs. Up that point, the players were excelling in stealth and infiltration skills. They invade a guard room by means of a service duct, the mage knocks out two ork guards in there, and the team proceeds to check the rest of the building outside the guard room. The team's obligatory heavy weapon user troll stays behind to tie the guards.
He can't find cuffs, so he improvises. He takes off their clothes, fills their mouths with their own socks, and uses the guard's belts to tie them in a most... peculiar way, to say the least. Bondage is a word that comes to mind. Then he thinks that maybe he can fit into the guard's armored clothes, since they are so much better than his, and almost the right size, and starts unclothing.
The mage goes back to see if the troll needs help with the guard, sees the scene above, and manages to say "Gods, I'm sorry. Need more five minutes?"

[BLloyd607502]

The same Seargeant as the last Quote.
During a battle planetside we discovered that the enemy forces on the planet were a lot larger and better trained than we'd thought they were or intel had thought they were. There were about 5 enemies for every one we'd thought there were, our order was to attack however if we had then we would of been destroyed.
Our entire army quickly retreated into a circle around the dropzone about 25 miles in diameter so that reinforcements could come in however the enemy had jammed our signals so we couldn't contact reinforcements.
We spent about 3 or 4 weeks hiding in a series of haberdash built trenches while getting bombed before a Officer was sent down to find out why we wern't back yet.
The officer was one of those types who belives our average soldier is expendable, war is easy and had probably never fired a gun.
So he arrives, finds out what happend and gathers everyone together (Leaving our defences very weakend as only the motion sensor guns are left running)

Officer: Well, I've heard what happened here and I'm disappointed, you're members of the UNSC MArine and I didn't expect such Cowardice from our troops. Now tomorrow first thing we're going to attack in full force and when we get back to the Ship I'm going to report every one of you for *Long, long speech on how we're all cowardly monkeys who couldn't fight our way out of a paper Bag and how he's going to have us all shot for gross incompitance if we survive tomorrows attack.* Now get back to your posts you imici-*Head Explodes as a plasma Bolt (Weapon only used be the enemy, equivalent to a sniper) flies in one ear and out the other, everyone turns to where it came from guns raised, the seargean steps up, qalks throught the silent crowd to the platform and kicks the body off the stage then looks at the soldiers* The officer was, regretuflly, killed in an enemy action during a speech in an attempt to motivate the troops, no one else was killed due to our quick response time and training. Regretfully there was nothing that could be done or any way this could of been forseen. In reponse we decided to bunker down so as to avoid any more casualties when we obviously were outgunned. Does anyone have any Questions? No? Good. Lets hope they send someone more intelligent Next time. Back to your posts *Slings the plasma Gun over his shoulders, picks up the corpse and walks off.
*Total silence for a few seconds then*
Random NPC Soldier: Why arn't you a general yet again?

[Mark Skarr]

I was on a roll at our Hero game yesterday, I can only remember a couple though:

Storm Shadow (a weather witch, not a ninja. Shadowvyce is our ninja) is using a magical book to divine information about the location where we're supposed to go. The book is writing the information out as she reads it.

Dirk (NPC): That's a neat trick, is it wireless?
Red Velvet: Yes. She's plugged into the Ethernet.
Shadowvyce (world's loudest ninja): Hey! Bad puns are my domain!

Same conversation, moments later after explaining to the head NPC that one of the people who brought us to him was the famous paranormal doctor, GummiBear.

Jacques (NPC): My word, that's GummiBear? I never thought he'd be so dour in person.
Red Velvet: Well, you know that new rage with candy, right? Make sour versions. This is the new, sour version of GummiBear.

End of conversation as we're preparing to leave. We have gotten up and are walking to the gate.

Jacques (NPC): Would there be anything else I could help you with?
Red Velvet: We could use a dog collar and a leash. For Shadowvyce. He's always wandering off.
Shadowvyce (was having an IC conversation with another player): I'm going to go inside and get some biscuits and jam.
GM: So, you're walking away from the party?
Shadowvyce: (nods) Yeah.
Red Velvet: SEE!
Backup: Can you make it a shock collar, keyed to his voice?

[Koshka]

"Since I want to be quiet, I'll throw a fragmentation grenade."

(If you were to guess that player had had a bad day IRL, you'd be right.)

[Steamteck]

Our supers game. Bedrock extremely strong stone man is trying to grab a boulder to hurl it at a bunch of sci fi type heavy troopers but is taking heavy fire.

Thunderchild ( basically Doc Savage lite with golden age Superman's powers and the first modern super) " You get the boulder and I'll draw their fire."
he leaps between them puffs out his chest and calls on them to surrender and they blast him about 10 of them with ion rifles and miniguns. Thunderchild takes a lot of stun and even a little damage but they ignore Bedrock until he hurls first a 4 hex boulder through the group then grabs a smaller boulder and scatters a bunch more.

Bedrock "Are you crazy? How could you expose yourself like that?

Thunderchild " Its OK , At least I allowed you to get your rocks off.



Meanwhile in the science fiction universe, dimension traveling two fisted pulp adventurer occultist. Logan Starke and his lovely assistant Tyra Von Shrakenburg are pulp like dancing around their attraction to each other. They are both " not wanting to damage their relationship, waiting for the right time "etc. etc.

They are adventuring with Laryn Caligari ( yes her advisors are the Caligari cabinet) smartest woman in the universe but totally socially inept. They come upon Mina Lekatariba ,genetically engineered super human who is super beautiful, super strong ,super fast, super intelligent, no need to sleep, etc. etc.. Also totally socially incompetent.( think Leeloo from the 5th element squared)

Now Mina is hardwired to find heroic men almost irresistible so she explains to Logan she is super strong, double jointed , never gets tired and has memorized 47 books on sexual pleasure. Logan is shall we say a bit uncomfortable as is Tyra. Laryn who has empathy as a power but is NOT empathetic says about Tyra "This woman also would like to have sexual relations with you if there are scheduling issues I'm sure my secretary could help out."
Mina applauds her efficiency while Logan and Tyra are dumbfounded, embarrassed and now paralyzed in the next step of their relationship. Laryn is totally puzzled when Logan complains to her.

[Mark Skarr]

In our "Teen" Supers game (the Teens have all graduated from High School and the youngest is now 19 and they have new identities [those who survived do, anyway]):

Jules (OOC): Seriously, he just doesn't get it. Remember, he's clueless. Nothing Sticks.
MonkeyFist: Yeah, his mind is a frictionless surface.

-----Edit
Forgot this one:
We got home about 0130 Monday morning from gaming all day Sunday. As MonkeyFist and I are closing the car up, another car pulls up in the parking lot and a kid with a vinyl mat and some D&D books gets out of the back seat of a car.

Me: "Look. More gamers."
Kid: *laughs*
MonkeyFist: "Who else would be in a parking lot, at one-am, sober?"

[BLloyd607502]

During a really over the top martial arts RP (Think Anime style battles with stupidly long titles) a few of the attacks (Yelled Very loudly by the players)

"Stance of the Drunken Mice!"
"Strike of Ten Badgers!"
"Leap of the Crouching Dragon (Also known as running away until you think of something to do to defeat your opponent, 'Ready, set, Run away!')"
And my favourite
"Battle Warbling (Allows the character to use rudimentary sonar to see in the dark using E-flat (Yeah, Johnny English))"

[Blood Legend]

During a spaceship mutinee the players are deciding who lives and who dies during the chaos. The conversation turns to an NPC whos' fond of Clone-Vatting.

Robot to his Mutant Compatriot: "Because like him or not we are sort of friends? We kill him a lot, or at least you do, but we are all in this **** together"

[RevBob]

It's been years, so forgive me for fudging some of the details. The end is right, and that's the important part.

This was an old-school VtM game, and the party had just been shoved together. The dominant member of the gang was Vincent, a Ventrue who had an attractive female teenaged ward named Kathi, as well as a butler we never really named - we just called him Alfred because he was very much modeled on Mr. Pennyworth's dry wit and localized omniscience. The other relevant party members were Diana, a very cynical Toreador prostitute, and Lori, an Assamite with a Really Fast Sports Car.

Anyhow, the characters are getting to know each other at Vincent's place - in some cases with narrowly-avoided violence, as when Diana almost slams her stiletto heel through Vincent's forehead after an offensive remark - when they hear the unmistakable screech of a car peeling out of the driveway At Velocity. The party leaps to the windows, just in time to see Kathi behind the wheel of Lori's car, heading for the downtown clubs. Quoth the party:

Vincent: "My ward!"
Lori: "My car!"
Diana: "My God!"

[Blood Legend]

Originally Posted by RevBob

Vincent: "My ward!"
Lori: "My car!"
Diana: "My God!"

...oh that's just classic.